We broke up today (my decision) and he says I can't have my things until my attitude changes? All I said was that I didn't want to be with him because I wasn't happy. I have always treated him like a king and he has been verbally and emotionally abusive- check my past posts. Do I need to get the cops to go with me to get it?
2007-03-24 21:00:32 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am afraid to make him mad if I do that though. He would be so pissed and he is fighting a custody battle and would be mad that the cops had that on his record now.
2007-03-24 21:05:24 · update #1
It's not a lot of stuff... he was only my bf for a year and a half. I wouldn't care about it except some of it is personal and has personal value.... I don't care about the clothes or books.
2007-03-24 21:09:05 · update #2
it would be good for you to get the police involve
2007-03-24 21:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How bad do you want it? If he's not being cooperative then yes you need to call the police to help you. you'll have to weigh for yourself if it would be best to tell him you were going to call them and hope he cooperates with you without involving anyone else. Or maybe that would stir the pot a little more?
He's probably hoping you're not serious, he wants your attitude to change most likely to see that you love him and don't need your things out of his house because you're not moving out.
I left my stuff at my ex's house, it's been there over a year now and I finally realized it was nothing to me. It's only stuff and I'm free of him which was all I ever wanted.
You could always play him. Say you need some things and you're going to stay at wherever you've been staying but you want to get together and talk about what could make things better. Grab the things you desperately want and can justify taking at the moment. You can sue him if he destroys your stuff. So take what you need right now, talk to him later and tell him you need to get the rest of your stuff. Without threatening let him know that he has no use for it so he might as well cooperate with you.
2007-03-25 04:09:21 · answer #2 · answered by jaime 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do. The police will be more than happy to escort you into the house to collect your things. Do not count on an all day moving fest, however, just what you can carry without boxes etc. They can't spend all day there, but if you pre-arrange it with the PD they would rather do that than respond to a domestic.
For the remainder of the items, you will most likely need to have a time arranged for you to be there to pack and move etc through a lawyer. An order of protection would be a good idea since he is abusive.
Are your material good really worth all the drama and physical danger? Seems to me it would be easier to just start over. Let him have your undies, that would be fun to watch him try to explain to the next one LOL
Good luck, HTH
************After your update**************
He will only have a record if he is arrested. Why would he be arrested for you to get your things? The only way he would be arrested is if he got physical with you or the police while you were getting your things and that would be 100% under his control and his fault.
2007-03-25 04:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a control freak and yes, you need to have the police go with you to get the essentials.
The courts will divide the rest of your material things but the best thing to do is to let him have whatever he wants just to make him go away.
2007-03-25 04:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by therazorsx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-03-25 04:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by ambernpeach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Princess the only thing to do is see the police,make sure you get an order out on him too,your better off without him,don't look back or feel sorry.do what you have to do.
2007-03-25 04:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by TOM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. show him whos boss and you have the right to have your stuff or just threaten him with police lol he'll freak out. If hes violent then go with a guy friend and knock on the door until he gives up and opens the door
2007-03-25 04:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by fayS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel that it is necessary to bring somebody with you, like the cops, I would suggest doing it. I wouldn't suggest going alone, especially from how he sounds to me.
2007-03-25 04:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by lunesca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a court order or better yet take the cops with u
2007-03-25 04:06:47 · answer #9 · answered by drdevangishah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and get your belongings. It will not affect his custody issue unless you press charges.
2007-03-25 09:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lmao.
I read the question, and my first thought was, "Just get the cops to help you out," and then I read the rest.
I think you should use the police.
*nods*
2007-03-25 04:06:13 · answer #11 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋