Me and my wife (of 15years) have been seperated for 4 months now. We have our ups and downs like any other couples. This weekend we spent time together with the kids and had a couple of meals together. Last night she came over after the kids were asleep, and we had sex, it had been a while so we went at it for quite a while. When we were done she fell asleep. I had to wake her up so she could go home to the kids. she called me from the driveway of her house crying and said that I deserve beter, and why do I want her. She says she can't give me what I want. (A future) Did I do something wrong? Should I just take the hint? I,m very confused?!?! Has anyone else been there?
2007-03-26 01:13:54 · 13 answers · asked by BryTheFishGuy.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. but it looks like this is emotional thing for her than it may be for you. you are a man, sex sex, bang bang. but for her she felt emotional... i mean may be she didn't want to go home after you had sex.... and she felt all those ups and downs emotions, where is the marriage, family, love, effection... she felt all emotions and it's been confusing in her head... the problems you both have, also the good sex... etc...
why don't you ask her to move back together. She's a woman, having so much work going on with the kids, her stress life, and she needs a man like you to take care of her, not herself back to the house and back her home duties. Women and sex don't work just like that. You need to put emotions and understanding into it as well. Best thing to do, is find a time to meet her up again and force her to open up and ask what she wants and also what you want.
COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION. Don't you men understand this? I know this problem with lots of people, all is because you men are nothing else but a bit of sleepy puppies. WAKE UP AND TASTE THE BITTERNESS THE WOMAN IS GOING THROUGH OUT THERE, AND SHOW HER SECURITY, LOVE, EFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING. The end of the day, that's what marriage is all about! not hunky punky!
2007-03-26 01:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by Spark S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been there but it sounds like she feels that you are a much better person than she is. For some reason it seems like she has low self esteem. Why don't you let her know how great you think she is as not only your wife but as a mother and overall human being. Sounds like she is very down on herself for some reason. Why not try to sort it out with her. You didn't do anything wrong at all but by not being there for her now would hurt her more. Ask her what she thinks you expect from her. Some women just feel that they don't deserve to be loved by a good man.
2007-03-26 01:39:01 · answer #2 · answered by Jade AvA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to find out why she thinks she isn't good enough for you and why she thinks that you deserve better than her. Sounds like her self esteem is extremely low. Maybe she can't cope with handling you and the kids at the same time. Talk to her and try not to get sexual with her when you do. That may be another reason for her to pull away. She may feel as if she has to go to bed with you every time you hug her or comfort her. Many women will push a man away if there isn't any romance before hand. Women don't like to just jump in the sack like you men do. A hug and a kiss is wonderful without the desert.
2007-03-26 01:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by Tinkerbell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she doesn't have confidence in herself as a wife or commited women.. Maybe she likes living freely and doesnt want to settle down? But if shes got kids and a great person to care for her, ask her what else she wants? Why is she scared of having it so good. Tell her that she should enjoy you loving her, come back, and if in the future she finds something that is just too awsome and something she wants so badly that she can have it. Sometimes that will lead to a divorce, but a healthy one. My parents were happily married for 15 years, got a divorce, stayed friends, and my mom pursed a job out West. It was a big change in her life that she needed to make, and my dad said that that was fine, its human nature for people to change lifestyles. tell her to live the good life with you now, because shes missing out and if later shes sees its not fullfilling her, she can take a new path. But she is waiting for nothing honestly. I just think its a case of "she thinks shes getting tied down."
2007-03-26 01:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What really happened after 15 years for you both to seperate and for her to feel this way? Thats a long time to be married to each other and then all of a sudden seperate and her tell you that you deserve better...
2007-03-26 01:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was relaxing bside u n may b wanted to spend some more time ,u called her for that might b 4 that?
Or another reason can b that is might b slept wid someone else (bf)thinking that u dont love her. But when u made love wid her n wake her up to go home n take care of d kids ,might then she realised ur love 4 her n kids n regreat 4 wat she did!
2007-03-26 01:24:21 · answer #6 · answered by sherry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is having some problems in the self-esteem area. If she came to you and was comfortable enough to fall asleep after sex, It's a sign to me that she still loves you. Take it easy and keep the door open. Good-luck.
2007-03-26 01:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to hold close that. the full element happens for a reason, I evaluate that is in a great way. If we somewhat look after that top, we oughta attempt to create new happy memories for that character..I do assume unhappy in spite of the reality that, although feeling unhappy can no longer help to hold lower back those thoughts. playstation : UC , how did she lose her memory?
2016-12-08 11:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by bocklund 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you deserve better. as i see from what you wrote, you've been separated for a while. there must have been reasons for this. and you know them well.
if you love her, then fight for her. maybe she's been hurt. i believe that she pulls aways just because she's afraid of not going through the same experiences.
for the kids' sake you have to solve the situation the best way possible.
2007-03-26 01:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by AnneMarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she has a lots of insecurities...she only need assurance. tell to her that she is the right one for you and you even ended each other and exchanged vows. and now you have fruits of love which your children and maybe its worth trying for second time around. and patch up the shortcomings, well if you wish her to comeback also. good luck.
2007-03-26 01:42:37 · answer #10 · answered by taurust_girl27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋