I'm helping or hurting him in the long run?

Question

I had a very close friend of mind and her boyfriend got married just a little over a year ago. The 3 of us were great friends and did a lot together. Well after she got married she changed. And she lied on me and had her future brotherinlaw verbally attach me on her lies. So let say I’m not her friend anymore, but her husband and I are very close and he is asking her for a divorces now. My brother(his friend too) and I where getting him out of the house and trying to help him through this hard time, but as of lately his been acting different to me. He calls just to see how I am and looks at me differently. He now tells me he has dreams about me and makes sure he right next to me all the time when we go out. And is lying to his wife that he not out with me just my bro.(and we have never been alone) And has to get off the phone when she comes home. If I keep being his friend is this hurting him or his devoices? We are not doing anything but his is asking like we are when it come to her. Help

Answer 1

What your friend did was lying but what he is doing is bigamy with getting his wife's friend in the picture.Do not prolong this relationship as it is going to hurt you and himSmall lies can be digested but by helping him you re only getting him closer to you!Why man always look up to the wives friend as their soulmate when they can get someone else.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is just be a friend to him. Just make sure you set boundaries. This is probably a very hard time on him. He may be vulnerable and looking for some companionship. Just make sure he knows that now is not the time to even think of starting a new relationship. Even if you are interested, he's got a divorce to worry about. In the end, I'm sure he'll value you unconditional friendship.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Well if your former friend, finds out that he has feelings for you, you could be hurting him in the long run, the best thing to do, is to back off, no matter how hard that is for you to do.
I have been in a simular situation, and a friend told me to back off, and I didn't want to at all. I felt as if she was trying to break my heart in two, but I did listen to her reluctantly, and things workded out for the "greater good" and all is at peace now and life couldn't be better for me, so I am glad to give this advise to you. Its not like you have to back off forever, just until the divorce is finalized, depending on your state it could take about 3 months. I know thats a long time, but believe me, it will work out for the better!

Answer 5

I think you should distance yourself until his divorce is final. It seems to me that he is showing quite an interest in you and if his wife thinks he is having an affair then she can sue him for adultery. The fact that you are her ex-friend just gives her more reason to do it. If you value your friendship with her husband, you need to step back. Tell him honestly that you want to distance yourselves just until the divorce is final. Tell him that you want it that way for his best interest and explain why.

Answer 6

Don't get involve!! Let them deal with their problems first and if he wants to get with you...then go for it. Their problem has not been resolved and if you get involved now...she will...repeat she will think that you stole her husband. Why do you want to be stuck in the middle of this craziness? If you like him...just wait until everything has been sort out.

Answer 7

This is tough because you guys are close. I think if you don't like him tell him straight up. If you do like him I think you should really talk things over. I think you should have any thing with him because of your closeness you use to have with the wife.

Answer 8

He is still married & so anything he's doing with you or thinking of doing with you is wrong.

There are so many other men in the world why get involved with this one.

Answer 9

stay out of it until he is completely legally divorced...that way u will know for a fact that u did not cause this or in any way interfere....

Answer 10

maybe he married the wrong one. seems to me that he likes you but you should watch yourself because she seems to be jealous. stay away from him for a while and see what happens.