Losing Friends As You Get Older?

Question

Have you lost any friends since you got married / settled down etc?

I had loads of friends when I was single, but since I got a girlfriend and eventually a wife we parted ways. Its no biggie but I do kinda miss a few beers etc with the lads.

I'm only 26, is it normal to lose friends when you settle down? The only friend I have now is my wife, I have work mates but we're not that close, its strictly business.

Answer 1

yeah it happens to all of us

Answer 2

it is normal as we grow up we sometimes outgrow our mates it is just a sad fact of life, however when we meet the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with i think we are all guilty of not looking after the friendships that we valued, people dont take this too well particularly if they are the friend that was left behind. it is possible to have both, my god life would be so boring without good friends, we have to have something other than "the other half" if your past friendships are too severed to rebuild then make a concerted effort to make new friends, ask the lads out for a beer or too watch the footie, (england play wednesday, assuming you are indeed english....great opportunity!!!!) and watch the friendships grow, i do think its harder for a guy but not impossible, branch out and tell your wife to do the same, if i read you correctly i bet she has her circle of friends still, you just have to make those first tentative steps, good luck and hope you enjoy a cold beer wednesday with the lads from work.

Answer 3

I hear where you're coming from.I think it's all about making the effort,we change and grow as we get older and Best Friends may become more distant,for instance a good friend of mine got married had kids and then her social group changed, as she met mums etc. through taking the kids to nursery. She then moved away to France.I still keep in contact with her and will visit her in 2 weeks, after not seeing her for a year. I now consider her as an old friend, which I think is more special than a best friend.

Answer 4

I too had lots of mates before I settled down. I look at my life compared to a couple of years ago and its competley different. I was always out with my mates, down the pub or on random adventures.

I think its natural to loose mates as your life changes, everyone changes and evolve into different people. I bet if you bumped into some of your old mates now, you'd not click with them the way you did coz you have different life experiances which change you into different people.

I wouldn't worry about it coz along the way, you and your partner will meet new people who you click with and who will become both of your friends.

I have a completely different set of mates now than I did a few years ago, whats nice is they are our friends so there is no sittin there feeling like a lemon.

My advice - go drink in a different pub with your partner, play pool, get chatting to the locals and make mates together!

Answer 5

there is little or no difference between a 31 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and a 27 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. there's a extensive difference between 21 and 17. multiple issues exchange in those few years. To me, it is not with regards to the age difference, or the sexual determination. that is approximately being 17. that is by way of fact a 17 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous wouldn't have intercourse, and a 21 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous ought to have intercourse. i will supply you that 17 is on the sting. i do no longer recognize Wisconsin rules, yet in maximum states 17 is of criminal consent. She's sufficiently previous to renowned what she's doing, and your no longer doing emotional harm. Legally, i think of your ok. Morally, that is form of a tie. In a tie, i'd supply the nod to the mummy. mom is conscious superb.

Answer 6

You don't lose them as friends, it's just your priorities change, and you move direction with work, and find new goals and interests. You grow up, you move on. Your main life is with the person with whom you wish to share it. Surely you are still in touch with a few people? Give them a call to ask them how they are doing, as you haven't spoken for a while. Organise a get-together. You will probably find that some of them have a girlfriend who they are serious about!

Answer 7

call some of ur old mates, and ur best mate etc, arrange a friday night out when u all have money, and catch up, you don't have to do it every week, sometimes, you find u have more to talk about when you don't see each other every week, u may have parted but u haven't fallen out so chances are they will be glad to hear from you, and if they don't at least u know who ur mates are. and when ur at work, try getting to know ur colleagues better and when ur coming out of work one friday, casually suggest a beer, if they say no, you won't look silly, because it just breezy right?

Answer 8

I've found the same thing. I'm 25 and only ever seem to hang out with other couples now. A lot of my singIe friends think I don't want to be invited out any more. I have fond memories of drunken girls nights out but they don't happen any more. I think it's a natural progression but we should make the effort to get new friends and still have a laugh without our other halves!!

Answer 9

I have lost all my friends. I have work relationships, just like you do, but it's never anything more than work chatter. I am 31 and sometimes wonder how I used to have so many fiends and now I have none.

It's because we focus on our spouse, they become our best friend and they become out one and only interest, then come the kids and the bills, we let out friends go because life has caught up with us. It happens and it;s normal.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I think this is normal, as with every phase of life goes phases of friends. As the quality of life changes (or style) so does your group of friends I don't think it's out of the ordinary at all. I have the same issue as you I have workmates and my best friend in my fiance.

You should still have groups of friends that you can go out and socialize with to break the monotany, that's how we've survived.

Answer 11

Yep it happens, you lose a few friends as you go through life but you will make new ones to take their place. We all change as we get older and drift apart from people. Dont worry about it, thats just the way it is.