What is wrong with me?

Question

I feel like I hate interracial relationships (black and white people only) but yet I'm in love with/dating a white guy.

Everytime I see an interracial couple on tv, I just immediately think that they would look better with someone of their own race. I even roll my eyes and look up away. When I see them in public, I admire them.

I don't know why I feel that way since I'm mainly attracted to white men.

So, what is wrong with me?

I really hate the fact that I'm attracted to white men (I'm teased a lot) but I just can't imagine being with a black one.

Could that be a part of the problem?

Answer 1

Lots of possible answers, here are a few ideas:

You've developed a negative view of black men while you've grown up. Maybe just one bad example is the cause.

You had the interracial couples because you get teased about your taste in men and you are self-conscious about it.
Or, it's kind of a learned reaction from how those around you react.

.... One thing I would try is this: good idea here!
Sit down and ask yourself WHY you feel that way about these people. Maybe you have to ponder it for a while, but choose an answer.... For example "because they would look better with someone of their own race".

Then ask WHY again? here u will probably start to understand why you think that way, because you will realize that you have no right to judge them. you don't even know these people. people don't have any right to judge you also.

etc etc, I don't know exactly what you're answers will be, but don't stop asking WHY until you are satisfied with the answer. Good luck!

Answer 2

I have an idea of what you mean.

You NEVER see an interracial couple in the media who consists of a black girl and a white guy. It's always a black guy and a white girl. Unfortunately, all too often is the black guy portrayed as a sex-craved moron while the white girl is portrayed as a slut who's as loose as a used sock. If you can hate these fictional interracial relationships but smile with pride at whatever REAL interracial relationship you see, I congratulate you. You seem to understand what it's supposed to mean. :)

As for you being ONLY attracted to white guys, I don't know where that's coming from. But hey... thanks for the compliment. ;) *lol*

Answer 3

The problem is that you are going against your own belief system and that's where your conflict lyes now you may be attracted to a caucasion male but the true want's to be with your own kind so you need to do some soul searching and also your higher self also say's my race has not heal from the slavery or better yet I am not supporting my own race we are haveing a difficult time as it is so these are things you are in conflict with and also I might add maybe somehow you were hurt or imtimidated by a male of your own race sounds like somewhere you were frighten . when we go against ourselfs we allow worry fear and anxiety take controll of our lives if accept who we are on a deep level we no longer have conflict I maybe attracted to many things however does it produce the best me so when i going against me i going against the person GOD has made me and the very existance of whom I am.

Answer 4

Societal conflicts.

You understand the history behind racial relations, and that may be part of your disgust for interracial relationships...the idea that it is still taboo and not fully accepted may tie into this too...

...but at the same time, you may like how media portrays white men as heroes, charming, suave, powerful...and even see that played out in every day life.

...conversely, especially as a black woman, you may have had bad experiences with black men that stand out in your mind, stemming from many different reasons, and that might have turned you off to them in general.

Or maybe just phenotypically, you think those of the same race just look better together...

Whatever the case, please don't give up on any one race, but it's okay to find who you find attractive.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have some internal conflict issues. perhaps related to the guilt of you liking white men given the history of white and black in america but also perhaps guilt for attraction to them for perhaps the wrong reason, perceived associateion with better chance of opportunity/money/power?

I think you should lay off dating anyone for a while and be alone to allow yourself to figure out where your head is at and why or else you will always be self consious and potentially detrimental to your own relationships.

Answer 6

there's no explaining who you're attracted to. a lot of people get into interracial relationships just to look good, and maybe that's what bugs you: it's humans as fashion accessories (like celebs adopting babies). or maybe you have issues with white people in general? that could be more problematic, because if that's who you're attracted to, you could end up feeling unfairly negative towards yourself.

it's just people. my family laughed at me for my chinese boyfriend, but now they drop hints about weddings.

Answer 7

Your feelings are a trait that is learned behavior.

If you can find attractions/love, who cares. (As long as whitie is of legal age.) Finding a partner, mate, is a gift out of life.

Don't damper it by generations of bigotry and hate.

It wasn't that long ago that you (as a black woman) could even be allowed to share an open relationship with someone you cared for if he /she was out of you race.

Cherish life, dear. not pigmentation.

Answer 8

I don't know. Lots of people are that way. My friend only likes asian girls and mexican girls, he is a white. No big deal. Opposites attract and you like who you like. I like girls with bigs t i t s, I can't do anything about it, it's out of my control.

Answer 9

You are psychologically damaged by the racist society within which you live. See Michael Jackson and his attempts to become european. Pathetic and sick.

Answer 10

Dont worry too much dear. Just follow your heart and ask your head not to think too much.