i have been with my boyfriend for 6. we are madly inlove and soon will be married, but one thing is children. I don't want kids and he maybe does. I have been honest with him since day one, now I have pressure of his friends and family. What do i do break up.
2007-03-26 02:50:45 · 40 answers · asked by WHITNEY H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
break up..but dont regret it later.
Stay-on and talk to him about your priorities.
2007-03-26 02:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Be frank and honest. Tell him what you feel, that you don't feel ready to have kids. Boys listen you know even though they sometimes act like insensitive gits. Another thing, don't give a damn to his family and friends. What matters is your boyfriend and you only. The others don't matter. They won't be there when you will be in a situation you never wanted. Just think about you and your boyfriend. You said probably he wants kids, have you asked him yet? Frank open discussions are the keys to a good and healthy relationship. Talking is crucial. If you don't talk, none of you will understand what the other wants and you will end up feeling bitter. Till now you have done the good thing in being frank and open so continue. tell him and don't take any rash decisions.
Good luck
2007-03-26 02:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Farhali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of two marriages that failed because one wanted children and the other didn't. You need to so some serious talking with each other and perhaps a counselor. The pressure from friends and family can be ignored as they aren't the ones considering marriage. Do what is best for the two of you. Many couple enjoy a wonderful lifelong marriage with no children. Just make sure the two of you agree before tying the knot, or there may be another divorce added to the growing divorce rate.
2007-03-26 02:56:26 · answer #3 · answered by Bud B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whitney, first ask yourself if your soon to be Husband will be okay with your decision of not wanting any children. This has to be a two way thing or else you're going to have major problems later on. Pay no attention to what his friends or Family wants, it's really what both of you want as a whole.
You might have to let go if he does want to have children, it will hurt more if you stay in the relationship to be reminded later from him or his Family that he could've had children but you didn't want any. This is a difficult situation to be in, especially when you love someone dearly.
Hopefully, you both can come to an agreement for the sake of your love for each other where there will be no regrets. :)
2007-03-26 03:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Cricket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you very, positively, absolutely and definitely sure about NOT wanting to have kids? That really is a huge challenge in a relationship, especially in a marriage. Marriage, to some, is not complete unless there is a family, which or course, means having parents AND kids.
Both of you should communicate about this before bringing the relationship to the next level or to a halt. Don't be too quick to go down the break-up path. You've got to ask yourself the reason why you don't want to have kids. Are you reproductively-challenged, or emotionally/mentally not ready? If it's not a biological thing, there may come a day that your maternal instincts may just kick in and having broken up with this boyfriend, you've got brace yourself NOT to live in regrets after that.
Do what you truly want for yourself but only after asking questions and communicating with your boyfriend.
You go, girl.
2007-03-26 02:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by fatPig 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't let his friends and family pressure you. The only opinion that counts is his. He really needs to examine what he wants and decide BEFORE you get married. If he wants kids and you don't then there's no way to make it work. He will resent not having any and if you give in and have one, you may resent the child and him. This is one of those things that you have to know before saying "I do." In the back of his mind he may be thinking you'll change your mind. You need to make it clear that you won't (if you are really sure), so that he knows that children will not be possible with you. Ignore everyone else. You aren't in a relationship with them.
2007-03-26 02:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 what? anyways before you start down the isle you need to tell him your views on having children. Some men wont mind but then some really want families, people get divorced over this issue, and it is a major problem even for the women who cant have babies, you better tell him. why do you not want to have babies is it out of fear or selfishness? maybe you can get to the bottom of your issue and change your mind, If you are as you say in love with your man, you'd think you'd want to have his babies as well. If it's due to your own abusive childhood get counseling ( I know you didn't say you were but sometimes that's the problem and bring on real fear) Be honest with him and tell him you respect him but you have this one problem that perhaps you can as a couple work it out. Best of Luck on your future.
2007-03-26 03:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by K F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to want to get married and not have kids, however, if your to be husband wants them then I am going to go out on a limb and say don't get married. This is a BIGGIE. It's one of those deals that will come back to visit you every Christmas, Easter, etc etc. It will not seem like a big issue the first 2-3 years but as your marriage grows it will become a major source of tension and unhappiness and you will not be able to run away from it. So no, save him and yourself the grief and don't do it.
2007-03-26 03:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by huckleberry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
beautiful.(: Everleigh Chanelle Melody Lyric Alyssa Avery Paisley Jade Kaylee-Ann Elizabeth Brielle Alexandria Marie Riley Deliliah Carsyn Anelle rebel Alexandria Gracelyn Chavelle <3
2016-10-01 12:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this is your life, not that of your friends or family. If they want children so bad, then they can have them.
In a private place, sit down with your boyfriend and talk things out just between the two of you. Could be, he's being pressured too.
2007-03-26 02:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, his maybe, how big is it? Make sure he knows that there is no way in hell your uterus is a housing unit or a rental flat. Go get your tubes tied or ask him to get a vesectomy. He'll know how serious you are then. He might be thinking like our misogynstic society often does, that since you are a woman, you don't really know what you want and that you will change your mind because all woman want babies. I know that's crap. You know that's crap, but your future husband? Maybe he's a woman hater in sheeps clothing.
As for his friends and family, tell them you don't want children and refuse to have children and after that if they are rude enough to say something, you can tell them to **** off.
2007-03-26 02:59:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋