We were married for 5 years at the time he was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.It wasn't terminal but we were told the journey to get him better was going to be a very lond one.When I found out I totally lost it and I know it was extremely wrong of me but I left him because I didn't think I could deal with the disease and how it'd affect my life.He didn't have any other family so I did feel very guilty but I didn't feel like I had a choice but to leave him.It's been 2 years and he's in remission.I want a second chance so badly.He treated me like a queen throughout the whole time we've been together and I still love him as much as ever.He won't even look me in the eye let alone consider getting back together.What do I do?
2007-03-24 20:30:35 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
let himbe you are a horrible person do you even have a soul?
2007-03-24 20:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you made that mistake, not nearly as sorry as you or your ex husband I'm sure.
If you love him, tell him you are sorry for the additional pain you caused him. But don't push him, you shouldn't expect him to want you back. All you can do is hope that someday he will.
Remember you hurt him and now you want things to go back to the way they were before. Things can never be that way again. He will always remember you weren't there for him when he needed you the most and he treated you like a queen.
You have to think about what he's going to think: You left him all alone-no wife, no family, and he needed you, plus where have you been for the last two years? Did you go out on dates with other men? Did you sleep with other men? Were you trying to move on? Why come back now that he's on the road to recovery? Would you have came back at the same time had he still been really sick? Why didn't being on your own work out? He's going to ask questions and you should be prepared to answer him truthfully.
You may need to tell him you still love him, and you just want him to know that you understand if he never wants to be with you again because what you did was terrible, but you've learned, and all you want in the world in a second chance. Whatever you don't guilt trip him. Give him your number after you pour your heart out and leave. Really leave him alone too, he needs time to think about you wanting to be back in his life and maybe he has no interest and never will. He did llove you but you hurt him, you might do it again.
If you respect him you should probably tell him something like you love him but don't want to upset him that's why you are going to do your best not to bother him.
If you love someone (let them know and then) set them free.
2007-03-24 20:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by jaime 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he deserves better, you were very immature to do something like that how can you think he'll even take you back? He needed you the most at an unbearable time and you just packed and left because of a disease, you not ready for marriage let alone a serious relationship you still have some growing up to do. I suggest do your growing up by yourself so you won't hurt anyone else.
2007-04-01 15:33:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having had cancer myself, I wonder why I would want someone like you back after you left when I would have needed my wife the most. My wife was the one thing I had in my life that made me get through the 6 months of weekly chemotherapy sessions.
It's been almost 7 years, and I treasure her more than I can say. I've found out since that the anguish she was under and successfully hid from me, was what caused her breakdown. And I was there to get her through her ordeal.
Marriage is a commitment to put the other person's needs and wishes ahead of your own.
Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer, in sickness and in health, Until Death do you part.
2007-03-31 11:23:50 · answer #4 · answered by philcya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HE NEEDED YOU. and u left him. u should get smacked. GOD. hmmm wat was that marraige vow... i will be with u till death due us part.... hmmmmmm. u just dont get it do u. wi did u even marry him??if he treated u like a queen why didnt u treat him with that same kindness. imagine u were the one with CANCER would u leave. My mother has Multiple Sclarosis and cancer. My step- dad didnt leave her. he worked with her until she was cured of cancer and is still helping her every day uuntil she dies, or until the doctors find a cure. HOW COULD U DO THAT TO UR HUSBAND?? i wolud never even do that to my girlfriend. u r a cold person and should serioulsly consider if u even deserve that man back after what u did. I guess that u broke his heart so bad that he wont even listen to anything u have to say. so u'd better forget it because not only did u cause him pain, and ditch him WITH NO FAMILY LEFT to support him, but u also caused him an extreme amount of stress, and that is a major cause of cancer! SO U COULD'VE KILLED HIM, not just his heart and soul. Get A councelor for urself and a marriage councelor if ur husband goes crazy and decides to maybee forgive your selfish self.
2007-04-01 11:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Spikes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know what you've got until it's gone. When he needed you the most you ran out on him, what the hell did you expect? Treated you "like a queen" had no other family to help him? I'm glad he won't give you the time of the day!! No choice but to leave him, another choice would have been to stay and be supportive of him.
2007-03-31 07:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to put yourself in his shoes. You come down with cancer, you are sick all the time, you lose your hair, and you go through chemo. And to top it all off your spouse walks out on you because they just couldn't deal. What do you think you would feel like?
I hope he stays away from you. I am sure you are a nice person you just aren't reliable and he needs someone to be reliable. What if in a year or two his cancer comes back even worse than before, are you going to bail again??????
If you love him you will leave him alone. And spend this time on yourself and develop the person you want to be. Because right now you aren't a person anyone would want to be around. Imagine if you get sick sometime in the future, will there be anyone there for you or have you surrounded yourself with shallow selfish people like yourself? Right now you are the one who is damaged goods.
2007-03-24 20:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
From your posts, it sounds like you are a very immature and self-centered person. How you could walk away from someone in crisis, when they needed you most, is beyond me. While I certainly believe in second chances, this may be a situation where the lack of loyalty and reliability can not be regained. I'd suggest that you have to show how sincerely you have changed, if you have, and see if he can regain trust. Still, I'd recommend you be prepared to move on as he may never trust or rely on you again.
2007-03-26 08:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by TechNeo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
get over it. you left him sick and with out any family. he needed you and you left . you should feel terrible, when you married him you knew it was in sickness and in health, and you broke those vows. i understand where you said you were scared and you didn't think you could handle it. but what if it was the other way around! i am sorry you made your selfish choice and i think he would be a fool to take you back. i am sure there is another women out there that can love him the way he deserves and he shouldn't waste anymore time on you!
2007-03-24 21:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by brittany d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I was him I would never talk to you again. I think that was cruel what you did, I don't think you loved him as well as you say you do other wise you would have helped him threw it. I could never do that to my husband. My husband is in the military I would be happy just to have him alive and with me even if a part of him is missing. I realize that something can happen to him, but as long as I get him back I'll always love him no matter what happens.
2007-03-24 20:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by TLC4theworld 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the last 7 hours, you have asked this question in 6 different categories, and a question on physical child abuse in 4 different categories. I don't know whether you are asking these serious questions as they apply to your own life, or whether you are doing research, or just bored or looking for attention. If indeed these are issues relating to your own life, I suggest that you seek advice from a professional.
2007-03-24 21:50:49 · answer #11 · answered by Maeve N 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋