gay mum out of closet?

Question

i only came out 3 yrs ago i have 2 adult children and divorced and single for many years,i knew i was attracted to same sex from been 16 but never did anything about it bcos had strict parents (ok i was a wimp)but wen my kids left home decided to tell them and rest of family and after inital shock they have been very surportive exept my mum ...do you think many women go through life surpressing there feelings just to make others happy and to follow "the norm" wud like your opionions please

im 43 wud also like to ask how do gays that never been with a man or had children percive us that av ,many thanx

Answer 1

The first step of accepting yourself is to look at your past, take a look at it, archive it and then move forward with your life. It is commendable that you have finally accepted yourself and your needs. Rememeber, my friend that from now on you must do you first. By the way, men and women suppress their feelings in part due to unrelenting parents and conservative societies () but that doesn't mean times can't change---give your mum time....when it comes to love..regardless of how bad or good....mums and moms are still there (at least many of them are). I will have you in my thoughts because sometimes we need that connection of understanding from other people in the world and not feel so alone :).....by the way it is good thing your children are understandable and don't object to your lifestyle, which I think is a reflection on how you raised them in way that they can view the world with an open mind--2 points for you!

Answer 2

Hey don't call yourself a wimp, the fact that you did gather the courage to finally lead a life without any qualms or without having to hide anything about you. There are many people around the world who are faced with a similar dilemma, but will perhaps never have the guts to deal with it. They'd much rather be happy in the so called security being in the closet provides.
At least you have been honest, and that's what counts in the end. Your mother, if she really understands you, or ever wanted to, will sooner or later accept the fact, and will be your mother forever. If she doesn't, let it be.
You have done well, and you deserve a hug. Cheer up, I am sure things will fall into place.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. I'm a 28 year old girl who came out to my Mom at 18, but she had a hard time dealing with it. She kicked me out of the house, screamed at me, and made disturbing sexual comments to me that really hurt. However, through the years just to make my Mom happy, I have dated men and have talked about getting married, but getting married is not where my heart is set. Even the men I date, I don't feel attracted. I don't have that butterfly feeling or that happy good feeling deep down inside myself. I only feel that way with women. I've had dated a few women and had my first girlfriend last year, but we broke up. I still try to date men because maybe one day, I'd feel that spark or attraction towards them, but I honestly feel like I'm wasting my time. With women, the spark is immediate!!! That's seriously what I want!! I want to be with another woman!!!

I'm very sorry you had to wait this long to finally be comfortable with yourself and not worry too much about the others around you. Me, I'm working on that...You and I are not alone because there are thousands of others in the same situation!

God bless you and good luck!

Answer 4

Wow - you're a different view of a part of my own life. My mother was raised as a Catholic and tried to be "straight". She was married and had six children ( okay, she was a GOOD Catholic) before she allowed herself to be true to her self. There was foster homes, family disownings, counseling and legal action involved before I was allowed to be raised by my own biological mother.

I applaud my mother as well as you for the strength and courage you both display.

I would be more than happy to talk to you via e-mail about this. Our family was even a topic family in a documentary to be shown in court custody cases for Lesbian women raising children.

I can't guarantee it, but I believe my mom would be willing to discuss her experience with you as well. (She's a wonderfully smart, witty woman)

I can be reached through the e-mail address in my profile.

Best wishes-

Answer 5

good for you pat on the back i also came out about 6 years ago and lost the support of the entire family except for my daughter and im now 40 and also like i yes i suppressed how i felt because i knew what a bunch of homophobes my family really are at least now am content with where i am in my sexuality if no where else in life and am only content because im being true to myself so good for you go for it

Answer 6

I think many--both men and women --deny themselves real happiness in their sexualitly because of pressures from without. That is what were are continually striving for: the ability to be ourselves.