I have been watching my grandson for 10 years ,so that her and her and her husband could work.I now want to do something else with my life,like travel,get out and meet new people,get a part time job just so Im not bored etc.iI dont think shes at all happy about this.She wants me to still live here so that I can take care of what she needs,childcare,maybe a little money now and then.I dont want go make her sound bad so look at this with a open mind but do I have a moral obligation to my daughter.With the families breaking up like it is in this country,I dont want to think I am contributing to it
2007-03-26 05:36:03 · 21 answers · asked by dlbonhomme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have been taken advantage of lady. The only problem you should be worried about is the bond you have with this child which I bet is a mother/child bond and more than what he has with his own mother. Simply tell them you are moving out and maintain a relationship with this grandson so he does not feel abandoned. You have no moral obligation to be a babysitter to your daughter and it will not be your fault with her marriage breaks apart. If she didn't want the responsibility of a child she should have got a cat.
2007-03-26 05:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to live your life as you see fit. You raised your children already and have no obligation to raise the grandchildren too. Go and travel and live before you not able.
Be candid and tell your daughter you love them very much, but need to get out on your own. Keep in touch and spoil the grand kids when you can.
Loving family is important and so is your independence, find balance in both.
Good luck.
2007-03-26 05:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been a great mother for 10 years.... and very helpful. Speaking for myself, i'm too "selfish" to give up ten years to babysit for free, even if it's a grandchild... and i'm 50 years old. Not that i don't love my grandchild, and i do babysit her from time to time, but i've already raised a family, and she is not my responsibility.
YOUR happiness is important and it's critical to take care of YOU, too.
Please make choices for YOU. If you have the urge to explore the world, do new things and expand your horizons, please do!
Your daughter is going to have to realize you have a life too, and you have the right to live it!
You said - "she wants me to still live here so i can take care of what she needs, childcare....." She NEEDS to find another source of childcare now that you are making other plans.... she is apparently an adult, so i think she can manage.
You've done your part.
all the best ! have fun! you DESERVE it!
2007-03-26 05:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have raised your child, and hers for 10 years. It is time for her AND her husband to raise their own child. If they don't start now, this child will be an adult soon...... You have done more than your moral or motherly obligation to your family, and you should receive the highest praise for that. But if you do not follow your heart and live the rest of your life for you....then that is not fair to you. And if you stay, and enable your daughter and son-in-law to be "professionals" and not the parents that they are... well then that is not fair to them OR your grandson. You have paid your dues..... now live the life that you have earned and deserve!!! Good Luck!!
2007-03-26 05:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by bossfemale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done more than enough to help out. Now, it's time for you to enjoy a life of your own. If you decide to change your lifestyle, this should in no way cause a breakup in your daughter's family. She and her husband will simply have to make other arrangements for the care of their son, which should not be a problem, considering his age. Best wishes!
2007-03-26 05:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have raised your children and because she has a job and is a good parent, you did a good job. However, your job is done. Grandparents do not need to raise and babysit their grandchildren.
Being a grandparent should be fun and a blessing. Not a job, and she shouldn't be using you to babysit for her. She can find a daycare...
I for one enjoy it when my mother watches the children, however I want her to enjoy her free time and life.. she has earned the right to relax a little. It is my job to find daycare for my children, not hers.
You live your life, and suggest that your daughter finds a daycare for the kids.. If you want to help, tell her you will watch them if they are sick and cannot go to daycare or in emergency situations.
You deserve some free time, you earned it!
2007-03-26 05:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by Steffi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a baby sitter. You are a father/mother and a grandpa/grandma. Don't be afraid to tell your daughter that you are done doing her a favor. Life is short, enjoy it while you can. If she gets upset then she is being selfish. You've looked and cared for her for many years and now your grandson, it's time for you to enjoy your life...
2007-03-26 05:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely go out and enjoy your life...you will have the bond with your grandson forever...but it is time to go on your own. He is her responsibility...you do not have a moral obligation and are in no way breaking up your family. Please don't have guilt. Good luck and have fun!
2007-03-26 05:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your obligation to your daughter broke when she moved out of the house. It is now the responsibility of your daughter and her husband to take care of themselves and their son. What you do for them from now on is from the kindness of your heart. It's always ok to help family but, sometimes you'd have to push them out of the nest to really help them. As the saying goes: It's better to teach how to fish than to do the fishing for them. They need to learn responsibility and how to take care of themselves. It will be a bit rough for everyone for a while but, hard-times will strengthen an individual or group.
2007-03-26 05:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by slobberknocker_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman, you have to live your own life! Time for you to tell your daughter that she needs to find a new child-minder, and you need to re-assert yourself into finding things that YOU want to do. Your only moral obligation is to love your daughter and grandchild -- you do not have to care for her child or give her money. She has her own life to live, and so do you.
2007-03-26 05:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋