How do you get rid of the images of your husband's affair?

Question

My fiancee has cheated on me with a girl I actually have seen her picture, so I know vividly what she looks like. He swears that she went to get on him (to have sex) and he pushed her off. These images are in my head and I just want to get them out! We are trying to work things out and everything I have asked him to do, he's done. He also says that the particular incident I am talking about was back in November and hasn't happened since. She used to come see his band play and he no longer plays and is home 100% of the time so I'm not affraid of him doing it again. I just want the images gone. Can someone help?Thanks

AND it's not like I could just leave him, to those of you who have that suggestion. I love him still and want to get past this. Plus we have a 2 year old together.

Answer 1

That is a very good question... It will be every hard to do, but it can be done if u r willing to work things out....

Every time u start to think about that u should think of all the good thing he has and is doing for u.. Yes sometimes its hard, but he told u he didn't have sex. U have to put that in ur mind he loves u and he will do every thing for u. It is good that he is showing u cz action speak louder than words.....
I'm not saying it will happen over night but it will happen.....
Time help everything u will see... for that girl for get her she is not worth ur time there is some thing more important that is u life is to shore to be thinking of anyone, but ur happiness good luck I wish u and ur fiancee the best......

Answer 2

Having problems at the beginning of a marriage is a sure sign of a divorce. Extend the engagement by a few more months and make a long list of the perfect man for you, then see if he is most of those things (off by a few only). Include how he makes you feel and what he'd do in certain cercumstances, how he dresses and what kind of car he would have. See if he's really what you want.
If he told you about this and didn't have too, he's letting you know something for some reason subconsciensly. My son and my ex husband gave me signs of things that I ignored or looked over. They want you to understand something without telling you and looking bad. Just be selfish about YOU and see if he understands that. Your feelings matter the most. because you are your bestfriend & you choose how your life is gonna play out. Do you want to hurt forever? If he's ok with postponing the engagement, he doesn't want to marry you.

Answer 3

Truly the only healing for this I have seen has to come from the Grace of God. It is a difficult thing and I know that you are not married, but This is one of the reasons sex before marriage is bad... it inflates the mind's abitility to picture and fantisize. It also knocks down any defense the mind has because it wants what it wants when it wants it. If this person is truly sorry I say give him another chance and see what happens, but if you give him another chance with a bunch of rules that say I don't trust you and I know you are going to cheat, it will never work. We are all human and we all make mistakes, and if you truly have forgiven him then you need to act like it never happened. People say forgive not forget I say forgive AND forget. It's the only way. Also you need to forgive the girl involved here. Hate will eat you alive.

Answer 4

first of all, if it isnt' going to work you are not doing your two year old any favours cause he is her daddy. Secondly loving someone doesn't make a relationship always work. There is no way for anyone to tell you to get past this. Some people can, some people never do. It is all really in your hands for what you know you can handle living with.

Answer 5

I don't think that the images will ever go away completely. You have to accept them and move on with your relationship. Trying to fix a relationship after an affair is a process that takes time. It is not like getting over a cold.

You write that your boyfriend told you nothing happened, so you have to believe him or end the relationship.

If you don't like my suggestion, try hypnosis.

Answer 6

obviously you are not letting the picture go, because you cant for a specific reason.... you can not forgive him... if you really forgive him, then you would forget about it. forgiving someone, means you start over and just let things go. i know you can not let things go or especially forget but maybe you are jealous of that girl and thats why you cant forget>
i know it is hard to admit or see this, but if you can not forget then you need to leave him.he cheated and you deserve better. he commited adultry and if he did not get caught i bet you 100% he still would be cheating......
once a cheater always a cheater...
i would feel betrayed and especially being married. marriage is something to be taken seriously and if my husband cheated i know it would be hard but that wuld be it, i would be gone. please jsut make the right decision.

Answer 7

i have gone through the same thing girl i wont lie to you its going to be hard, one of the hardest things in your relationship especially if you are the faithful one. My husband did about a year ago and i still think about it everyday. He was under the influence of meth i tell him that is no excuse! you just got to talk to him about it and if you 2 really love each other put it in the past

Answer 8

Sweetie, , time can only heal what's going on in your mind. If your love is strong,then let it heal by keep talking to him, this will ease up slowly each day. I will say something but I don't want you to be offended by it, and I do apologize if I do. In reality no one can force them self to someone if the other person doesn't want it to.
Let me tell you my experienced, when i was dating my husband, he promise me that he will not look for another woman but unfortunately he broke that promise by renting 2 prostitute when he was in other country, he told me after we got married, I forgive him because we weren't married yet but the trust that I have for him was lost. And now after 22 long years he committed adultery to a married woman, who is so not good looking and lots of wrinkled on her face.What my husband told me was this woman tried to seduce him,which I know she didn't because he told her that his starting to have deep feelings for her.
No one can force someones body to another one unless that person is willing to walk away. Right now it will bothers you because you know your fiancee in bed,but time will heal it, just be patient and when this happen again,it will be out of your system,.just give yourself a chance for the sake of your baby and your love towards him..

Answer 9

Dump him! Why would you want a cheater, don't you want someone to be true to you. I also think he is being selfish to you and your child, what if he brings a disease home to you and both of you won't even be around to care for that baby. Once someone cheats they will do it again, if you stay with him you will see how true that is.

Answer 10

no images can be erased, it takes alot of detemination and strength to dislocate them.i am proud that you have given him a second chance , you have already reached your peak!The next step will be a fruitful one,All the best not everyone has the heart to forgive!