What are they keys to get 2 women that despise each other to not, for family harmony
2007-03-24 20:50:07 · 9 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the fact is your mother does not have to like or accept your ex wife....it would be nice for you if she did.... I am not saying this to be mean..but it is the truth... my suggestion would be to bring them both together and set down for a nice long discussion..explain to both of them how this situation is upsetting you ..ask them what can be done to make this situation better for everyone involved....if they start arguing...put a stop to it..than start again and explain that this not being healthy for anyone involved ....and don't take sides....just tell them both you don't know what life has in store for tomorrow but you would rather not have what maybe your last day with this strife going on between them......that you love them both and it is important to you that they try and get along.....don't tell them they have to do anything...just give them food for thought.......make them see there is more involved in this than just the two of them and how it is effecting you..........
another truth..they may never like each other..but they might be able to learn how to tolerate each others company for your sake if they thought it was causing you harm.......
best of luck to you..I hope you can get this worked out.....
2007-03-24 21:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called respect. Your mother needs to respect your choices. If you can handle the fact that your wife cheated, then it really has nothing more to do with your mother. Sure, she has her opinions, but her opinions should come secondary to your feelings. If there are children involved then your mother needs to bite her tongue and think more about the feelings of her grandchildren as well as yours. Your children are your main concern....and if your mother cant come to grips with the fact that her grandchilren love their mother, then she will cause a lot of problems. You need to sit your mother down and tell her your children's welfare comes first and her opinions she will kindly keep to herself. If your mother has any kind of intelligence at all, she will know when to judge and when to take a back seat. If you still love your ex and are thinking about getting back with her, then your mother needs to respect your feelings. You are not a baby, you are allowed to make choices which include bad ones. You are an adult, and an adult will learn how to make choices and be responsible for these choices. Your mother has done her job in raising you. While she will always love you like you were 12.....you are allowed to make a choice and fail if necessary...her role now is to support you, not tell you what to do. It is also not your role to be peacemaker. The three of you are adults and you all should have the capabilities to act like adults. Maybe the only thing you can do is let the pieces fall where they may. You just do what you think is best....let the other adults deal with your choices.
2007-03-24 21:05:27 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger problem. Either get sick and damn near die, or win the lottery. There is no formula to get women who don't despise each other to get along. Tell mom she's either the solution or she's out the door. Tell ex, that if she values the dog, she'll be a peace with the MIL, regardless of how stupid, ugly, bitter, the mother-in -law is. The dog is a sacrifice dog on the altar of domestic tranquility. Have the ex get a job on the swing shift( no pun intended) She'll get home too late to strap on some lungs to battle it out with MAMA. The matron of the house will not give orders. Run from everything, run from rain, run from wind. Run to clear your head. Run away from the ptb, and concentrate on not getting dragged back to the big one.
2007-03-24 21:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't have to like each other. They can even despise one another (though it does seem that your mother is more justified in her anger) as long as they observe the pleasantries. IE, not spitting on one another, no slashing of tires, no public cat fights. Other than that, you may be asking for too much. If they are at the spitting-hatred stage, approach both of them seperately and calmy tell them of your concerns. Hopefully, they will honor your wishes out of respect for you, but don't have high hopes for that if your wife couldn't even keep her vows.
2007-03-24 21:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Old Civil war saying---> We can forgive,But we will never forget! Good luck!
2007-03-27 11:49:16 · answer #5 · answered by Oh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oil and water dude.... just remember that your mother is forever.... a lot of wives aren't!
2007-03-24 20:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not have to accept her...
Perhaps you should take mothers lead...
2007-03-24 20:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She won't. Your ex F'ed that up. Now you all have to deal with that...
2007-03-24 20:52:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
family counselling
2007-03-24 20:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by fayS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋