He was the one from the beginning of the relationship never wanting it . It was so obvious. I'm a mess and I want to move on with my life. He simply doesn't want me to be happy, yet doesn't want to be in a marriage with me. How SICK!!! When he moved on...I let go. I didn't talk to him. I didn't bother his girlfriend. I asked for the divorce. He wants to have it his way. I am only asking for child support and what I am ENTITLED too. I left him with the car. I didn't beg for money. I did without. I only pushed when he pushed me against the wall. I don't try to make his life miserable. I just want to be happy and I know that doesn't include him. Why is he insistent on marring my name since he don't care? Why didn't he file the divorce since he is so in love with this girl? I made it easy for him. I refused to have another child with him. He tried to trap me. If he so happy with this girl, why not focus on that? Move on since I am the problem!!!!!!!
2007-03-26 01:36:37 · 11 answers · asked by new life abundant 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's all about control. Don't let it get to you. You do what you have to do to get support for your's and HIS child and ignore anything he has to say to you. He is a miserable person, and he thinks if he makes it hard enough for you, you will drop the issue just to get away from him. Don't let him get away with that. Keep your head up, in the end just know he's a pig and you will be happier without him. Pity his new woman. If she is smart she's paying attention right now and is rethinking the relationship with him.
2007-03-26 01:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to see you're feeling so miserable... sometimes people cling for their own, selfish reasons. Perhaps the marriage was "comfortable" for him? Maybe it gave him some sense of security, even though he acted like a total jerk. YOU deserve some happiness, though.
About the child support -- your child is entitled, and if you are divorced, didn't the courts order him to pay child support? In most states, it's deducted from one's pay. You could look into this at the appropriate office in your courthouse, or ask your attorney for help. The man is obligated to take care of his child(ren).
I assume he is still bothering you in some way, from the tone of your question.... the best advice i can give is do your best to go on with your life... control your own feelings, and don't react or respond to him. A show of emotion in response to him will give him bait to continue.
It will take you a while to get through all of this. Meanwhile, you know what kind of person YOU are, and no one else can "mar" your name.... You are insightful enough to see what type of person this man is, and i'm sure the rest of the world will figure it out, also.
Please don't "do without" -- you deserve a decent life, too. Take care of YOU.
talk with someone who understands if you need to do so.. surround yourself with people who know you and care. He's not worth the worry.
all the best.
2007-03-26 08:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men just like to be real a$$holes and don't like to think of their previous partners moving on and being happy, he is obviously not happy even though he made the moves to let you go by getting a new gf. I would suggest don't play his games and do it all the legal way through the solicitors and try and avoid any confrontation with this man. You are legally entitled to half of the house and any other property you own. Go and see a lawyer who specialises in family law and see what they have to say, take him for half that is what you and your child are entitled to. You need to make sure that you have enough to give that child a home that is comfortable. Best of luck and i hope it all works out for you.
2007-03-26 08:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only talk to him regarding kids/leave divorce and child support conversations to the atty's. If he brings it up tell him to have his atty talk to yours or to friend of court......let him no in no uncertain terms that you will only speak in regards to the kids not his life or yours...if he continues to spk about anything else you will hang up phone or leave....and NO child support doesn't constitute talking about kids...if you can't do that then let him go to voice mail and return his call when you can leave a msg in regards to any ?'s about kids or write him a letter.....if it's important enough he will leave msg...which is admissible in court if he's harrassing you.
Be strong about this-also if the rules are good enough for him then you have to follow them too. What you have to remember is that it is his problem that you are moving on-you aren't the one having the problem...let him own his problems...also when he is putting you down-just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" they are his feelings not yours and there's not a very logical response to that statement!
2007-03-26 08:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by kimba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool , sounds like a winge, winge winge winge. you have basically told everyone what you want , your point of view , what are we supposed to say.
if you feel so strong about it , stick to your guns!
and let go of some of your anger will ya , you can never move on when you basically winge to the public , who are trying to give you an answer.
just remember there are 2 sides to a coin , he has his access , give him that , and talk to child support , about his maintainance , nothing more you can do.. but.. get on with your life , and make it even clearer your point of view to your ex.. I can tell now that you dont want to get back with him , so stick to that .. and get on with your life , or if will consume you...!
get the divorce as soon as you can !
2007-03-26 08:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by DSV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the age old problem. Some men just don't know what they want. Accept that he's an idiot and ignore his pettiness. And bless the day you found out about his girlfriend - it was the first day of your freedom from the hell that is being married to a liar and cheat.
2007-03-26 08:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying I heard "It's cheaper to keep her" He is not looking for you to get anything including happiness. Stop trying to be nice it's not going to get you anywhere. I would say all bets are off now and put yourself first. Who cares what he has to say I would let a judge decide and not speak with him. Good Luck .
2007-03-26 09:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore him totally and completely. cut your self off entirely from him so he has no ammo for his fire! disassociate yourself from any relationships her is connected to. do not be anything more than civil when it comes to your child. dont talk to him concerning your private life. if he is so happy with his new girl and moving on then let him be. misery loves company and hes looking to drag you down anyway he can and shove it in ur face. if you dont let it bother it just proves your a stronger person. keep you rhead up, life can only get better. :)
2007-03-26 08:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to pay child support take him to court and get the divorce.
2007-03-26 08:42:26 · answer #9 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't take two to get file a divorce. Its not like you need his permission. Get into court ASAP. You have him on adultery charges at the very least so get going.
2007-03-26 08:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋