I found out that during his lunch hour my husband sometimes goes to men's magazines online to look at girls he thinks are hot. The girls aren't totally naked or anything - but just terribly pretty etc. It makes me sad as I feel that perhaps I am not enough for him. Do other men in relationships do this or not?
When I asked him if he did this he lied and said 'no'. So I told him that I had looked at the history and that the pictures had come up - well then he had to confess and came to the conclusion that he may need counselling as he has always had a problem with this.
2007-03-26 02:36:03 · 18 answers · asked by Liz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think all guys do it but I don't think that'll help you to feel better about yourself, if you feel bad & all why don't you make yourself look better then you wont feel so bad about what hes looking at.
I cant imagine if the girls were naked what you'd react like then. but its not for us to say really, if you feel its a problem then maybe you both need counseling. not just him on his own though.
2007-03-26 12:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, before you go all sad and unhappy, pls ask yourself, didnt you steal a 2nd look when that gorgeous hunk walked pass you , didn't you like to look at handsome guys? Well, as a nature of human( man or women) they like to look at beautiful things and people. And other people giving bad suggestions are only leading you to believe that it is totally wrong for a married man to look at pretty womens. Take it as it is, give your comments, positive or negative, but never spiteful ones. You know , when your 1 finger is pointing out, the other 4 is pointing inwards at youself, just relax, and im sure you can get over this soon, maybe he would even open up to you after this.....
2007-03-26 02:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by jade s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men love to look at pictures of hot women. Clothed, not clothed, hardcore porn etc. Almost ALL men. Relationship or not.
And it has NOTHING to do with you, how beautiful you are, or anything like that.
COUNSELLING? I think YOU need counselling if this is that big of a deal for you.
Honestly, Liz - he said to you exactly what he thought you wanted to hear. You need to understand that a picture of a woman is no threat to you or your marriage unless you make it so.
2007-03-26 02:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it hurts you then its not right. But its perfectly normal. Most guys look and do worse.
Its most likely curiousity. You have to understand the male mind, especially if they have buddies that say "Hey look at this" Or "Did you see so and so in that picture"
If it hurts you though, especially if he lied to you. He should work to stop.
And if you dont feel like enough for him, offer to join him while he looks at the pictures. Find out what he thinks is attractive, and enjoy it with him. And believe me that will rock his world more then looking at the pictures.
2007-03-26 02:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend looks at bathing suit sites and stuff like that all the time. At first I felt like you, I wondered if I wasn't good enough for him. But then I asked some guy friends and they all said that sometimes guys just want to look at hot girls and it has nothing to do with their wives/girlfriends not being hot enough.
2007-03-26 03:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by lorbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband does it all the time. I don't find it any more bothersome than looking at magazines. I would go ballistic if I caught him doing anything interactive, though. Guys just like checking out women. As long as he comes home from work on time to you every night, I say lighten up.
2007-03-26 02:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were internet porn, it could be a sign of a problem in the relationship, but you admit these chicks aren't even naked -- and you're gonna send him to counselling?
Would you also suggest he get counselling for watching any TV shows that had chicks in bikinis on them?
You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
2007-03-26 03:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by joe b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most men look at porn! Be grateful that they're clothed and not doing degrading things. Men look at other women they can't help it! Dont you look when you see a guy with a nice body? You should, its a normal response as far as reproducing and propagating your species. Its not cheating so....I dont see the problem
2007-03-26 02:51:46 · answer #8 · answered by lovebug512 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. I think it's more of an appreciation of an aesthetic than anything else. Plus, if it gets him "in the mood," you're the one who benefits! I wonder why he lied to you initially, though. Maybe if you reframe the way you think about this behavior and become more accepeting, it will actually enhance your love life.
2007-03-26 02:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by Curry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not for us to say whats normal or whats not................if however you see this activity as a problem & he feels he needs help with it, then it needs to be sorted out one way or the other..............I'm never sure when a habit becomes an addiction, all I know is when either become a problem then action is needed.
If he was single he's within his rights to do as he likes [assuming it's legal]..... but as a married couple if one partner does something that the other finds offensive or feels threatened by then something needs to give before the marriage is having problems...............
2007-03-26 02:44:34 · answer #10 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋