he claims they our just friends but he spent the whole day with her yesterday instead of seeing me and the kids should i be worried, his friends hate me and set the whole thing up to drive a wedge between us, feeling very insecure should i give up on him and go it alone?
2007-03-24 21:13:13 · 26 answers · asked by EMMA H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think you need to talk seriously to him, you dont say how long you have been together but am assuming the kids are his, it is fine to have friends of the opposite sex but not when you are excluded from the circle, this will drive a wedge between you, try including his friends by inviting them round for a drink, they probably dont hate you maybe they feel that you dont like them, have you ever given them a chance? as for the female friend this is not good because he is excluding you, if he is not willing to let you in then seriously consider this relationship particularly if the kids are suffering, how would he feel if you had a male friend that you put before him? point this out to him and be honest with him about how you feel, if he loves you then he will work ten fold to put it right, if not then he is treating you like a mug and as hard as it is, save yourself the heartache and go it alone, good luck
2007-03-24 21:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, Men Do Have Girl Friends And Mind Me Putting A Wedge On The Girl Friends Part,But To Spend A Whole Day With That Friend Is A Clear Red Light. That Girl Friend Is More Likely Trying To Be A Girlfriend To Him. That Is My Opinion, But For Him To Spend A Whole Day With Her Than That Is Just Wrong!!.Put That Fool In Check!!
2007-03-25 05:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by mizktic_1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your guy has female friends, you are entitled to have male friends. If he reacts negatively to this, call him on it. It all comes down to trust. If you don't feel you can trust him, I would be strongly reconsidering this relationship, and you definitely need to talk to him about this.
As for his friends that "hate" you, there's not a whole lot you can do there. I was in a relationship once, even engaged to the man, and once his fraternity brothers turned against me, there was no winning. He listened to everything they said, and even threw him a party when he broke things off. That should have been a big eye-opener to him that maybe things WEREN'T exactly how they made it appear.
From my experience with my husband, I don't have anything to worry about because he has introduced me to every single person he knows, male and female. I, in turn, have done the same. Very seldom do we do anything apart, but when we do, we both know where the other is and who the other is with, and know we can "check in" at any time to see how things are going. But trust is not an issue with us because we know it's already there.
My advice to you would be to sit down and have an open and honest conversation with him regarding your concerns. If he truly loves you, he will listen and take your concerns to heart. Come up with a compromise where he can be with his friends, you can be with your friends, and then still have time together. I think you'll figure out very quickly where his heart lies. If he sincerely apologizes and/or allows you the time to see your friends while he watches the kids, there's definitely a chance to have things smoothed over. But if you feel you have no friends to go out with, or if he won't budge and continues to walk all over your feelings, I would consider leaving before your heart gets broken any more.
2007-03-25 04:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is possible to have friends of the opposite sex. But what is a friend? That is someone with whom it is easy to talk to, easy to be around, and that wants the best for you and your family, as you do to that person, too. In an open, friendly atmosphere. But when your husband spends a whole day with a female friend, it better be a good explanation for it. Was she ill and needed someone to shop for her? Did he promise to repair her car? Did she recently become a widow, and needed some understandable friendly comfort? Have you asked what they did that whole day, by the way? What was the answer? It seems to me that you need some solid answers before you decide what to do. And you need to do something,for yourself and the state of mind you are in, because of this jerk. I would not stand for it, without an explanation that I could be comfortable with. And how long has this been going on? Often, seldom, rarely? Openly, secretly and so on. Do not axcept to be treated like a fool. Because you are not worth it! Greetings from Norway
2007-03-25 05:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by unanski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men should have female friends, women should male friends. I regularly spend time in a Yoga ashram community setting, and everyone's friends with everyone else - young, old, male, female - and no S-E-X involved, except, of course, for people already in realtionships. You seem very insecure in general (his friends hate you?), and THAT is what's going to drive a wedge between you.
2007-03-26 16:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by Curry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't trust a guy who didn't have a least a few female friends. We do make up half the poulation after all. If he had no female"friends," I would feel all females must be sex objects to him. Still,depending on the length of time of your relationship with him you may have reason to be concerned.Was she a friend before you met? How does she behave in your company? If I had a partner who met female friends after we had met and excluded me I'd be angry but if she was a friend prior to the relationship and behaved in a respectable fashion I could accept that. I have had friendships with males that have been platonic so can see both sides of this.
2007-03-25 22:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes we all need friends. i have more male friends than female. most of them are married now but we all still go out without driving a wedge between partners.
dont give up on him. tell him your worries and ask to meet her on neutral ground. you might find that you all can be friends. friends are like gold dust dont make him choose between you that would be totally unfair.
good luck and i hope you work things out
2007-03-25 22:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak for myself when I say "Yes, Guys should have female friends". Especially if you knew about these friends prior to going into your relationship. Don't get me wrong though, His family should be priority. Only you know what you are going through, And only you can say what you will tolerate. But if your just insecure, Then the issue is with yourself...
2007-03-25 05:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by egreen3rd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm always suspicious when any boyfriend of mine talks about his "female friends" - i'd be very wary if i was you. Even if they are just friends, who knows what can happen if they're all at a party or something and drink is consumed. A guy with lots of female friends is known as a "lady's man" I'm afraid. I'd avoid like the plague.
2007-03-25 14:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should sit down and QUIETLY explain 2 him how unloved u feel & in a way that makes him feal loved& needed MISSED. That u r fealing unloved& alitle insicure that
your not jelious but abit envious that he seems 2 prefer her company 2 yours.ASK why & is there something u can do 2
improve your time 2getherer.Is he under alot of pressure workwise ect.That u would like 2 feal closer&he can tell u anything.GOOD LUCK X
2007-03-25 15:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by INGER S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋