My husband is 8 yrs older than me and he was my first and he has been with quite a few others before me, i have seen him looking at other women and when i bring it up he just says for him its like he could have the best looking car but if a car that looks good pulls up next to him then he my glance but that dosent mean he wants that car. i am just so hurt from it that i cant sleep at night is it just my being younger and less experienced or is it something to really worry about? i am just so unbelievebly hurt.
2007-03-26 01:55:07 · 22 answers · asked by nightsjewel20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also 5 months pregnant with his child and it happened with me standing right next to him.
2007-03-26 01:56:08 · update #1
The way I handled this is. I told my old man if you do not want me to embarrass you in public. Don't be doing this any more. He didn't stop. So I made it a point to do some heavy duty looking myself. My ex would even talk to the gals. One day I up an hollered (I was 8 months pg) How would you both like this fat pg woman to slap both your asses clear to hell?" The whole store heard me say this "Ladies I am getting divorced coz this jerk is a hoe!" "Would Somebody take him off my hands?" LOL He never did that to me again!
2007-03-26 02:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One guy I dated was blatant about it and verbal too right in front of me. I turned the tables and started doing and acting the same way. Believe it he did not like it! figure out a way to turn the mirror on him without making it about you and maybe he will see it. The guy I dated did, he stopped the blatant behavior and started "glancing" nonchalantly like a committed individual should do :)
You could also have a talk with him and tell him you are not sure if the hormones are raging or what but that his actions are making you nuts and driving you over an edge. Try to laugh about your reactions and then he wont feel defensive either but should be more respect full of your feelings then.
Then when he does it again point it out in a humorous way. Tell him "that chickypoo you just looked at? well, when you looked at her I had a vision of scratching her eyes out, You think its hormonal or green eyed monster syndrome?
But...always be sure your reactions are not derived from the fact that you do not feel he is trustworthy. If you think he is the type to cheat then your feelings are telling you something and you need to make a decision on whether you want the relationship on those terms or not.
Good Luck and best wishes Hope humor helps both of you deal with any issues
2007-03-26 02:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by damommyxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he grew up and realized what a terrible mistake he made by marrying at 18,with someone old enough to be his mother ! He still has an excuse,he was young,but you,you were 36,what were you thinking??You should have known that he will wake up and realize that one day he will want something else! Being with a ''cougar'' might sound ''hot''and might give him the idea that ''wow this older,experienced woman wants me ,yeah ! '',but only in the begining ... with time he came to realize that he made a mistake and now he doesn't want to be with you anymore,he wants to date younger girls,girls his own age . You should have known this will happen . Right now you are double his age .When he will be 30 and still in his prime and able to be with a 23 year old, you will be almost 50 . You were the adult here and with mroe life experience,how could you beg an 18 year old to marry you?? You should have known better and let him enjoy his youth,no wonder he's done poor kid he had to grow up way too fast ,you brainwashed him ! I have no pity for you,i have pity for him !
2016-03-29 08:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think almost all guys are going to look. It's just a guy thing. I really don't think it's something to worry about. That being said, if it's something that bothers you so much he should respect that enough to not do it, especially not in front of you. Has he cheated or given you reason not to trust him?? Have you always felt like this or is it insecurity that is coming up from being pregnant? Those are just some things to think about. I'm assuming these are random strangers on the street he's looking at, if it's a friend or co-worker that he's giving these looks to then that is different. Like I said though, I think it's harmless, but if it's really bothering you that much explain it to him and if he can't respect that then I think you have bigger problems.
2007-03-26 02:06:42 · answer #4 · answered by trixi 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Stop worrying dear...This is completely normal in men and women for a matter of fact.....He had to be looking when he found and picked you so rest assured that he chose what he wanted which was you...and now you are giving him the ultimate gift.. a child conceived in the love you share.....this is how I always think about this..."Just because you read the menu doesn't mean you are going to order"....Relax and ignore this ...think about your new baby and all of the great memories that you are in the process of making...
2007-03-26 02:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by foxygirl29303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of your insecurity is due to your age and part of it because you are pregnant! Has this man ever cheated on you?? If not, then you should stop worrying about it so much! EVERY man on the face of the earth looks at other women! And, EVERY woman looks at other men. If they say they don't they are lying!!
Now, as for doing it in front of you - you should talk to him about that! That is somewhat disrespectful! Although, you could just stop making a big deal out of it, and have fun with it. The next time you catch him staring at a girl, stop, walk up to her, and say "My husband can't keep his eyes off of you, are you available, because he is going to need a place to live real soon!" He will be mortified, and you will get your point acrossed. I promise he will think twice before he does it again!!
2007-03-26 02:21:10 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, he isnt blind!
Just because you admire something beautiful doesnt mean you want to possess it!
Which is what he said referencing it to a car.
I am sure that you notice people too whether male or female that are beautiful. I certainly notice when a hot honey is near by me and I am happily married for 15 years! It doesnt mean I want to "do" the hot hunk of meat walking by me, but I sure will appreciate the opportunity to look at it!
Dont expect him to walk around with a blind fold on!
Now you did mention you are pregnant and it is very normal to feel "fat" or "ugly" during this time. Even though you are neither! That is your hormones talking not facts.
This man loves you or he would not have married you and have you be the women to bear his child/children.
Relax and let him have a view. Remember its your bed he is in everynight not someone elses because he choose you to be with not some eye candy!
2007-03-26 02:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by KUJayhawksfan* 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He's a guy. Most of them are smart enough to look on the sly. Especially if their girlfriend/wife is pregnant. I wouldn't worry too much about him looking, but he is being insensitive to do it so obviously. I'm married, happily, but if I see a hot guy, I look, but I'm not interested in starting anything with him, sometimes it's just nice to admire the scenery. I got married, but I didn't go blind. At the same time, I would never make it obvious enough that my husband would know. I don't want to hurt his feelings just to look at some guy. I know he looks too, but he's smart about it.
2007-03-26 02:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
ever been window shopping.you look but dont buy.. next have you ever checked out a guy even on the sly. as long as he looks and dont touch and still comes home to you I wouldn't worry about it. yes your feeling are hurt you are pregent and most likely not feeling so hot right now dont let those feeling cuase undo fighting..
2007-03-26 02:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic.
Men do this all the time. You are going thru hormonal changes
and things aren't always as they seem. Keep in mind it is you
he goes home with every night and wakes up to every morn.
The feelings you have are normal.
2007-03-26 02:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋