We live in Florida and are moving back up north, where are family lives, so we can have our first child. It is both of our home towns. My fiance used to have very bad habits but since I met him has been clean and very wonderful. We aren't moving back to that town, but I'm still worried he will go back to his old friends who still smoke and he will start being a jerk like he used to be when he was younger. He says he wont but the other day he said he couldnt wait to see "so & so" again!! I want to have a good healthy family and I don't want to see it go down the drain. The move is definate, what should I do?
2007-03-26 01:02:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
See what happens. Sounds like your husband has grown up! Even though he wants to see his old friends doesn't mean he'll go back to how he use to be!
2007-03-26 01:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. are you sure you have to move?
places and towns, countries and things change people.
I have moved from where i come, and i am such a different person here. As soon as I am back my place on holidays, people, friends, family all think i'm same old person and if i ever stay there more than a month, i think i will very easily end up back to who i was with the mentality and the attitute of my friends, family, and culture.
But i know a friend who did this, and after 10 years being in USA, settlted where she comes from, where we both come from. But she is an absolute changed person, now with a family. I think it is all in your OWN HANDS as the woman of the house to control your life with your husband and family. It may be quite hard because men can be like babies and going back to childhood since they very rarely grow up, but you be firm, hold things as they are and control things wthout showing him that you are doing it, just gently and yet firmly.
First arrive where and whenver you will, and take things from there onwards. I have a friend of my partner that i can't stand him, and sometimes he kept calling the house, one day i just spoke to him myself and put him straight right on the ground. since then he is even afraid to call, let alone approach. He was not the right group of person, so people who like living a hell life, that's where they should stay and your husband's friends should just stay where they were, and your husband should be proud to have such a good woman like yourself and try to look the right path of life, not the hell path.
good luck
2007-03-26 08:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living away from his friends has probably helped. I'm sure he doesn't want to return to his old ways either so trust his word and maybe he will find he doesn't have enough in common with them to still see them very often. I am sure he will want to catch up with them but maybe the first couple times you could go with and put your mind at ease.
2007-03-26 08:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust him, im sure he doesn't want to have a unhealthy family too. He is matured now compared before. Just don't nag him and give him freedom. See him hanging with old friends and celebrate somehow it would be normal ,for old times sake. Just don't push him to do things.good luck
2007-03-26 08:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by taurust_girl27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe my answer is about what you shouldn't do. Don't make any threats you can't or won't live up to.
And,, how would he feel if you suddenly started talking about seeing some old boyfriend you had in hometown??
2007-03-26 08:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jo Blo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY move back? You are ok there...if something isn't broke why fix it? If you THINK things may go bad if you move back north then they will go bad...it is your inner voice saying do not move...don't move....you can see family on vacations..you go there..they come to see you.....write..send letters..e-mail...telephone....
2007-03-26 08:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust his word and be there to assist him if he falls back into his old habits.
2007-03-26 08:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First try to change him by soft speaking & explaining him what spoiling your mental health and how it affects your future relations...
Even he didn`t turnedup leave him to his own hell & just search for your new heaven.
2007-03-26 08:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by swaagat143 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋