why is bisexuality unacceptable to many in the gay/lesbian community (and heterosexual community)?

Question

I mean unacceptable as in looked down upon.

Why is it that so many people assume that bisexuals just can't choose sides or that they just wanted to sleep with everyone & anyone at anytime, that they are more premescious and not to be trusted? I'm sure that some are, but just as much as anyone else.

why is it so hard for people- even in the gay/lesbian community- to believe that bisexuals know exactly what they want, and that thing happens to be love...and that it just does not limit by gender. That being bisexual does not mean that the person will just sleep with anyone, or be more likely to cheat. That bisexual people also want to find that special person and might actually be satisfied by that person alone. That they 'like' who they 'like' and don't limit to a gender.

I know that sometimes it's not easy to understand the sexual preference of others...but please don't invalidate them.

I honestly believe that bisexuals are very discriminated against (& transgendered)

interesting comment about people believing that bisexuality is a choice rather than anything else (liek genetics or such). I really disagree, but it's interesting in any case. I didn't know that others in the queer community think that it's a choice for us.hmm...

Answer 1

I am not speaking for every lesbian on this earth, but I personally feel that bisexuals were given that bad stigma by someone's involvement with them.

I'm sure there was a lesbian couple torn apart by some bisexual lesbian in that equation. Same goes for gay men.

I don't know when this started or why. I must though say, that everyone is discriminated against. GLBT and straight people are discriminated against every day! It just really depends on the region. Its sad.

Maybe bisexuals should say they are sexually fluent. Love is love.

Don't let anyone make you feel any less because you choose to keep an open mind to men and women. If you know deep down inside that you are honest and loyal, then you are not like the bisexual stereotype!

Answer 2

This is the real issue that needs to be tackle. I do not understand as a LGBTI member why we should discriminate against, bisexuals or anyone else because we want to be understood the way we are. Sexual orientation is just one of the interesting matters that needs more research conduct. Another division can be clearly identified between gays and lesbians; there seems to be that defining line. What it is or says I do not understand. I read somewhere that some feminist lesbians want nothing to do with gay men because for the it is about fighting men dominance it is not really about sex. I found that uneasy to understand.

Answer 3

I think bisexuals for one arent born that way...why because u cant be born with the feelings to be attracted to both sexes...can u? ...actually u kno wot...i think being bisexual is TRUTH....and i think every1 is bisexual....but because there is all this crap like u said, if ur bisexual u cant make up or mind about things and bla bla bla....people tend to just choose one and stick to it so that they dont get discrimnated any further but i think that people should go with the flow and love and be attracted to whoever they feel they are at that time...this kind of opened my eyes because as much as i love girls, i do check out guys and find some guys attractive. I just have never been in love with one as all my past loves have been with girls...thats just how my life pinned out. Maybe one day the tables will turn and ill be in love with a guy aye? who knows..why does it matter...as long as ur happy with that person and all...its all good. :)

Answer 4

Most people will see bisexuals as traitors to their own sexuality, people who cannot make up their minds in choosing a sexual partner and who will experience relationships with people of both genders without considering that some people may only like to have sex with either heterosexuals or homosexuals.

Evolutionists say that bisexuality was the primordial sexuality of our ancestors, a way of coping in the wilderness when people from the opposite sex were unavailable for months or even years. It is not strange that in many societies, nowadays, for example in Papua New Guinea, indigenous people practice what looks a form of homosexuality, but if yu look closer it is indeed bisexuality. Since men will practice sex with men in certain social and political contexts but will marry women to procriate and make sure they leave offspring. It is a bit like ancient Greece.

I personally believe that all sxualities are valid. It is an error to assume that if a man has sex with another man he is a homosexual... he might not be homosexual. He might not even be bisexual, he might be a curious heterosexual. If you are really interested in sexuality, do some research and you will find that sexuality is more than 3 or 4 categories that we learnt to understand. There are hundreds of sexualities, as there are different people in the world. Sexualities were clustered for easy interpretation and I blame researchers like me who for not understanding completely sexualities will call someone gay or lesbian or bi just because they act like that.

I am a defendor of diversity and I like to call things by their names. So, before I move on to classify someone as this or that... first I like to know the person and see what the person really likes. Sometimes people don't even know there is more that bisexuality, homosexuality and heterosexuality, and like me will discover that so much later. I am homosexual because that's how I learnt to see myself from younger age, but if it was today I would probably call myself a pansexual or autosexual, depending on my mood. Sexualityc an be as flexible as we are and can be shaped to our daily actions and routines.

We should not limit ourselves to a classification, as if we were items in a supermarket with a label saying 'low in calories', 'high in saturated fats' and so on. I believe that in the future we should look at people as people and not sexual items.

Answer 5

Well I must be one of the fortunate few who hasn't come across such harsh criticism for being bisexual and I can only feel extremely sorry for those that have been in the front line of it.

My assumption would be that society feels the need to label everything. Take a look at todays youth, you have so many different labels (chav, townie, emo, goth, hippie, skater, nerd), and all of them feel the need to belong to one certain clique. Even those that don't want to be bogged down with a label inevitably end up with something written across them (their absence of label collectively joins them together in their own clique). Have a look at politics as well. In the US you are quite clearly Republican, Democrat or Independant. Here in the UK you are Labour, Conservative, Liberal or Independant (Independant in both cases representing minorities).

I could only guess then that because bisexuals aren't "tied" to any particular gender hetero/homosexuals could feel threatened by their distinct lack of labelling.

Answer 6

If you really want the truth of the matter consider this, it isn't looked down on, it's personal fears that make many shy away. It isn't so much as being seen as greedy as a fear of being unable to compete. If your "date/lover" leaves you for someone of another gender, how could you "compete" to win them back? A man can't do/offer the exact same things a woman can and vice versa. If a man is left for another man the one left out can at least compare and contrast what he has to offer as compared to the "competition". With men and women there is no real comparison, each gender is something specifically unique to itself and there are certain things they neither can offer or do.
In my opinion that is why many seem so negative toward bisexuals, insecurity that if the person were to leave you for the opposite gender that there would be no way to compete to "win them back".

Answer 7

I watched a Tyra Banks show that catered just to that question and the Lesbians in the show felt that bisexual women "couldn't make up their minds" or were looked at by bisexual women as "play objects" just for sexual adventures.They feel that being bisexual is a choice. These women really prefer men but expand their sexual experiences for their men.(ie. threesomes, orgies) But remember: unprotected sex can KILL)In Centretown Ottawa's gay community there is a syphilis outbreak!

Answer 8

Most people feel that you have to have either or because of narrow-mindness. It seems absolutely unfathomable that you can like, love and have sex with both genders. Most people I know told their parents that they were bi at first as a means to cushion the blow of being completely gay. I feel that if you are bi and you have the understanding of both people, or if you are with one person at time, it doesn't matter, becuase despite what some people think. It doesn't hurt more if that person cheats with the opposite sex. Cheating is cheating.

Answer 9

Well I believe that ost gay people see bisexuality as just plain greedy, and bisexuals should just make a choice, personally I think all sexuality regardless of what it is can be whatever the individual wants it to be.

Answer 10

It's not a choice. But people dump on it because most people eventually want to couple with someone, and lots of bisexuals out there (no offense to you) have trouble committing or being faithful. Lots of bisexuals think it's ok to date someone and have another lover on the side and expect everyone to be ok with that, OR they only tell one of their lovers while keeping the other lover a secret.... Sometimes a relationship evolves and a bisexual expects their lover to accept them taking another lover... Everybody often ends up getting hurt. Relationships tend to work best when there's not three people involved. I don't care what anyone says, because they'll grow up and find out for themselves. And YES, some bisexuals find one special person to settle down with, but lots of bisexuals are NOT like that and they hurt people by having a boyfriend AND a girlfriend... Nobody wants to give themselves to someone who won't commit, and that's why bisexuals are often called "greedy" or "selfish." I know that the greedy ones will be giving me the thumbs-down. It's ok, because some day they too will see that relationships in threes don't work and someone typically gets hurt. No offense to you - I am just telling you WHY bisexuals get a bad rap. Most people don't think bi's are tramps, but their approach to dating isn't very fair and they don't work out for long unless they DO pick one way or another...