My sister is temporarily seperated from her husband of 12 years. She wants to take it day by day. Her husband is nutorious for playing mind games and making her feel horrible, his new game is to tell her that the children will only be calling him when they need something. She left so she doesn't need to be bothered by them. He is trying to make her feel crappy about her decision and it is working. What can she do? Her children are her world and only left them at their house so they would not have to be up rooted. She only went to our mothers which is only 6 miles from the kids. She is scared that the father is going to ruin the awesome relationship with the children --12 (boy), 9(girl), 8(boy). What advice can I give her? She is doing the right thing trying to get her head on straight, but he is making it so much worse.
2007-03-26 05:15:32 · 12 answers · asked by Kat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all she left because our parents live close by and he had no where to go. She was trying to be a bigger person. As for the children she didn't want to rip them out of the house they have their own rooms in and move them into Moms house where they would have to sleep on the floor. She never dreamed that he would pull this card. As for the mind games he only plays them with her. Thanks for the serious inquires.
2007-03-26 06:39:54 · update #1
I suggest having your sister get an attorney immediately. It is what is best for the children. Boundaries need to be set through the courts since this guy is so evil, he reminds me of my ex husband. Get an attorney right away! It is only going to get worse for her and the kids and better for him. He can say your sister abandoned the children even though she didn't. Good luck.
2007-03-26 05:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean a temporary separation? She already knows she is going back to the marriage? Tell her to go home and start working on the issues. Her children need her there and leaving them behind was not the right decision. She has to put their needs before her own.
It sounds like she is playing mind games, too. The children are the ones getting hurt. Tell her to grow up.
2007-03-26 05:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all she has to talk to a lawyer. Then i think she'll find a way to talk to her children and tell her that no matter how she feels, she must never say a bad thing to the kids for their father. that will help them understand she's as good as they thought and knew and not what the father says. Kids are smarter than we think, the understand things even we don't. Tell her to be calm when with them, and things will work out well. Good luck
2007-03-26 05:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by helena_m_p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should let him know she doesn't want to get into a dispute over this, or drag the kids through any kind of battle. Then specify her wants. If she wants the kids, she should let him know.
If they cannot come to an agreement alone, she should go to court and take whatever she wants. She would prbably wind primary custody of the children and visitation rights for him.
2007-03-26 06:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful that he doesn't play the abandonment card, since she is the one who moved out. She needs to get with a lawyer quick since he sounds like a snake in the grass and will no doubt pull out all the stops to make her look bad.
2007-03-26 05:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably been telling the kids bad things about their mother. He plays off mental abuse. This is extremely damaging to children.
She needs an attorney ASAP.
He cannot keep her away from the kids.....unless....he gets an attorney and lies. (he can make the kids lie in his favor)
EDIT:
I'd be too scared to leave my kids there.
I'd die worrying about their well-being.
2007-03-26 05:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bonnie Lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANY parent that uses kids this way needs to not be around them. She is right to be concerned. Kids can be brainwashed into thinking that one parent is all good and the other all bad if they have a selfish parent that would do this to them. Its emotional child abuse.
2007-03-26 05:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by J D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number one: Why did she leave without the kids? Sorry but I blame her. She's going to leave a bad situation but leave the kids in it? Talk about thinking about one's self.
2007-03-26 05:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by madbaldscotsman 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is actually better for people to stand up on their feet and fight their own battles and, in this case, ask their own questions. If this woman needs help, encourage her to ask for it herself.
2007-03-26 05:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney
2007-03-26 05:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by shania3949 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋