i almost had sex with a friend but i freaked at the last second and nothing ended up happening but now he isn't talking to me and i don't want our friendship to be over but i don't know what to say to him...what should i do?
2007-03-26 01:01:04 · 14 answers · asked by Christina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
this happened back in august and since then i have moved 3 hours for college...i have made a few attempts to talk to him through myspace but he just reads my messages and doesn't reply...i don't know if he even still likes me
2007-03-26 01:08:37 · update #1
um...it was really really close to happening...he said that he understood and that he didn't want to push me into it(it would have been my first time)
2007-03-26 01:10:28 · update #2
ever since that day i can't stop thinking about what would have happened if i hadn't freaked out and it had become more than a friendship...i mean i'm really attracted to him...i still am even though its been months since i've talked to him...
2007-03-26 01:14:23 · update #3
well forget him , you ll find a better person:.
2007-04-03 00:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Hope Summer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like you didn't do it because you weren't ready for it, and it sounds like was nice enough to respect that! that's actually positive. i'll give you the other scenario... you could have gone ahead, not being ready, and he could have gone along with it, knowing that you really didn't feel like doing this for the first time under those circumstances, and right now, you probably wouldn't be talking either, and you would be regretting it a lot more.
the fact that he doesn't respond to your emails, etc., could be because 1- he lost interest, i mean let's face it, some guys are like that, and in that case "good riddance", be glad you didn't get more involved with him, or 2- he's a little freaked out about what happened and he's trying to let some time pass before you guys get in touch again; maybe he's realized you're really into him and it has taken him by surprise?
In any case, don't wallow in it.... move on. if he reconnects, great, if not- you're in college now! enjoy your time there, you'll meet TONS of new people, and new guys. maybe you'll find a special one. Whatever you do... don't rush into sex at the first opportunity to try to fix what happned here. Remember that what you did, saying no when you were not ready, was actually a good thing. Wait for the right time and the right person... I guarantee you, you'll be glad you did.
good luck!
2007-03-26 12:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by chickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you are home for a weekend try to arrange to go out in public with some friends where he will be too. Maybe it will be the easiest way for him to just be around you , ( with buffers around so it can't get too serious ). Then try and work up to the point where the 2 of you can actually talk. But in the end, I feel that you should not have sex with him. At least not until you rebuild a relationship. Sex can ruin a relationship, but not a friendship. That's just my opinion.
2007-03-26 11:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Eveready 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's embarassed, disappointed that he didn't get to do what he thought he was going to do, and maybe feels rejected that he got that far and you still pushed him away. But he knows that you had some feelings of attraction to even let him get that far. Back off and don't get in touch with him. You made the attempt on Myspace and now he's witholding attention from you - if he liked you the way you would like him to like you (romantically), you wouldn't be able to stop him from communicating with you! Being at college, meet new people and date. Enjoy yourself and forget this.
2007-04-02 09:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a person can have sex with anybody when they're caught up in the moment.
The big question I'd have for you is...."what happens next?"
Can you walk away and dismiss the incident? Is the act the 2 of you shared going to be on your mind---if the boy you're crazy about chooses to "walk away and ignore you?"
And do you think you'll begin to acquire a reputation (via 'word of mouth' from others) for being easy to get into bed or into the back seat of a van?
Just about everything each of us does has some sort of repercussion!
2007-04-03 04:30:48 · answer #5 · answered by argytunes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's embarassed that you got close and didn't go through with it. But if he was a real friend he wouldn't be treating you this way! Maybe send him one last message and say that you'd really like to be his friend and you miss talking to him and tell him the ball's in his court now since you've tried to contact him. Then just leave it up to him to get back in touch with you. If he doesn't then he isn't the best person to be friends with if he'll ignore you because of something like this!
2007-03-26 11:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of talking to him on the Internet, why don't you try talking to him in person. Make sure he doesn't have a way to get out of the conversation also. Tell him that you're really attracted to him, and that wasn't the reason why you didn't do it. Tell him you were just overwhelmed and nervous because it was your first time. I hope this helps.
2007-03-26 11:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by LISA STEWART R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on how close you mean by almost. If it was after he was naked, he might have taken it as a personal insult. Men are as body conscious as we are, they just hide it a little better. Otherwise, he is probably just frustrated and will get over it.
2007-03-26 08:07:43 · answer #8 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he obviously wasn't worth bothering about. It's his fault for him to not make you feel comfortable. As for your friendship he obviously isn't a true friend as he is now angry that you didn't sleep with him. He obviously wants more then friendship. It's up to you.
2007-03-26 08:10:09 · answer #9 · answered by Dr Sherior 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he thinks that you dont like him becase you freaked out.
i think you should go round to his and tell him how you feel and tell him how much you like him and that you sorry about freaking out that it wasnt nothing personal.
goodluck hunni
love laura
xxx
2007-03-26 11:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real friend wouldn't treat you that way...just move on
2007-03-26 08:09:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋