I want to divorce my husband. He's not cheating on me, he's not abusing me. He treats me well and we get along great. We've been married for almost 9 months and I feel the marriage was a mistake and I want out. Before we got married we both agreed we didn't believe in divorce. I guess the only problem is our age difference. I'm 24 and he's 46. I also feel trapped in this marriage and I fell out of love with him and when it comes to sex I have issues having sex with him. My question is I would like to get out of this marriage but I don't know how? Also is there a way I can frame my husband and make it look like he's cheating so it looks like he's the bad guy? If there is a way to frame him and make it look like he's cheating how and what would I need to do?
2007-03-26 04:54:19 · 16 answers · asked by bluesummerangel1982 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know for a fact that he wants to stay married cause he tells me everyday that he loves me and I say it back even though I don't feel it.
I just wish I knew of a way to get out of this marriage and make him look like the guilty party then I don't look bad.
2007-03-26 05:04:55 · update #1
I don't want any spousal support or anything from him. I just want out.
2007-03-26 05:06:32 · update #2
You haven't been married a year, so get it annulled. Don't try to frame him. It will only blow up in your face.
2007-03-26 05:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by pilotpat2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In 49 of the 50 states, there is "no fault divorce". New York (my state) is the only state in the union where you still have to prove fault to get divorced. Everywhere else, all you have to do is say you have "irreconsilable differences" and that's it.
So you don't have to 'frame' him or any sleazy underhanded stuff like that.
Even in New York, the hardest state to get a divorce in, the sexual incompatiblity thing would be more than enough!
And even if your state has strict divorce laws, due to the "full faith and credit" clause in the Constitution, a divorce in any state will be recognized in the other 49. So you could always go to Nevada and get a quickie divorce, and your state will recognize it!
So go on and get that divorce!
2007-03-26 05:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask for a divorce on the grounds of Irreconcilable Differences. Obviosuly you are unhappy and if you explain this to your (GOOD) divorce lawyer, she will be able to tell you your options. Someone doesn't have to be a cheater or an abuser to be divorced. Unhappiness and an ill-fit make just as strong of a case.
Good luck and do what you feel is best for YOU!
2007-03-26 04:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Kristy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will be hard for you to have husband 22 years older than you. Take things easy. If you think you will not be happy in long run and you believe you could not get him to change, then you might want to file to divorce. But he might want to change a bit if you show that you don't like him. It is ultimately up to you for final decision.
2007-03-26 11:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by james t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a terrible person for trying that. You've got a good man, and you want to make him the bad guy? Grow the f*** up! Try real hard to act like a grownup, high school's over. Tell him you're unhappy. Divorce him, HE deserves better than you.
2007-03-26 05:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by Chris S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to frame him when in your words he is not cheating on you or abusing you? why would you want to do that to what seems to be a nice person? that is wrong..
Marriage takes work it is not alwasy easy and you are very new in your marriage at times we all feel the need to get out and even feel we are not ready like we may have thought. it can be scarry to feel this way.
I would look at how you felt before you married him, did you love him, were you happy with him and so on??? if the answers are yes then try to find what changed and talk to him.. also try counseling you may find it helps.. if I were you I would not just give up so easy with out trying to work on the marriage and your feelings.. The grass is NOT always greener on the other side it is hard to find a guy or even girl who is a good life partner and you may find if you leave that you will regret just that leaving someone so good..
Age difference should have nothing to do wiht it, I know many people that one person is much older then the other and they get along great.. maybe you are unsure of why you feel this way and are just using the age thing as an excuse????
as for the sex, well many reasons can come to mind for having isssues since you did not state what those issues are I can not try to give advice but you shold think what they are and talk to someone, if you find you have no sex drive period there can be a hormonal thing you may need to get taken care of..
You may feel like you feel out of love with him but then again that could all be because of the underlying issues you have and you really are in love with him but do not feel like it because of unresolved issues,, I am not sure.
My advice is for now since it is a very new marriage try to find what is actually the problem or problems and work on fixing them. Do not just run away from this marriage yet without actually working on it first. After that if you still feel like you do then leave but leave in a way you can hold your head up, do not trap this person to make it look like it is his fault that is ignorant and imature. You are old enough to do the right thing and if leaving then be honest with him and then leave, tell him the truth and do not make him into the bad person just so you look like the good guy.
Leaving is never easy but trying to set another up to look like it is all their fault is just wrong..
anyway, work on your marriage you are both new in this marriage and it is natural to have doubts.. you at one point had to love him so what was it that you fell in love with , what made you and even him happy? is it still there if not find out why and try to get those things back so you both can be happy..
If it just cant happen after you really have tired then be honest and just leave but do it the adult way not by using him as a escape goat..
good luck
2007-03-26 05:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to frame him, unless you're thinking of ripping him off. Just go and file for a divorce with "irreconcilable differences" listed as the reason. And talk to him first - he may be feeling the same as you.
2007-03-26 04:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You either must be hiding something or i have no idea, why woul dyo marry a guy if you didnt love him, or didnt think you would want to spend the rest of you life with him...?
All i can say is just tell him how you are feeling and if he loves you like he says he does he will agree to your request, good luck
2007-03-26 05:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by Mamma in the making 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you thinking of " FRAMING" this "GOOD" man? He is not abusing you and he is not CHEATING on you! You are plotting against him saying you wan't to " FRAME" him to make him look like he is cheating on you? Why do you wan't to ruin this poor man's reputation for? You said you fell out of love with him and wan't to divorce him, so go ahead and DIVORCE him and leave this poor man alone! Women like you get a good man who is not beating the **** out of you and not cheating on you, and you leave them! Better pray that the next " YOUNG MAN" you fall inlove with is not gonna CHEAT and ABUSE you! You sound like a very EVIL young woman! God have mercy on you!
2014-09-09 16:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha Damian Weatherhead 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not just act like an adult and take responsibility for the mistake you have made and be done with it??
Why would you want to make him look bad when he has done nothing wrong?
I think if you "try" to frame him you will end up looking like more of an idiot.
2007-03-26 05:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Kristal E 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋