It hurts when me and my fiance have sex and it usually hurts when i get tense how can i relax, also is there anyway without using toys or his penis that he can stretch my vagina im really tight, what can i do to relax?
2007-03-24 21:28:01 · 8 answers · asked by renee_0102 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
U get tense and it hurts u more....it is only becoz u r tensed n worried u dont tend to get stimulated enough and tht results in a less stretched vagina.I think u get tensed moreover due to the fear of pain and hurting urself while having sex..dont worry just try and calm urself and ask ur partner to use a lot of lubricant...stop thinking abt the pain its gonna cause u and try n involve urself more in the act also ask ur partner to go very slow and be assured once you are relaxed and out of fear it will hurt u less and u will enjoy more....i had a similar problem and believe me i just had to divert my mind from the pain aspect and it really worked for me.....
All the best.
2007-03-24 22:45:20 · answer #1 · answered by want_to_know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i hope you're ready for this - both ready for this. it's one thing to start having sex, it's another to be having sex with the one you'll be marrying.
next is foreplay. this usually helps. lots of it.
and even if you aren't together - just the mere thought of him, right? perhaps you could do the Kegel exercises (even if you're apart) while thinking/fantasising about him. and don't forget to be progressive and allow a few more imaginative instruments to come into play that aren't necessarily from an adult toy shop. also, even though there are lubricants available, sex is quite better if you know you started with your own natural lubrication. some no longer need anything that comes from a tube or a pot or anything else.
sex starts in the mind, so make that extra-effort to be relaxed, completely comfortable, in tune with your fiance, etc.
the more aroused one is - as a whole, physically, psychologically/ intellectually/ mentally, at a spiritual level, etc.,- the wetter one may get. and during the time one gets aroused, the vagina starts dilating.
also, two things: masturbation loosens you up, whether you do it alone or with your fiance. and if there are forms of erotica/pornography that helps you relax, that arouses, try those, too. preheat the whole of yourself (i think this may be why sex is considered the act of giving oneself "completely" - well, for you to enjoy it.)
And performing Kegel exercises when preheating, let's call it, helps. When watching a video or listening to something that arouses you, start with the simplest sets and when you've gotten the hang of it, hold for as long as you can for the next sets.
also, it's important want works for you. are you more into clitoral or vaginal stimulation etc.
talk to your fiance about it and explore each other's sexuality as a couple.
stay in love and follow your bliss.
best.
2007-03-25 00:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by ficklefeather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to get really tense myself, but I've gotten a lot better since I started incorporating massage into foreplay. It gets you much more relaxed than just starting out with typical foreplay and is great for both physical and emotional intimacy. You really learn to listen to and communicate to each other without words.
If that doesn't work, don't focus so much on the possibility that you might get tense; just enjoy the sensation and the intimacy that you're sharing with you fiance.
2007-03-24 23:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by mkbrocato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly explore the reasons why you are tense. If there is a reason then you may be able to decrease the level of tension you have.
You can't really stretch the vagina but the use of lubrication may assist. Use plenty of lube and intercourse may become more pleasurable for you both
Good luck
2007-03-24 21:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by skip22h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Foreplay, it helps to relax you and it makes you wet so that penetration will be a lot easier. Take your time, explore and open a line of communication with your fiance let him know whats going on.
2016-03-29 03:30:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that you are tensing up in anticipation of the pain.
Spend more time on foreplay, use plenty of lube and take your time.
Once you do it one time with no pain it will be easier after that.
2007-03-25 00:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by Julie R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be having enough foreplay before penetration. Try a longer period of foreplay, making sure that you have several orgasms. That will relax you and your body will produce its natural lubrication.
2007-03-25 03:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by aqx99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm sounds like his kabana aint big enough....
2007-03-24 22:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋