How should I approach my ex wife about letting me see the kids?

Question

We are not on good terms. She is going all out to make sure I breaksown. I had custody because she left the kids with me. I went to court and requested that I have temp full custody officially. She said I was a threat and lost the kids to her. Its now been a year and a half since I last saw my then 1 year old son and 3 year old daughter. I ended up getting monitored visitations twice a week but she doesnt cooperate. She went to court and got a restraining order on me for three years, and an arrest warrant was issued for me. I was taken in for the warrant and just finished court. I have to do domestic violence classes which I couldnt because I have no transportation License got suspended due to child support, and i am unemployed. I might go to jail and I really want to see my kids before I go. I know if i see them it will give me hope again. Thats my story.

she left the kids with me for 2 months. The mother of my children left a 7 month old infant and 2 year old lil girl and her daughter who was 8. A week later she came and picked up her daughter, the 8 year old from a prevous relationship, and seperated the siblings. She did a year before leaving call police and accused me of hitting her. I was then placed on probation which thanks to her restraining and her new boyfriend, violated my probation. After having the kids to monitored visitations? If I was such a threat why two months with the kids? She worked while I stayed home. Custody was to be exchanged right after court and she states she couldnt until the next day because she was getting her stuff from her moms. Adding an extra day with the dangerous parent, what? Minors Counsel was appointed and I spoke to him about having her on tape when she asked me to watch the kids which is the date of the restraining order request. He informs her of this then right after ask to

he informed her of what I told him and tells her what to say to the judge. Before she is asked he ask the Judge to be dismissed as Minors counsel. Judge asks her about the tape which she admits to asking me despite court orders, it was the same judge, and it has no effect. Tape records her asking me, the parent that is a "threat" to watch the kids overnight, when the court order states MONITORED. The day she calls and asks me to watch the kids she changed her mind and forget about it is what she says. After she calls police two hours later, she calls me and sets a different day for me to watch the kids and talk on the phone for 1 hour. She didnt tell me she called them. I have phone records to prove and also the ones to the sheriffs after I left her house. I have to get my life together?? I did have my life together until I went to court.The question is how do I approach her.....????I tried twice this week after the last time I saw her was when she testified agaisnt me.

Answer 1

For your information Angeleye - it is not a lie ! They do take mens Drivers' licenses away for back childsupport , he is not lying ! I am a woman , and I know it is true . (In Cali. , Washington State , and Alaska !) Probably many others too . Anyways , I do feel for you , but I also agree that you need to fix all these setbacks in your life before you can even try to start a relationship with your kids . They are still young , you still have some time to get your **** together ! I will pray for you too . Huggs .

Answer 2

You need to consider that at this point in their life, the children may be better off without you in their lives. If you are a threat to the mother of your children, if the courts feel you must be supervised while visiting your kids, if the court issued a restraining order against you, if you are required to attend domestic violence classes, if you are remiss in your child support payments, if you are unemployed, and if you run the risk of serving jail time, then you may not be what your kids need right now. Consider their needs above everything else. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Well MR. you did do alot wrong it sounds like even though you are trying to make her out the bad guy..If the court thought you were not the parent the children should be with? Then you should not be. And if there is a restraining order..?? the court found you guilty...so you probably were..and if you can't drive? WHat DUI? AND you do not work? OH BROTHER>.........it sounds like you need to grow up.you do not get your license taken away due to child support either. You are a liar on top of it. ANd why are you going to jail? You broke the law. Your children do not need that type of father. You do your time...get professional help while you are in there....admit you did wrong and are wrong and take responsibility for what you did and then ask her to see your children. SHOW her you changed and please, for your children get on the right path..they need you! I'll pray for you!

Answer 4

Get your life straight before you impose yourself into your children's lives again. If you are not working, you don't support them. Now you want them to see you just long enough to keep asking for you while you are in jail?? If you love your children you will not do that to them. That is just wrong.
When you get out of jail, get a job, get some form of transportation, and go to the domestic violence classes. File for visitation rights, and ask that the court have someone to go with you to pick them up, so that there will be a witness that you have done her no harm. If she refuses to do what the court orders, she will be in contempt of court. You can then file charges against her.

Answer 5

There is more to the story then you are telling us.If you were ordered to take domestic violence classes then that in itself is a problem..The fact that you had Supervised visits is another issue and your license was suspended for not fulfilling your obligations and paying for your childrens support I can tell you that you are not going to look good at all infront of the judge and that is who you need to see in order to see your children..If there is a restraining order on you it is unlikely that the judge is going to allow you to see the children.Sound's like you have a lot of issues to deal with and a lot of growing up to do.You need to catch up on your child support and show that you are a responsible parent which you have failed to show so far..

Answer 6

This very hurting I should say, but let me not contemplate on that.

Ok, basically your ex-wife did a big number on you. I would suggest that you dont come any close to her and the kids because as of right now she has deemed you a danger to her kids. She will stop at nothing to demolish you, it is evident to you that she is capable. Now what you can do is hold on to whatever you have of your kids, that will give you faith. Consult with your lawyer on what you can do after the jail term which is legal to get you to see your kids. I know this does not seem helpful but trust me, this will work out for you, just have patience. I hope you ex-wife knows that what goes around comes back around.

Just maybe, you should hard on you anger controll because that can and will work against you, also be in your best behavior as you need the judges to see your genuine self which is the man you are, and that you are fit to raise your kids and do not pose a danger to your kids.

P.S. Get a female lawyer, they are the best in these feminine cases.

Answer 7

Dear I am really very sorry 4 u but what happened between u two that this situation had to come?? I think u n she should sit and discuss on the matter.I think u love ur kids?? I think u love ur wife as well.Make the first move go to her and say sorry for everything ,no matter whose fault. Apologies , assure her for a healthy family life atleast tell her to give a chance.
Best of luck.

Answer 8

First of all eliminate the excuses and accept responsibility for your actions. I get the opinion your wife left you because of spousal abuse.
If your children are as important as you say, you're going to have to do a 360 degree turn in life and start acting like a father.
ANGEL- They do suspend your license in CA if you do not pay your child support.

Answer 9

you need to control your temper but don,t beat yourself up about it as i have had a bad temper, what makes you angry and frustrated you need to deal with this and i think you have a low self esteem otherwise you would take no notice of things and not let people upset you. Go and get some counselling it will do you good and help you to understand yourself their are counsellors at the doctors surgury they are normally good mine was and they are trained not to just but you help you look at issues in your life objectively. It will show you aim to improve Your special God loves you and in time you will see your kids God bless

Answer 10

Sounds like you need a really good lawyer. Women know how to use the courts to get all they want and its up to you to take the gloves off and find some help.