I'd like to know about interfaith marriages?

Question

what are the ups and downs of a married couple who have different religions. Please feel free to write as much as you like. I don't mind some websites either...

Answer 1

I am going to give you my opinion about it.

To me, religion is a waste of time. But I do not go around forcing anybody to think like me. We are all free to do what we want, as long it doesn’t interfere with the law.

We are free to choose and practice any religion (again, as long it doesn’t interfere with the law), and the key here is to respect each others, and never try to force anybody into your religion or your way of thinking.

The best religion to follow is common sense and practice love towards your family, friends, and everybody if possible, why not?

If you want to marry a person that practices a different religion, you both should sit down, and talk about it. If you both agree that religion is not an issue for your love, then it should be fine. If you both respect each other, then you can respect what you believe and don’t get in the middle.

Of course, this is assuming each of you want to keep their own religion and don’t convert. The key there is to learn to sacrifice a little bit your own religion so the other person can be happy with you, and vice versa.

If you two can be open minded, and learn what love really is, then religion should not be a problem at all. There are many things more important in a family than religion. And priorities must be set. Don’t forget that after you marry, you and your husband are now head of a new family, and what you do, will affect the family as well.

Good luck.

Answer 2

What could be the ups??? If it didn't matter, you wouldn't ask, so obviously, it's an important issue for you. In 5 or 10 years, after you've had kids, etc., then find yourself in the middle of a bad marriage, you'll realize that compatibility matters, where religion can be a key factor. How do spouses truly respect each other, if core faith and beliefs are contrary? After the infatuation has worn off, it could be a formula for divorce. At least enjoy living together for a few years before you decide on anything. No rush, right?

Answer 3

it used to be in my faith that say I married a guy who was not my faith that he would have to promise that he'd raise any kids of the marriage in my faith. I don't know that they make people promise that anymore. But if you have religion and so does your family and the other person is some other religion or has none, then that other person might not want to attend family functions, or get up for church on the required day, or have totally different morals and values than you do. The main things people who are married argue about today are money and kids, so if you're two different religions be assured you will have arguments over the kids (schools, beliefs, etc.) and how they are raised, so expect a divorce.

Answer 4

I'm in the same situation....for 6 years. We plan to marry this year. But when our parents met to discusss...well they didn;t totally agree with each other. For example I'm Orthodox and he's Adventist of 7th day. We dance at the wedding, they don't. We drink champagne they don't. anything.
So his father when he left from the meeting with my parents told me that anyway somebody will get upset. He would rather see me or my parents upset.
Me and my boyfriend decided to marry on our own religion. LOVE. The ceremonial religious marriage we will make it at the seaside on the beach, dressed like groom and bride, with no stress and some friend.The parents r invited if they wanna come. But neither of hem will get upset with each other. There R some big differences between these 2 religions but we still found the middle way. And God IS everywhere so He Himself will join our lives forever.

Answer 5

Well, in some cases...it doesn't matter...like if a protestant is marrying a Presbyterian...there isn't any issue over it and the beliefs aren't all that different...the only place i can think off of the top of my head...is if one person is catholic/ roman catholic/ orthadox...etc...both of the persons intending to marry, have to be baptized of that faith...SO if you...a protestant...wanted to marry a Greek Orthodox (this is just an example) and that person wanted the wedding to be held in a Greek Orthodox church with the priest officiating the wedding...then you would have to be baptized into the Greek Orthodox church and change your religious views.......not easy to do. However if you were just planning on being married by...oh say...a Presbyterian minister...then there would be no issues besides the counselling...and you wouldn't have to get baptized into anything..........so i guess it all depends which 2 religions you are trying to put together......If either of you are strongly religious...and of different faiths...then it is difficult....i mean...what church are you going to go to??????

Answer 6

Me and my ex-wife were of different religions - I am from an Irish/Polish Roman Catholic family (my grandmother said if I ever become a protestant she would chase me down and rip out my heart with her bare hands, and she at 70 would probably done just that) and my ex-wife was Thai Buddhist. We never had any religion problems, she went to church with the family a few times and I went to the Thai temple a few times and it was always friendly and pleasant. Incidentally my grandmother got along with her just fine, especially after she went with her to Midnight mass. My grandmother's best friend was a jewish lady close to her age that lives down the street - I guess it is only protestant heretics that are all going to hell in her book...

I do not think things would have gone so well if she was protestant (especially one of the radicial versions like born again type or jehovahs witness or something odd like that). In many families like mine religion is an important part of our ethnic hertiage, old established national religions often do not conflict in marriage if you live in a colony and 2nd or 3rd generation. Though it may be a different story between a muslim and hindu family in India. I will likely not have any problem marrying another buddhist girl , an indian hindu, a jewish girl or a even muslim girl from Malaya or a girl that was from Iranian family that escaped from Iran and did not require me to convert; nor would my family have a problem with her (unless she did not respect our traditions). Now that my grandmother passed away to heaven (where I am sure she did not find any of those evil protestants!), a Swedish Lutheran, Scottish Episcopalian or Afrikaner Dutch Reformed girl would likely be just fine too.

Certain radicalized versions of religions just do not mix well with others and whether a religion is followed out of tradition or active choice matters too.

Answer 7

What an open question --- I'll try to give you two points of view from my family. I have five siblings. Three of us sisters married men of our same faith and ethnic heritage (in our case, the two are mostly tied together). What happens in all cases is that there is total unity - of how to raise the children, of how to practice the faith, of general morals and values in the family. Children of those parents are practicers of their faith, and those married have continued that.
Two marriages were of someone from different faiths - and trouble ensued. Not sure of how to raise the children, either religion done just for "show" or to please grandparents, no real moral compass to guide them. Children of these parents are for the most part without guidance in faith, which transfers to not great kids generally.
Before marrying, or getting engaged, or even dating seriously, couples need to really talk things out about religion and raising children - what they want, what they expect, etc. It's really, truly important.

Answer 8

I guess it depends how much religion matters to both people. A non-practicing muslim with a non-practicing catholic wouldn't be problematic.

But if you go to church every sunday and your husband does not, and disagrees with your beliefs, well, that's one less thing you will share in your couple, and one or the other will constantly be trying to convert the other person, and what will you teach the children???

Answer 9

From personal experience, they rarely work. This is one of those fundamental relationship issues that can break a relationship; maybe not now, but at some point it will rear it's ugly head. My ex-wife and I even agreed to some things beforehand, but later on I regretted making those decisions and recanted. You have to be true to yourself before you can be true to other people.
Try www.beliefnet.com

Answer 10

My husband is Southern Baptist and I'm an atheist, so for 10 years we have had to agree to disagree on the way we are going to raise the kids religion wise.
The biggest issue is that he wants us to all go to church and I will not go, but have told him that i am more than happy for him to take the kids when he goes. For us that is the only issue