change his mind?
She's gained about 20 pounds in the past year and is very self-concious about it.
He's a health nut, and he thinks that giving her a gift of a year long membership at the gym for Mother's Day is the greatest idea he's ever had!
I think it is an insult.... what do you think?
How can I make him see this is rude?
Plus, his mother knows I always pick out her gifts, even though from both of us, and I don't want her to think I had anything to do with this!
2007-03-26 06:01:21 · 13 answers · asked by Reserved 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Flat out tell him that most women would take that as an insult. And you don't want to be involved in giving a rude gift.
2007-03-26 06:05:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can take him out of it then that would be good but it does not seem that easy. First explain to him why you feel that this is a bad idea, if he does not see eye to eye with you still then I believe that you should then just go pick out an additional gift for her that has a lot of thought put into it that way to balance out the whole gym membership deal. I hope that everything works out but I believe that if you do go with the gym membership and something else you should be fine.
2007-03-26 06:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is self-conscious about her weight gain and says something about it to either of you why don't you mention the gym like "have you thought about going to the gym?" It would give you an idea whether it would be appreciated or seen as an insult by her. I would appreciate the gift personally because i can't afford a membership like that. If she is a health nut like he is then she might appreciate it too. If he insists and you don't think it's a good idea then buy something small for her from you and give her both gifts and give them to her separately 1 from each of you so she knows you weren't in on the membership.
2007-03-26 06:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that this one could backfire big time. Unless the mother-in-law has specifically said she would like to join a gym, you could end up, as you have said, taking a lot of grief for something that had absolutely nothing to do with you.
Three suggestions:
1. In lieu of a gym membership, suggest a day at a spa (massage, hair, nails, etc.).
2. If that doesn't work, make it clear to the hubby, and later to the M-I-L that the gift was her son's idea.
You could say it good-naturedly - "He usually struggles coming up with a gift idea, but this year he came up with this idea all on his own. But you are his (emphasis on HIS) mom and I didn't want to interfere."
Or, "Hubby asked me what I thought of the gift, I wasn't sure you would like it but he was excited about the idea and I didn't want to interfere, so the gym gift if was."
You don't have to make a big deal about it or even invest more than 10 seconds getting the idea across that the gift was her son's idea. Then move on. Let him deal with any fallout.
3. You give her a gift on your own and let him give her the gym gift on his own. That way it is clear who gave whom what.
2007-03-26 06:18:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep trying to talk him out of it. But, if he's so ready to hurt her feelings, I would suggest a separate gift from you. Something that would ease the blow from him and reminder her how you value her. Pick something that she's good at (photography, art, etc.) that is totally unrelated to her appearance.
2007-03-26 06:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by NaturalPhotos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do one thing gift your husband something that would help him correct himself in some or the other way , that way he would feel insulted and then you may try to change his mind.
2007-03-26 06:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may on no account be too old for a discount e book crammed with massages! lol once I unquestionably have a problematic individual to keep for, I in basic terms p.c.. them up a recent certificates to Walmart or objective.you additionally can get her a field of see's candy...you may take her out to brunch or dinner...I completely forgot approximately mom's Day coming quickly.i don't additionally know what day its on lol.
2016-10-19 23:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like your mother in law is constantly in your life. How many days go by on average without any contact with her? Is she like around all the time? Did you marry a mommy's boy?
2007-03-26 06:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry. I can't see anyting wrong with it. If she's ever once talked about losing weight or concerns about her health then it's a great gift idea.
2007-03-26 06:06:00 · answer #9 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell your husband you are getting his mother something else so it won't hurt her feelings and seem rude
2007-03-26 06:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋