Have been married for 10 years.
We are exact opposites.
Live a passionless but peaceful married life.
Last Apr discovered Hubby's sms to friends " Tonight hunt for Chicks"
Confront him & warned him about Divorce consequences.
He promised he will not go to these KTVs with hotess again. He said since I was his 1st girlfriend he wanted to experience how KTV with hotess were like.
No fights & I forgive..
Oct I discovered that his "Biz Trip to India" was actually to Bangkok for prostitute.
Big fight - Again He said he just wanted to experience once.
Lots of hurt & crying, praying together & he said he will never do it again.
I forgive & made extra effort to spend more time & spice up marriage. All was well.
Last month, I discovered 2 KTV receipts & condom in his wallet.
Confronted him, very sad he ask me to forgive & promised he will change.
Am financially independent & attractive but scare to start life as single, also hubby dependent on me and parents not for divorce.
2007-03-26 01:21:45 · 23 answers · asked by Sweety 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you for all the good advices.
I now am more convince that I have to do something like perhaps separation though its painful. The short term pain will bring both of us happiness in the long term. If I am unhappy, I cannot make him happy in marriage. Also he will hopefully become a more responsible person. Now I will need to find out HDB (housing) & Legal stuff. Anyone who has advice on HDB & Legal, please share with me. I am so touch by all the response at my most depress moment. God bless & may you be happy too.
2007-03-27 22:50:06 · update #1
You can only be treated the way you allow others to treat you. You have allowed him to get away with this and he will continue because there are no consequences. It is time to wake up and say anything new can be a little scary but it is time to move on.
2007-03-26 02:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm... Seems like he do hope to carry on this marriage, yet break promise again and again. Moreover he went for prostitute... I don't think this is bearable... Suggested that it's best for you to file divorce against him... Its seems no point continue on.... He may hurt you again... or worst, bring 'virus' back to the house... (You should know what I mean) As for HDB wise, you can try check with your area Branch Office for it. As far as I'm concern, you can appeal to sell the flat even though the flat is not yet 5yrs old. But to some conditions like divorcing. I'm currently going through this too. So if you have any doubts, feel free to pm or email me in my profile...
2007-03-26 17:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention children.
I think its time to start afresh. I was unhappily married, and the best thing I ever did was get divorced. There's a world out there, waiting to be discovered. Sure, it's no fun being single, but are you happy? Is it better to be with a man whom you know is constantly lying to you?
You don't need to take on the responsibilities for his happiness or your parents. And I wouldn't be quiet about it, I would tell them where the problem lies.
You're only splitting up because he is being deceitful and cheating on you. Not because you've got nothing better to do.
2007-03-26 01:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can hardly read your question! Why all the abbreviations??? What is a "KTV"? What is an "sms"? What is an "HDB Flat"? I think I sorted it out, though... and my advice is to leave him and be happy. It is nice of you to want to support him, but how many chances does he deserve? It's one thing to go to a strip club with the guys (if nothing happens except looking!), but for him to have been with a prostitute??? And how many times has he done it WITHOUT you discovering it??? I'd say you've been more than fair, and you deserve a man who will love and respect you, and this is YOUR decision, not your parents! Do what will make you happy!!
2007-03-26 01:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand where you are coming from. I can imagine that you are dependant on him. But I would stil suggest that you divorce him. He is not going to change. Yes, if you get a divorce, offcourse you will be sad and miserable and it will be difficult in the beginning, but later on you will realize that you did the right thing. Every woman deserves to be treated with respect, and deserves to be loved and cared for. When you marry someone you are suppose to be their one and only. Nobody wants to share. Why should you be miserable while he is enjoying his life with other woman. No, be strong, and get rid of him. I am sure you will find someone who can give you their undevided attention, and someone who will be willing to care and love you and only you. Good luck, I will be thinking of you. Do you have any children?
2007-03-26 01:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by MaryP 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kick him to the curb. You are too forgiving as he keeps doing the same thing knowing that you have forgiven him in the past.
Put fear into him and set him straight by kicking him out and if by chance you want to try it again. Make him work for it. You deserve better and he seems to fall back into doing what he wants. And with all the diseases and such out there he might give you something that can be a death sentence.
If you are financially dependent and attractive there are plenty of other men who would be thankful for a partner like yourself.
Good luck with whatever you choose. My prayers are with you.
2007-03-26 01:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by cgslady96 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and I are sisters in this. Except my loser of a husband has not committed a "carnal" act, yet. Tho he had plans to meet a skank this coming summer.
I am having a hard time dumping his ****, too. He knows no one in this state. He has a lousy job. My kids from my deceased husb are attached to him. My business might suffer if I divorce him.
But, you and I both need to do divorce our no good husbands. Especially you. You have tried hard even catching him three times. He will end up giving you a disease.
I'll pray for you, too. I feel for you.
2007-03-26 01:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should divorce him. He is never going to change. Once a cheater always a cheater.
He is using you anyway. He is dependent on you and sleeping with prostitutes? What are you getting from that?
You are better off saying goodbye and letting him fend for himself. You sound like you could easily take care of yourself and you do not need him.
Take care and Good Luck,
Troy
2007-03-26 01:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is crazy, while it's ok to forgive and make things work, there must be a limit. your husband sounds like he will NEVER stop, especially since he has experienced what's out there. you need to step outta this mess and get yourself checked out. What if he did this unprotected, what will be your position if you stay and he brings home HIV. think about this very carefully before you make your decision and think with your brains not your feelings, this could cost you the most valuable thing you have, YOUR LIFE.
2007-03-26 02:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to top Anton Chigurh or The Terminator. How about Mel Gibson as William Wallace in Braveheart? :)
2016-03-17 02:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Nedra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the mom saying to the child, "If you do that 1 more time you'll get a time out/spanking" - whatever - and never following through. The child learns there are no consequences to his actions. Maybe a separation is what he needs to hear that you really mean it - this behavior is unacceptable to you and disrespectful to the relationship. He is acting like a spoiled child! Good luck. Do what is best for YOU.
2007-03-26 01:38:33 · answer #11 · answered by twirlingskirt 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋