Let's say you go out with your hubby, all his friends are there and within an hour he leaves you, never to be seen until the end of the night. It's not like there is no room at the table and he doesn't come back to see you or even drop off a drink on his way by. You end up talking to people but you notice that many married couples seem to always come back to each other long before yours. I hate crowds and grow nervous if I don't know anyone, he knows this but he just doesn't seem to care and leaves me alone. His so called friends have been known to hit on me and he is nowhere to be found. No amount of talking works, I don't want him around me all night but shouldn't there be some kind of happy medium? Am I asking too much? He carries on with friends and their girlfriends and seems to remember me at the end of the night and gets all lovey when we get home. Should I get over it or do I have a reason to be slightly irritated by his lack of attention during outings?
2007-03-26 06:09:27 · 19 answers · asked by trojan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Interesting...
You say you have tried to talk to him about it, but to no avail? I guess you could stay home. I know it would be even more lonely, though. Or maybe go out with a few of your girl friends.
Too bad that talking about it hasn't fixed it. Perhaps a bit more persistence is in order. Tell him that you want to go with him, but ask him what the both of you can do to remedy this. Not just what he can do. I am guessing, but I'll bet that he is telling you to just lighten up, and not to worry about being nervous, and to have fun. But you see, there is one person wanting the other one to fix the problem. If you want this to work out, and not be a major bone of contention between the both of you, you both have to do something to fix it. Working together is a whole lot easier than working against one another.
Good luck.
Stevo.
2007-03-26 06:24:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was he like this before you married him? If not, you have a good reason to be more than slightly irritated. My husband used to do the same to me with the same result of his friends hitting on me. He blamed it on me even though I didn't dress provocatively or get drunk or flirt.
I tried to reason with him about this many times. Since we both have agreed that talking to these men doesn't seem to do any good, you can try several things which eventually worked for me.
Next time he wants to go out, tell him either he checks in with you at decent intervals during the evening or you aren't going out to another one of these events. If he doesn't keep up his side of this bargain, don't go with him ever again. It's hard for a man to show up solo at couples get togethers.
Or you can actually wear something extremely daring, flirt outrageously with his friends and just be the life of the party and forget about him for hours on end like he does to you.
Both will get his attention and might get a dialogue started about his lack of attention. I usually can't pry my husband away from my side with a crowbar these days. Make sure that is what you want because you may get the opposite behavior in response.
2007-03-26 06:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by realst1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be VERY irritated if I were you. That is just a general lack of consideration for his wife. I can certainly understand that everyone needs "alone" time and time to mingle but if he is sitting there laughing and yucking it up wtih the rest of his friends and their girlfriends KNOWING how you feel toward crowds of people you don't know, that is just damned disrespectful to me. I would say that if you are uncomfortable, instead of going with him next time tell him to go by himself and that way you can either spend your time doing something that YOU enjoy with your alone time in the house, or go out with your friends and enjoy their time. That seems to be the much better idea than to sit around in a place you don't know and be hurt because of your husband's selfish and inconsiderate actions toward his wife. He can't turn it on and off like a faucet and be loving at home but disrespectful, rude and maliciously hurtful in front of others. If you do go to a function next time and that happens....get him and yourself a drink and take the drink to him and hang around while he is talking to these people. Join the conversation or just sit there and listen. It may be awkward and you may feel like people are angry that you joined in but soon enough he will get the hint if you keep doing it often enough. Stand up for your feelings, though they may be fallin on deaf ears you deserve the right to be treated like a human being, let alone a wife!
2007-03-26 06:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by Erin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's going to maximum truly damage the Iguana because it received't sense secure and change into very lower than pressure. you are able to attempt spraying the cat with a water bottle anytime that you seize it watching the Iguana. pass the Iguana right into a room and close the door so the cat won't be able to get to it. Cats are organic predators and the Iguana appears to be like prey on your cat. My Iguana is 5 a million/2 ft lengthy and scares the cats so as that they go away him on my own. at the same time as he became youthful I kept him in my room and locked the cats out.
2016-10-17 21:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very hurt. I would definitely let him know how you feel. Communication is so important, if you don't tell him how you feel, he may never even realize there is a problem. Most spouses want to be with their wife, I don't get why he would just take off on you.
I hope you can talk to him and let him know how you feel, good luck.
2007-03-26 06:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, when me and my husband go out, we stay together. sure go and mingle but who in their right ming leaves their wifes alone and at a bar? he seems to not care. i dont know but if it were me, i would definetly be a pissed wife and after the first time maybe the second would be the last that my husband do this. you must not really mean business, or you really dont "scare" him enough to stp doing what he is doing. good luck and no do NOT let it go. he needs to stop.
2007-03-26 06:17:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jdez 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
apparently you are glutton for punishment. also you are not accepting the obvious. this is the way your husband is. stop going out with him under these circumstances. let him go alone and you can find something else to do.
why make an issue of this when you can take a different approach?
2007-03-26 06:16:25 · answer #7 · answered by marciasiegel2004 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset if my husband did that to me. What is the point of going out TOGETHER if you will spend the evening by yourself. If he does this again, walk over to where he is and join him. Take the initiative to resolve the problem yourself. If this doesn't work, suggest that he go by himself since he doesn't want or need you there.
2007-03-26 06:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by lizzzg 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It almost seems like you're a minor out with a chaperon. If you are that uncomfortable being on your own, why bother to go out with him at all? Let him go out alone and enjoy time with his buddies without the worry of having to babysit you.
2007-03-26 06:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband should also be your best friend. His behavior is inappropriate and you both need to discuss this issue before it gets any worse. Is he ashamed of you? Do you embarrass him? Something is not quit right with this picture. Good luck. It sounds like you care, he's lucky.
2007-03-26 06:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋