Is it inappropriate to be friends with your boss?

Question

so i have an amazing boss. she's super supportive and wants to know what's going on in my life and such. but how close should i allow myself to get? is it okay to be friends or is that just a no go? thanks

Answer 1

It is good to be friends with your boss.
Just dont ever forget that she is your boss.

Answer 2

I have been friends with a boss, he retired and we keep in contact. That said, there are boundaries which have to be followed. They are your boss and things will be tense at times because of the friendship between the two of you, stressful work and friendship will be put on hold for the job.
Depends on the work place and if the job will allow such things to happen.

Answer 3

Of course you can be acquaintances, but friendship is something that takes time and commitment. Your boss is snooping into your private life - which is a huge no-no. She may appear 'super supportive' but this may be her way of getting you to reveal more about yourself than you want to, or should.

When she starts prying into your private life she is being unethical - not what I look for in a friend. If you volunteer information, that's ok, but when a boss or coworker starts pumping you for personal information the answer should be a firm 'I'd prefer not to discuss the details'. or an even firmer 'that's none of your business'.

What happens when she can't get any new juicy data out of you? Will she cease trying to be your friend and set her sights on the new person in the office? Worse, when someone has to be promoted or fired, if she has any ethics at all, she cannot allow friendship to enter into the picture. At that time, you risk feeling hurt or feel betrayed, and not many friendships survive that.

My advice is play it cool. Keep your personal information just that: personal. Until you can be sure of her motives, you are playing with fire. Every shred of information you volunteer may one day come back to bite you - and letting your boss try to be your friend can even cost you your job should the two of you fall out of friendship.

Answer 4

i got a new boss when our company relocated from another state and the international dept moved from overseas to the US.
She was great, but had never lived in the US (she was from Europe). I showed her around the city (a large metropolitan area) and introduced her to many people. We became good friends and I worked myself silly for her (not that I would have done any differently for any other boss). She was a great mentor and I trusted her completely
We got to be great friends and I realized that others in the office were jealous. As I worked ALL the time and was subsequently recognized by others for outstanding work, I didn't think it was a problem.
I soon found out that she had slept her way to a VP position while in Europe, was sleeping with a senior executive AND his right hand man here in the US. She was also using me as an excuse to her boss and her fiance saying that she was with me working when she was actually out with these two men. I looked like a liar and when I denied being with her (which was the truth), I looked like an idiot.
My advice would be to accept as much support as development opps as you can, but draw a line if you start to get into too much of your personal life. Things such as your family, outside relationships, etc., should not play into it.
I'm very happy that you have a great relationship, but I speak from experience when I say that mine ruined my career and several years later, I still struggle with the aftermath and what people thought/think of me as a result. After everything came out and she left the company, I was viewed as a cheat and a liar although I had nothing to do with her actions and was doing most of her work for her (what she called "development").

Answer 5

Not appropriate. The problem with being friends with your boss is that she has the authority to fire you! Plus she can demote or reprimand you. So, there is a professional distance you must keep from her to protect your job.

Let me give you an example of why friendship with the boss can be a problem.
If you get sick, do something illegal, or get credit problems, you may want to tell a friend about it. But if you tell your boss, even as a friend, she may use this against you as part of her job duties. Even if you continue to do your job well, she may look at you as an impaired employee if she knows you are ill, smoked a joint years ago, or got behind in your bills. Also, you can't talk to her as a friend about problems with your job. You would talk to her then as an employee.

Another example would be if you told a friend that you are trying to get pregnant. Your boss may want to find a "reason" to fire you so that you won't be an added cost on company health insurance when you are pregnant.

And what happens if you have an argument with her as friends? This may also affect your job.

So, be "friendly" with her at work on a professional level, but don't make her a real friend.

Answer 6

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it. I had a previous job where the store manager, assistant managers and a few others as well as myself...would go out every Wednesday night to a night club. Just a way of showing that you can be professional and let your hair down at the same time. I enjoyed the night life with co-workers but as long as you know when to draw the line between work and play then their shouldn't be a problem. Otherwise some corporates, and co-workers, might see it as fratinizing or tend to become a little skeptical, especially when favortizism come into play. Just be careful and think about your situation well.

Answer 7

i don't know if you would call her my boss but she is the property manager at the apartment complex that i work for and i am the maintenance supervisor of the same place.
we have to work very close together to achieve the same goal
occupancy and retention of residents. we both must coordinate when an apartment becomes available, and how in the most efficient and cost effective way to make it ready to lease in the quickest time. we being best friends helps this process happen in the most timely manner. as professionals we know what the end goals the company wants us to attain (this company has well over 150,000 units as well as commercial properties), and for the past 6 years we have together surpassed them, heck, we passed and have held
for the past four years the only property to keep an average
occupancy rate above 98%, never lower. so to answer your question there is nothing wrong with being friends with the "boss" as long as you are on both the same page with what you need to make things happen. and by the way we are both married and me and her husband and i go fishing all the time as well as my wife and her go and spend our money
on shopping trips.

Answer 8

You're lucky to have a supportive boss. There's always a demarcation line between a boss and a subordinate. So be friends outside of the office but be sure you get the job done.

Answer 9

I am close with my boss but when we are at work we try to keep it a work relationship and when we are out of work we are like family. We go on vacation together every other year and have been for about 5 or 6 years.

Answer 10

One of my dearest closets friends was a boss of mine. She is a wonderful person and friend and I am very thankful that we kept close once we both left the same job. We would have BBQ at each others homes and even went to concerts together. She even came to my wedding! As long as special treatment isnt given there is no reason to not be friends. I got in trouble plenty o times with her lol we still friends. Thats whats important today!

Answer 11

I was friends with my boss...I thought he was nicest guy in the world. He claimed to be a Christian...just an all around good guy...then I found out he was scamming the company and he was a lier. He told me he would give me a raise...well 4 paycheck later I never got my raise and he said he never promised me one. Well I ended up leaving on bad terms...and now he talks bad about me behind my back. I ran into another coworker who previously worked there that I thought was my friend and she snubbed me twice. I don't think it's a good idea to be friends with your boss. Cause if something happens within the company and you end up leaving your job it may ruin chances of getting another job. Especially if your new job prospects want to contact your previous employer. This dude is holding a grudge on me.

You can be nice to her...but don't claim to be buddies