he is my husbands grandson and we have had him from 8 months old off and on till his 2 b-day then we adopted him then!! his real mom went to the pin and know is out and she wants to buy him everything, but it hurt us because we can't afford everything !!!! please help me!!!
2007-03-26 03:14:32 · 6 answers · asked by jhp23l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to tell him before his biological mother does.
There are tons of children's books out there that will help you pave the way -- try "The Day We Met You" or "Over the Moon." Both are available on amazon.
It's critical that you are honest with your child. If you hide the adoption, he will assume it was somhow "bad." Be honest, and be honest early.
Good luck!
2007-03-26 06:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him as soon as possible. The longer you wait the more trust issues he'll have. At 5 years old most kids are pretty easy going.
Explain that usually babies grow in their mommy's tummy. But, that he was born in someone else tummy. But, that you are his mommy & you love him & ALWAYS will . The most important things will be for him to understand that YOU will always be there for him!
About the other lady buying stuff. She either need to be completely involved or completely out of the picture. It can make things complicated if she not around him & yet still buying him things.
If she's already around him- there's no harm in her buying him things that he needs if you can't afford it. I knnow you may feel like you want to be the one to get him everything- but It's the child's best interest that should be put first.
2007-03-26 03:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.know.It.All 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless he finds out, which he probably will, don't tell him. Wait until he's older or he asks you about it. Telling him at this age could seriously affect your relationship with him in the future. My cousin was adopted and they told her when she was 6. She acts differently now, alothough she does treat everyone as family. You also have a right to tell her to stop.
Materialism is not as important, spend time with the kid. Tell him that things are not important in life and relationships are. This is a good thing to teach a kid early on, this way he will grow up with good values and love you for being there for him instead of buying him things all the time.
2007-03-26 03:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Chels 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You adopted him. he is yours now you have the right to tell her to stop. but a child should know about being adopted from as early as possible. My husband adopted a boy when he was 6 months old. and they never kept it from him. he has always known. tell him now but only as much as he needs to know. and do not bad mouth the childs bio parents as he will then grow to hate you for that. that should always be his decision.
2007-03-26 03:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, the appropriate time to tell him that he was adopted because his mother was in prison is around maybe 9-10 years old because by then he's old enough to comprehend what's going on.
2007-03-26 03:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just keep doing what you are doing. Love is more important than material stuff. One day he will realize you gave him love and who gave him stuff.
2007-03-26 03:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋