last week my 10yr old niece was doing a sleepover at our house, my wife found a valentine card in her math book that was writen and never given out. the card was to another girl in her classroom, it read,,,i love you, please kiss me, i wish you knew who i was, kiss me please, be my valentine. my wife confronted her about the card and after a moment of embarrasment my niece stated that she has known the girl since 3rd grade and has been attracted to her for over a year but is too embarrased to say anything. she also admitted to fooling around (touching) with another girl (neighbor) during sleepovers. she apparently also touches herself often while thinking og girls and watching girls on television. this girl comes from a very loving and supportive environment and has a normal homelife i need help on the following questions. please....is it normal for her to be thinking of sex so much at her age ? is she really gay or just curious ? should we inform her mother ? is her activity unsafe ?
2007-03-26 05:23:45 · 6 answers · asked by Factual52 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I wouldn't rule anything out, because everyone is different. I don't believe that people become gay at a certain age, I just think they come to the realization that they are gay at a certain age. It could be that since homosexuality is much more accepted now than it has been in the past, that your niece understands the idea of homosexuality or feels more comfortable with the idea of it. I am gay and didn't realize it until sometime in junior high. However, girls do mature faster than boys, so it is entirely possible that she might be attracted to this girl. Despite the fact that I'm gay, I am no expert on the subject. Your niece's parents might want to consider talking to a psychiatrist about this, but I would not involve the little girl. I think that would be too much for her to deal with.
2007-03-26 06:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, let's address your statement, "this girl comes from a very loving and supportive environment and has a normal homelife"... what exactly is that supposed to mean? That gay people only come from unhealthy environments and from unsupportive parents? Simply not true, and a rather ignorant statement.
Secondly, a girl in 5th grade is probably in the 10-12 age range. Although sexual experimentation/curiousity (wether directed at kids of the same OR opposite sex) among children is perfecly normal. However, given this particular child's obviously strong feelings towards the other girl, I would venture to say it's likely she is indeed gay.
I would say that it is not your place to inform her mother about the situation. I'm sure that if this girl is dealing with the homosexual tendencies she is feeling, that she is already deling with some pretty heavy issues internally. Also, if you had found the card, and it was addressed to a boy, you obviously wouldn't be making a big deal about it. Being homosexual is not an abnormality, not a disease, and cannot be cured. If this girl feel it is necessary to tell her mother that she is gay, she will do so when SHE feels it is necessary.
I hope that your confrontation with her about this subject has not damaged her already... I'm sure she's having a hard enough time sorting out all these feelings herself. She certainly doesn't need an adult in her life making her feel like she's doing something wrong or that she is sick.
2007-03-26 15:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by pceej 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She is gay. She is ten years old. Her desired for another girl is avious. If she had the desired for a boy it will happend with a boy. It's totally normal for a child that age to be thinking about sex. Seems to me that she has already experience some sexual touching. That feels good to her. And she will do it again. My best advise for her now to be open with her and tell her what is out there. STD HIV and so forth. Got to have her to be your best friend that way she can be totally honest with you. Whitch it already seems like it. Be supportive and acknoledge that she is gay. Don't make the mistake of being gay is wrong. Let her find for herself what she likes or don't. Only time will tell wether she is gay or not.
2007-03-26 18:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by great_latinboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids learn far too young today,thanks to the media and our relaxed state of morality. apparently all of her activities are with girls of her own age. i believe that she is just experimenting around. i truly doubt that she even knows what she is doing, she probably thinks kissing and touching is how girls make love. this may be just a phase she is going through. maybe she feels unattractive to boys or was intrigued by a conversation she heard somewhere or something she saw in a public place. its up to you if you want to tell her parents, if you do she is going to feel betrayed by your wife and may never confide in her again. i would give it a while and see.
2007-03-26 13:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids go through stages in their early kidhood. most out grow it. But there are those who know from a very young age that they are gay, str8, bisexual, etc.... I knew when I was 6 yr old which I was.
2007-03-26 22:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by davidmshuler 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get her to therapy before this becomes a problem.
2007-03-26 14:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋