should i have a baby?

Question

I am twenty years old. I want to have a baby. There are many reasons why I should have one and why I should no have one right now. The reason I shouldn't have one right now is because I'll just be starting college, but thats not a big reason Another reason why I shouldn't have a baby is because I still live with my mother for the time being, BUT I plan on moving into my own place very soon, before 9 months would be over. I absolutely crave independence. I'm not like most kids my age who party party party every night. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I prefer to be at home watching a movie and eating popcorn than be out getting drunk. I want the responsibility of a child. I want to have something to occupy my mind. It would be great motivation to me to improve myself. I want to love something strongly. It would make me feel like I have a purpose. I want nothing more than to be a mommy, and I'm prepared for it mentally. I have a job and income, will be on my own soon. What should I do?

Alot of you had said I shouldnt have a baby since I'm asking if I should, I'm only asking because I want the opinions of others. I *KNOW* that I'm ready for a child. Sure, maybe I'm not well prepared but is anyone ever perfectly prepared? Are teenagers prepared when they fall pregnant? I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly. I've never loved anybody more. He loves me too. I suppose I came across the wrong way but asking if I should, I just know that people tend to be very critical, and I like to have other people's inputs on situations. I know that I'm ready, but I just wanted your look in on the situation. Thanks for all your answers. :)

Answer 1

i believe that you sound like you are. not many people are responsible enough to be willing to give up the party scene for a child but you sound like yo have a great head on your shoulders. dont listen to these other people saying that your not. they are just mad because those are the people who accidentally wind up pregnant not plan it and do it the responsible way.if you are ready to move on to the next step in your life then go for it and do it with confidence.this is just a wonderful way of showing that you can finally step out and do what you want to do with your life....good luck and i hope your soon to be pregnancy goes smooth...<3

Answer 2

It sounds like you have a lot of your life together. Good for you. However, I would definitely suggest finishing college first, before having a child, especially when you will be a single mother. Children take up most of your time and having a baby while attending college, although possible, is unfair to both you and the child. If you are pregnant already, this would be a different situation, but if you can plan to have a child, I would say to wait. You will need time to study, someone other than you will have to watch your child while you are in class. Babies get sick and you would have to take time off from your classes and make up work on top of work you will have for that day. I suggest you wait until you are settled in your own place and have finished college. I also think that you should go out, not necessarily to drink, but spend some time with friends. You may not realize that spending every day with only a child, can become tedious and you definitely need to spend time with your peers and other adults. If you need something to occupy your mind, a pet of some sort that relies upon you can be a good start in training for a child. Not to mention that good books and more education are always alternatives. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First of all, (and I am not being rude) if you are on here asking if you should have a baby, you probably shouldn't. Second, you are not on your own yet. Third, schooling is more important. And last, I didn't read anything in your question about a husband/boyfriend. I had my first at 20 I don't regret it, however, I wish I could have been more secure in my own standings. Nor was I with the father of my son. I am now married to my son's father, and we have another beautiful boy, and I am 38 weeks pregnant with our third son. Things do work out for some of us. but I wish I could have went about things differently, like an education and a relationship with my husband before we had kids. A child is going to occupy more than your mind. It is going to be difficult mentally, especially if your alone and raising a child. And if you crave independence, you are completely contradicting yourself when you say you want a baby, because you will be far from independant girl. I think it's great you aren't like other kids your age, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. But I wouldn't use a child to "motivate yourself." You need to motivate yourself, love yourself, and feel like you have a purpose all BEFORE you start a family. Good luck, hope I have helped you.

Answer 4

I was eighteen when I got pregnant and my partner was twenty-four. We got married and we are very happy to this day. Neither of us drink, party, or do drugs, and I've always been a more serious individual. I also left college to become a mother.

However, that being said, you need:
(1) A high income if you're on your own. By income, you'll need at least 1,500 dollars a month just to support your baby alone, due to the MASSIVE costs of diapers, accessories, clothing, and everything else.
(2) I would highly encourage you to have a steady partner who loves you and wants to stay with you. I think I'd have panicked and suffered a lot more as a single mother, because you can never imagine how difficult it is to have a baby until you try it. The exhaustion is crippling if nobody can help you.
(3) Once you give birth you'll (at least temporarily) lose income because you need to stay with your child. You need someone else to support you in that time.

I think you should wait until you have a man to share your life with, because above all, men usually don't want to date women with children and this would hamper your chances at partnership and achieving ANYTHING in life.

For instance, just for leaving college, I am a struggling painter right now, I had to go through to Army to make money since you can't make ANY money without a degree anymore in the United States, and you can not and will not support yourself and your child on just minimum wage, if you want to take care of her properly - see the doctor, give her proper nutrition, etc.

Answer 5

It's nice that you want a baby, but if you have to ask if you should have one, then it shows you're not ready. If you have a baby before you start college, the odds are against you on even going. You need an education to get a well paying job to support a child. You don't have a child for a motivation to improve yourself. Improve yourself first, get that education, then the good job, make sure you can afford the expenses of a baby, and hopefully then you'll be ready. May I suggest you become a big sister to someone?

Answer 6

You need to to think about what you are saying. All of your reasons are about you! You said I have a job and income, what about the baby having a dad that is going to be around forever!! You are not ready to have a baby right now. You need to have a lot more than just some income to take care of a baby. Do you know how much it would cost you to put your baby in daycare while you go to school? Try about $125 a week. Do you have that plus the money to buy diapers, clothes, formula, and everything else your baby needs like furniture? On top of that, you still have to pay your regular bills. Who is going to keep your baby that you want when he/she is sick and you have to be at school?? You need to reconsider for the time being. It is not wrong to want a baby, but it is not the right time in your life. Good luck and I hope that you make the right decision.

Answer 7

I am 20 also. I have a daughter, however I am married to the love of my life. I am like you, I never partied, never got drunk, I don't even drink. I've never done drugs. Let me tell you, I love my daughter. But I love my husband.
Go to college and take your time. You are young- falling in love with someone is wonderful. Fall in love, get married, then have a baby.
College is a responsibility. Your responsibilty is your grades.

Unless you are already pregnant, don't have a baby just yet.

If you are pregnant- have the baby, you won't regret it. But if this is something you are trying to plan- don't do it.

The Lord meant for people to be saved, fall in love, and then raise a family. Trust in Him. Wouldn't He know? I mean He made everything didn't He?

Answer 8

I would wait. Moving out on your own in an expense & experience all its own. You have no idea how much work & money & time a baby takes. I would live your life, find someone you love...& when the time is right have kids. Don't bring a child into this world for yourself....A child is not here to occupy time...it's here to be a blessing & lead a wonderful life.

Answer 9

If you have to ask yourself whether you should or should not have a baby then it isn't time!!! A woman knows when it is time. Be proud of yourself that you have the chance to make this choice. I don't think you should if you are having to ask others or yourself this question. You are only 20 yrs. old, you have plenty of time to be a mother. I am proud of my children and love them very much, but I sometimes wish I would have waited a little longer. I'm 34 yrs. old and my oldest is 15 yrs. old. When you don't have to ask the question is the time you choose (then and only then).

Answer 10

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