How to start a family?

Question

I am 17 and want a big house husband and children but i want this now not for when i am older.
What can i do to make this happen where do i get money from? I sit sensible to get pregnant young? does it damage your body in anyway? Please help xx

Answer 1

I think you should first finish high school and then go for college education.
Life is lot complicated than you think .....girl.....

Leave out the big house, husband and children for couple of more years. Enjoy your youth while you can.

Answer 2

OMG PLEASE don't do that !! Having a baby/babies is hard work and being married is even harder at times ! I know when you are young the last thing you want to hear is someone older telling you "don't do this" or "you better do that" but believe me when I tell you - enjoy your youth as you have it. The rest will fall into place when it's meant to happen. If you make educated, logical decisions you may be better prepared to take on all you want in your future. Sorry - I know it's sounds like a lecture from an old miserable lady :) Don't mean it to be that way but you did ask ... Pregnancy does change your body but for alot of people it's not a bad thing. I have friends who went back to being very tiny after having babies. Think before you leap and good luck !

Answer 3

Why are you in such a rush? I mean no, it won't damage your body getting pregnant that young, but it will definitely stop you from living the life you're used to and it will be horrible to have to refuse all your friends when they go out clubbing and your stuck home with the baby.
Obviously I'm just guessing here, but I'm a little concerned that there is an underlying reason why you want to run away and start a family. I think if that is the case you need to deal sort out your life first before taking on the responsibility of another!

Answer 4

#1...EDUCATION. You can't make good money without one. It takes a lot of money to raise a child under stable and happy circumstances....and you want to be able to help your child with homework when they are in school!
#2...LOVE. You need a strong, intelligent, responsible and supportive man to be your partner in this journey....without one, life is much harder! Be picky.....don't settle for less. Your child deserves a good father, and if something should go wrong with the marriage...you will be connected to this person forever through your child, so choose wisely.

Don't be in such a rush! I was your age when I had my first child....I don't regret it at all, but I sure wish I would have waited! The father turned out to be a total *** and I was always broke. My oldest will soon be 13 and her brother is 10. I am now remarried to the ideal man. Responsible, intelligent, committed...and we have a brand new baby girl...My life is so much easier now that I am older and more stable. I get to stay home with my baby and life is WONDERFUL.
Just wait a while......enjoy your time while you are young and don't be in such a hurry. A child is a lifelong committment and if you love that child.....do what you can NOW to ensure that it will grow up well adjusted.
Finish school, go to college, get a good job, start saving money, find a good man, buy a house....then you will be ready for motherhood.

Answer 5

Getting pg at 17 will not damage your body, any more or less than getting pg at 20 or 25 or 30.
But if you get pg now, you are less likely to finish your education, and get a high paid job. So that big house might not be possible.
My advice, and I am sure you will get lots of conflicting views on here, would be to finish your education, and get a good degree. Enjoy being at university/college, and having the freedom to do what you want, when you want, which you can't with a child.
You don't say if you have a partner who feels the same way, until you meet him, enjoy yourself and have fun. Marriage and kids are great, but you don't want to do it too young, and later on resent not having had fun/career etc.

Answer 6

It can destroy your body. So many mums end up overweight, with back trouble, mild incontinence and lower self esteem (from stretchmarks, boobs down to your knees, wobbly bits etc).

If you have a partner with an average income (not even a low one) it will be difficult financially. Your money will be directed into babygrows, food, nappies etc. You will probably have to work too to get enough money and leave your children in someone elses care (I assume you want to raise kids yourself?). Paying rent, council tax, electricity, gas, water, sewerage etc has to come before days out and treats.

So basically... would you like to save and earn some money first for a few years and get to go on lovely hols with your kids, treat them and buy the odd really cute outfit BUT have kids later.

Or do you want to spend time now scrimping and saving, just about getting by and secretly begruding the fact you had kids early?

Please, please enjoy yourself while you're young. Go mad, travel, meet lots of new people. You've got loads of time to have kids in the future x

Answer 7

having a baby younger is actaully better 4 u did u kno? not saying go n get pregnant now tho!! mind. think ur sensible enuf not 2. u say u want the husband n house, is this b4 u hav kids? i was like u, determind 2 hav a stable n safe environment 2 bring a child up in, but im 20, living with the ex's parents (complcated) and the babys dads buggered off b4 shes evn born!
i suggest u stay on at school, or go college n get ur as levels/a levels. then prehaps go uni. then ur set 4 life really, esp if u genralise, not specialise in ur subjects. i.e, take english wiv a language, not tractor mechanics! then either way ur set wiv a good qualification n most likely set 4 a good job! then its the hubby side of things. personally at the mo thinking ALL men r a waste of space, but im sure im wrong...or so im told.
getting pregnant young increases ur body's recovery rate. my mum had me at 40 and shes now 60 and STILL got problems from when she gave birth 2 me. im 20 and the only problems im really having so far (8 months gone) is all in me head cuza me ex being a royal pain in the butt. so yea, hav a kid young, but i'd advice having one when ur outa uni n all that. u'll kno when the time is right. or like me it'll be 'whoops im pregnant!!' either way u'll b happy.

good luck. it makes a difference to see a teenager on here wanting a secure family before having a child, and not just having a child cuz they can. congratulations. i think u'll make a great mum one day.

Answer 8

You need to slow down a bit, this is not something that you can just go out and buy, you need time for these things! You will not do your body any harm in getting pregnant at 17, but you should be married first, or at least in a very steady and extremely strong/stable relationship! Having a baby is not something to be taken lightly, it is very hard work! and by the way, you get money by going out to work!!!

Answer 9

Having children young damages your ability to care for them and your ability to find the husband and house part of your dream. You will greatly narrow your dating field by having a child - not all men are willing to take on a child, especially the men that have enough initiative to move forward in life with the ability to afford the "big house." Why would you want to do that to yourself on purpose??

Answer 10

I would recomend waiting a few years to start your family it sounds good now but its not easy. I am 20 now but i got preg at 18. It was not planned but i dont regret it. My son is now 18 months and im trying to finnish school and i work full time. I am engaged and hope to get married soon. If i had a choice i would wait till i was married to have kids. it didnt happen that way for me but it could for you. It is alot of work so i would think it through for a while b4 you make any decisions. Good luck.