What's really bothering her?

Question

My husband's ex who he has two children with seems to be having some issues with him that I'm not really sure where they are coming from..When we were just dating it didn't seem to be much of a problem of her letting him see the children, but then it became a problem with her and he wasn't aloud to see them for over 6 months. Mind you, she has been in several relationships since her and my husband have been together. Matter of fact she's had two children since then. He told me she sounds very bitter when she has to call him concerning the children. Is it because he is now married. Is it because they were still messing around before he got married or is it because she knows that by him getting married he has moved on? What's really going on?

Answer 1

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said she was bitter......sounds like to her, it's okay if she has moved on but becomes unreasonably upset now that he has too.

I would just try to stick to the arrangement and have as little to do with her as possible. She will undoubtedly use whatever ammunition she can to try and start trouble.

Answer 2

My spouses ex is having problems lately. Since we have had our baby, and settled down.

She had a "talk" with him on Sunday. And apparently she doesnt like me parenting the kids. She wants to be the mother and no one else. And she has issues with me. Fortunately for me, they have it fixed by a judge, and he told her to ******* bad.

My spouses ex, is a complete control freak, that calls every day when the kids are here, and tries to take them out all the time during our time, and we never have them without her interferring. So if I actually had a decent relationship with her. Or if it wasnt fixed by the judge, and I wanted my spouse to see his kids.

I would call her up, and tell her that you just want to be your kids friend and not their mother. And she will always come first, no matter what, because she is their mother. And see if that changes things around a little bit.

The weird thing is, that when my spouse was unstable, meaning he didnt have a job, and his apartment was a mess, and everything she had no problem with us dating, but now that we settled down, have a house, and he has a good job, its like we are creating a new "family" and thats what I think freaks her out the most. Is that shes not the main person in control anymore. Its that we now have a family enviorment that shes not apart of.

Answer 3

She's bitter because he's moved on, just smile, it was her loss. Be aware though, she is pulling at his pity string. Just keep your marriage strong and interesting. She had a good man and she lost him. I'm pretty sure he would not even consider patching things up with her, especially because she now has two more children by someone else. You and your husband should only show interest in his children, not her drama of a life

Answer 4

i am a ex-wife of a newly married man and for me when they were dating it was no big deal he dated alot of girls some i liked some i didn't but it was none of my business to say the least so i never said a word but with the woman he married it made it different to me this woman was going to be a part of my children's lives so it changed i still like her we are friends but up front the ground rules were in place i am in a relationship too and the rules go both ways respect and the kids have 2 parents mom and dad and we work on things that the kids need its been a easy. i hope things work out for you all its hard to pull strangers together but when it works its great.

Answer 5

Not sure could be all the above. Depends on the person, but what puzzled me about his question is child visitation. Not sure where you are from but seeing that those are his kids she can not legally keep them away from him. Yes that means he would have to take her to court but my goodness its his kids. They need their father and I can't believe that he has allowed her to keep them away for six months. Thats insane. Even if child support isnt paid as to date she has no right in keeping their children from him. He needs to hire a lawyer. Crazy.

My boyfriend has a child from his ex girlfriend. They finally did the paternity test and were suppose to go to court last Wednesday. His ex girlfriend has kept his son away from him for the last four months. But marriage is different than girlfriends. Not sure what the outcome will be but her and her lawyer werent ready for court so they postponed it another week. They had 6 freakin months to get the paperwork done. I swear many states are not out for the father, they side with the mother. Best luck to you and your husband.

Answer 6

Trying to read someone else's mind is really hard but here it goes: Bitterness is a good indicator that she is unhappy with her self and her life. You and your husband have nothing to do with that although she may tell you otherwise. She has made some poor choices and is now living with the consequences and is unhappy about how her choices turned out, i.e., no new husband but 2 new kids.

That's my guess.

Answer 7

She is having anxiety over the fact that he has moved on. Your husband made one mistake....still messing around with his ex after breaking up. This only provided false hopes! Now she has had her cake and ate it, too, but has realized there is none left!

Answer 8

I would say it's because now she knows she can't get back with him. oh and by the way it he is paying child support she can't keep the children away, even if he is not he still can go get them anytime and there is nothing she can do. I know I've done it....

Answer 9

She is just jealous that he is happy and moved on, end of story. She wants him to be in the same boat she is with relationships and he moved on and is married.

Answer 10

she has issues.... it's not YOU, even though she seems to be bitter....

the way we treat others is normally a reflection of state-of-mind. she's likely miserable, with or without your existance.