He is always there for me. I know he loves me but as we grow older the sex gets less and less and I seem to want it more and more. Wondering if maybe I am loosing my looks or is it something else. Don't think he is cheating. I usually know where he is and I really can't picture a man like him cheating. Please no mean comments. I am ready to cry already.
2007-03-24 20:56:22 · 19 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doesn't a woman's sex drive increase with age, while a man's drive decreases? This could just be a normal tendency.
You say you know he loves you--it could just be a communication issue. Ask him what new things he wants to try in order to "spice it up." Maybe make it explicit to him that your drive is still very high. If you initiate, maybe he'll react favourably?
Good luck to you and I hope things improve soon.
2007-03-24 21:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How is his health? Really, I'll bet it would help for your hubby to start learning about what health related things would help him have more virility. Trans fats and partially hydrogenated oils have a devastating effect on the body's blood vessels and, of course, a man's virility, over years. Avoid them completely. I just read on CNN today that unsweetened dark chocolate helps improve the function of blood vessels. So does ginko biloba, and a good calcium/magnesium supplement. (no calcium carbonate) and ginseng. Then little things like mold, fungus, and yeast found in food can lower drive. Even common cold viruses can lower virility and drive. Being careful about what you eat and carefully selecting your spices can have a huge effect on this. Peppermint, cinnamon, star anise, frankenscence, myrh, oregano extract and chese made from raw milk can all help.
Go through everything that goes into and on his body and make sure he's not using anything with tea tree or lavender in it. These have high levels of natural plant estrogen and will lower the effect of his body's testosterone and lower his drive, virility, and make him put on more body fat.
And you need to have the talk. tell him that you want more physical affection and sex and that it's really affecting you emotionally. Timing and your patience and understanding are critical here. Don't have the talk when you are about to ask for sex. Have the talk out of the bed room when you're not looking to have sex. Expect that he might get mad or defensive and wait for him to calm down and reassure him. The first thing he will worry about is that you are thinking about leaving or are already cheating. Good luck.
2007-03-25 04:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I have the same problem. I'm 23, hes 30. My grandma told me once that men will "DO IT" til they die, but I find myself almost begging for sex. I feel like I'm the man in the relationship and he's the woman. You usually never hear of a man not wanting it;it's usually the other way around. And I know my man isn't cheating either, so I'm not really sure what to tell ya hun, maybe try sexy lingerie or something. That usually works. I hate it though, cuz its on for like a couple seconds and then it comes off. Maybe he just wants you to be spontaneous and more adventurous.
2007-03-25 04:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by fallenangelhunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't look like your that old so maybe there's something his not sure how to talk to you about. Nothing like I cheated or nothing but maybe he just needs to get a physical, men can have crazy stuff happen to them to keep them from wanting sex just like women. And he might know he has a problem but his afraid to tell you since your more active now then he is. I suggest that you tell him your concerns for him and that you want him to consider seeing a doctor to have some labs done and just get a good physical. If his willing then maybe you can get to the bottom of whats going on. He may be afraid that he won't be able to satisfy you anymore and perfers to just avoid it all together.
2007-03-25 04:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When men are under preasure with work and family issues they loose interest on sex, since there are too many things that they worry about. The other reason might be that sex has become a routine thing, doing the same thing over and over again.
The answer is dont make him know whats in line when its come to sex. Suprise him as much as possible in bed, and he might wanted to know whats next every time you;ll engaged in the act. keep him on pins ecah time. This might work ;-)
2007-03-25 04:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by Ethen Perera 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is older? I'm nearly 58, and certainly don't do as much of numerous things as I did at 28, and sadly, sex is one of those things. But, if you folks are just thirties, then neither of you should settle for a life without good sex, and a good dose of cuddling. As for your looks, don't worry. You say you know he loves you, so I'll guarantee you look good to him. Talk to the bum. With all the things you guys have gotten through, this'll be a snap. And, heck- it'll be a fun project to work on. Of course, as a woman, you'll be diplomatic. He's just so good, you can't help but want more. He'll happily buy it, and work harder. We men are stupid that way. We can believe things we want to believe. My wife even gets me to believe I still look 40, but I gotta admit, it's getting hard for her to keep a straight face.
2007-03-25 04:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I presume he is still working 8 hours/day and probably not in as good shape as when younger. His mind may want sex, but his body never gets around to it. It may help to start a fitness program. After dinner, take a walk together. Talk to each other. Let him know your feelings about your sexual desire.
Do everything you can to make yourself look attractive to him. And when you go to bed together, try sleeping naked. He might wake up in the middle of the night and give you a surprise.
2007-03-25 04:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by arizona wolfman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As weird as it may seem, a porn movie might do the trick. Older lady friends that I have associated with state that the the closer the got to menopause, the more they want the sex (it was unanimous). Furthermore, they also did indicate that the men in their lives showed a decrease in sexual activity (I guess thats why they invented Viagra). Good luck to you.
2007-03-25 04:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by Fermin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know as I grow older I go through moods with work somedays I am hornier than others... My X didn't understand like you. know she's gone I know what it is... I hate to say it too... It was my career I was working myself to death.
I was to exahsted to spend time with the family let alone the one I commited myself to...
We now spend more time together now than we ever did... Odd? Not really I do something alot less stressfull for a living and I got more free time to think about sex...
Gluck
2007-03-25 04:03:54 · answer #9 · answered by Shackled Spirit 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how about you make something special, like dinner on a saturday night, light some candles and play nice music, or go to a fancy restaurant.. just try to rekindle that... and maybe after some wine ask him what he thinks about this issue you are going thru. He may not notice that anything goes wrong unless you tell him
2007-03-25 04:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by Gabriel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋