I've been separated for over a year. I have been trying to get him to take his belongings out of my home, so I can get my house in order. Last night, he came to do it (after rescheduling about 20 times) He looked at the stuff - started crying and said he couldn't do this and would send someone over to do it. I don't want to just throw it out or dump it on lawn. Anyone with solutions?
2007-03-26 03:28:17 · 17 answers · asked by Ms. Gump 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ummm - He took a mistress and has been living with her for the past year.
2007-03-26 03:40:43 · update #1
This guy is emotionally black mailing you. He sounds like a child. You have broken up and if he had any respect for you he would take his stuff so that you can get on with your life. He is burdening you his inability to be a man. Maybe if he was a man you wouldn't have broken-up. He should at least have enough respect for you, to prove that he is one now. Maybe you should call his mommy to see if she can help him move his stuff out.
2007-03-26 03:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by applecheeks 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DUMP IT ON THE LAWN!!
My former work manager Eddie did that to a girl. She was his live-in girlfriend, cheated on him, so he dumped her in the most passive-aggressive way possible...by dumping all her belongings on the front lawn of their house, then changing the locks on the doors!(not in boxes or with any care or regard for her belongings, either)
I am in a similar boat to Eddie right now. I have my recent ex's laundry still at my apartment. (I never washed it, because I didn't want him to think that I would constantly do his laundry after I'd helped him out with it before) He was passive-aggressive to me, by avoiding my calls or getting back to me, and doing things behind my back. I was passive-aggressive back by dumping him on Myspace. If he is avoiding me, then it's pretty obvious he won't come for his stuff. So I am planning to drive by his house with my guy friend this week, and throw all his laundry all over the front lawn(did I mention he lives with his family?) while blasting that "f*ck you" song by Offspring lol. I can't wait!!
This dude should not be taking advantage of your space and your time(e.g., his rescheduling 20 times). His crying sounds like that of a drama queen. Sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you so that you'll either do the moving/hauling work for him, get back together with him, or both. Don't do it. Make him get his stuff, but if he doesn't ASAP, dump it on his lawn.
2007-03-26 03:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
"Oh my god", thats what im whispering now, by what you are saying , i tought he still love you , but with the additional details, im very sure, he is insecure, the only way to get him back on his feet is be cruel to him, if he has got no time to get his stuff back, get it back to him, tell him that he has made his choice and he would have to stick with it , no matter what. I know it sounds cruel, but don't be foolish like me, when my ex broke off with me, he said that we could be friends, i agreed, but that gave me a hell lot of pain and tears, not able to let go is my biggest fault, i hope you will not make the same mistake as i do, get over with it, it will do you better. Anyone could rate me bad but nobody could stop me from saying this, dump him, just like a rotting wound, would you cut it off, and suffer a short pain or would you let it rot... think it over, pls.
2007-03-26 03:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by jade s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He must be still in love with you and can't face the break-up. Does he call you to talk and/or cry? Or is moving his stuff the only undertaking that precipitates this crying behavior? He needs to get over the break-up. And you need to find a place to store his things whether it costs money or not. Get them out of your sight. And don't let him make you feel guilty because that's the next step. Stay Strong. @8-)
2007-03-26 03:35:17 · answer #4 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to call the ex and inform him that he needs to have someone come and pick his stuff up by the end of the month. You have given him plenty of time to retreive his items. Inform him that if his belongings aren't picked up in their entirety by the end of the month, you will be forced to throw it all out. Thank you and good luck.
2007-03-26 03:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest hiring a moving company and having them pack up and deliver his things to him. After that it is up to him to deal with it. Brava to you for trying to be sensitive! A lot of women would have just ditched his stuff on the lawn and the hell with him. It's good to see people behaving like adults about things like this!
2007-03-26 03:36:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send him a certified letter, giving him 30 days to claim his property, after which it will be considered abandoned. After 30 days, donate it to the Salvation Army, or toss it.
2007-03-26 03:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he still loves you.. Send him a certified letter telling him he has one last chance to get his stuff or you will be putting it on the curb for the trash man to haul away.
2007-03-26 03:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Throw it all out.
Him having a mistress should be making you mad enough to toss it all & not care!
2007-03-26 03:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call someone to find the cost to pick it up and take it to him, then get the money from him and then have it done. Or tell him if he doesn't get it by a certain date it's in the trash.
2007-03-26 03:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋