Help me please. What should I do?

Question

Family members and neighbors tend to drop by all the time uninvited. They will show up during dinner time, or our coffee time. This is constant!! Our food bill is getting outrageous. They don't even bring us a gallon of milk and they know I have children. On a typical day we go through a gallon of milk and that is without the company. I've tried saying things like, kids eat your food and don't ask for anymore because I cooked just enough. Some of these people will just sit themselves at my table even before my children sit down. Some won't leave until I give them at least coffee. We've eaten our dinner very late waiting for them to leave. It's ridiculous. One of them, who is an older man and is very well to do, goes through my kitchen cabinets, my refridge, etc. looking for snacks. I have locked our cabinets and changed the snacks locations to no avail. I've even ignored the door. They'll bang on my windows!! I've been blunt, I've been rude. Nothing works!! Help!!!

Answer 1

Oh my goodness, what a horrible ordeal for your family! This is what I would do personally. Make a sign that hangs on your front door saying "Our family is having dinner. Please do not disturb'. Now that's the nice way. If you don't want to do that then just point blankly tell these people they are not to come around during your meal times period. And with the old man going through your cupboards, smack his hand and say NO!! lol.....sorry to make light of it but it just seems like everyone is taking full advantage of you! Put your foot down. Let them knock....ignore them eventually they'll get the message!

Good luck!

Answer 2

"When I was a kid, we had this same problem with a neighbor lady. She always showed up at dinner time. At the time we had a very spoiled poodle. He wouldn't eat his "doggie candies" unless they were in the candy dish on the counter in the kitchen. This one day, the neighbor saw them and helped her self to some. After she eat them my mother told her she just ate the dog candy, she stopped coming around so much after that. You have a big problem. I think if I were you, I would just get pissed and tell them all off. Most of us are on a food budget now a days. Tell them this is your "family" time and you would appreciate them not coming so much. You could also tell them if they want to help buy groceries, you would be glad to cook dinner for everyone ONE night a week. Your kids shouldn't have to go with out because of them. Good Luck. Get assertive...it is your house and you family! Ignore the door! I am rooting for you!

Answer 3

call the police!
or...
make your house reek tell your family not to wash for a few days and then make your house really messy and put on a scene where your kids are fighting (play fighting) and then have a raging argument with your husband and then serve dinners that aren't cooked properly but make sure you family don't really eat it because it could be unhealthy and then that should scare them away if anything if that doesn't work then you are stuck or phoning the police and get a restraining order!

Answer 4

Not a fun situation -- sorry to hear about it!

The best approach rather depends on how much you'd like to keep these folks coming around...but not taking advantage of your hospitality by eating you out of house and home.

If you'd like to keep them coming around, I like the idea of stating that a given night each week is going to be a family-only night, and gradually adding more nights until you're down to one visitor-night per week. But if you're going to do this, do it *ahead* of time, warning people that Wednesdays are now homework night...Fridays are family movie night...Mondays are rip-on-the-neighbors night...the week *before* that custom is begun.

Alternatively, start announcing pot-luck nights...and telling folks that on those nights, you look forward to sharing the dishes that *they* bring! That might get people realizing how much time and resources of yours are being consumed. And if not...you can make those pot-luck nights much, much more frequent. ;)

Another thing you can do is add something to the place settings at your table to earmark each one for one of your family members. Make them obvious -- like a child's craft project. Only the densest (or rudest) visitors will assume, then, that the places you've set are for them to usurp...and you'll have an easy 'excuse' to tell them, "Oh, sorry...you're sitting in Billy's place!".

On a somewhat less friendly note, I'd personally be sorely tempted to place a 'tips' jar on the counter, and put notes on each cupboard asking all visitors to contribute for the food resources they consume, as those are needed to keep your family fed. If they think you're tacky for doing this...(a) does it really matter what people like that think, and (b) they're only upset because you're shedding light on the tackiness *they* display in taking advantage of you.

Also, consider getting a packet of post-it notes, and putting notes reading "Family use only, please" on foodstuffs that you have earmarked for your family. If they find this rude...what the heck were they doing in your cupboard, anyway?

I'm afraid, though, that getting their behavior to stop will take some firmness on your part...that, or you'll have to hide all the food...and tell everyone who stops by that you've heard that that well-to-do older man has a well-stocked pantry!

Best of luck with this...

Answer 5

You just have to put your foot down. I know how rude people can be, but this is ridiculous. They are taking advantage of your good nature. I would definitely tell the snack foraging guy he was outta line and needed to stop.
My neighbor has a son who is very obnoxious and I finally told him one day, "listen, I am tired of your put-downs, nothing you say matters to me until you get some manners."
He was a jerk to my daughters also, and that is a no go bigtime for me!

Answer 6

You need to be more firm with your expectations from your family and friends. Tell them what time you eat and that they have to abide by these rules. Also, demand that they call before coming over or they will not be allowed in the house. Good luck

Answer 7

Tell them to not come over to dinner anymore, as you like to spend quality time with your children. Don't let them come in, they're being extremely rude. Maybe you can leave a sign on your front door saying "Soup Kitchen, ___ _____St. Looking for volunteer tasters!"

Answer 8

Tell them you will no longer feed them since they have been taking advantage of you. Then lock the doors, pull the curtains and ignore them (as hard as that will be). They will get the idea soon enough.

Answer 9

eat dinner early and serve liver...when its time for them to show up.. or something that you know they wont like... or as soon as they come in ask them for money because you are ordering pizza..dont let them in and call the police..... answer the door but dont let them in... tell them you are sorry but its not a good time..they should call first..... and if they insist... call the police....♥

Answer 10

are your really serious? if you are then you need to open your door and tell them that you are busy and they may not come in. then close the door.
if they do not get the message then you are dealing with a group of disturbed people.