My partner and i have to live apart due to me needing to live closer to work and her and the kids needing to remain close to school. My partner has been through a hell of a lot, and lost a lot of the security she had been used to. Now she is throwing herself into more than one work venture to rebuild her security for the family, which i support and understand. But she is pushing me away. Our love for each other is as strong as it has ever been but she does not feel able to embrace this love and her work commitments together.
My dilemma is that knowing we both have this strong love for each other, am i destined to just wait as long as it takes before we can basically be in each others arms again?
( i don't really expect advice on this as more detail would be required, but any opinions would be appreciated.)
2007-03-26 02:12:19 · 8 answers · asked by literarytony 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Many thanks to those of you whom have taken the time to add your opinions and advice. Much appreciated.
2007-03-26 05:01:09 · update #1
Difficult situations always require making difficult decisions. Prioritize your life. 1. children need a. mother and father b. love c. sustenance d. home 2. your wife needs a. love b. security c.help raising children d. help maintaining home 3. You need...........skip this for now........why is she having to rebuild her security. Did you stop providing - take a lower pay job - go work where you can hunt and fish with your buddies and make less $$$ or drink more beer? Only You know your situation. You have children and a wife to take care of. That is your job, responsibility and priority one. Make a list of your options that will best serve taking care of your responsibilities. Does your job have to move or change, your wife have to move part way towards your job. The two of you will have to have a meeting of the minds on where you are headed. Find as many options as possible. Then sit down and make the hard choices. Do it together, it looks like there has already been too much making of family decisions without the input of the partner. Good Luck to You and Your Family. Don't forget what really counts.
2007-03-26 02:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kenny Ray 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
catch 22 situation , you have to go where the money is , if you dont and your money problems get bigger the relationship will suffer .
You must work on getting the financial securty first , and basically think of the family unit ,
you may have to take a back seat for a while , while offering support in anyway you can , but not being a drain on the situation , if you slow down the wheels of progress , and the opurtunities for your mrs go out the door she will resent you for it , then your marraige will suffer ten fold..
You must go where the money is , and then when the money is there along with security , then you can have some breathing space..
Money is the root of all evil , only when it is lacking , and when it is worth more than your family.
I would suggest however if your wife is consistantly in the same place for work ,and will be go to be with her , if the love is still there , then fight to find ways to keep it there. really feel for you in this situation, just trying to come up with answers on what I would do is painful just to understand someone has to deal with this .. as I said catch 22 , hope this helped
2007-03-26 09:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by DSV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you be a man and get a job closer to home so that your exhausted wife doesn't have to work herself to death just to make ends meet. No wonder she doesn't have time for you, she has to work too much! You should be helping to take care of her and the kids more than you are, and if you can't do that with your current job, move back home and find another job! Your family needs you there, not wherever you are.
2007-03-26 09:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if you are experiencing a normal and quite common phenomenon of today's every busy society . . . too much to do, and too little time in which to do it. The human psyche can only handle so much 'giving' - and it sounds as if your partner has reached that limit. The solution? Simplify - Reduce responsibility - Accept less (materially). . . it's not likely that your partner can or will do these things . . . perhaps hanging in there will work for you - best wishes in your waiting and hoping process. . .
2007-03-26 09:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are incredibley amazing,how could she even think of her security and rebuilding her foundation and securing her nest egg for her family when she is pushing you away.....lol why don't you think iof doing the same
2007-03-26 09:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by FYIIM1KO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being with your lover means that much to you then you need to go out and make some money.
2007-03-26 09:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is replacing her relationship with you with her work. It's my opinion that you are being intentionally squeezed out.
2007-03-26 09:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there.
2007-03-26 09:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋