We were married for 5 years at the time he was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.It wasn't terminal but we were told the journey to get him better was going to be a very lond one.When I found out I totally lost it and I know it was extremely wrong of me but I left him because I didn't think I could deal with the disease and how it'd affect my life.He didn't have any other family so I did feel very guilty but I didn't feel like I had a choice but to leave him.It's been 2 years and he's in remission.I want a second chance so badly.He treated me like a queen throughout the whole time we've been together and I still love him as much as ever.He won't even look me in the eye let alone consider getting back together.What do I do?
2007-03-24 20:27:24 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You left him because you couldn't deal with the disease and how IT WOULD AFFECT YOUR LIFE. ??!!
Are you really that clueless! -
To be honest with you - Your husband deserves someone Better Than you!!! At least do One UNselfish Act - LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND ALONE SO HE CAN FIND A BETTER RELATIONSHIP !!
2007-04-01 13:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by computer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, the only think you can do is tell him that you know that what you did was horrible and selfish. You know that you betrayed him just when he needed you most. You know that he has every right to spit on you and never speak to you again but that you would like a second chance to prove to him that you've changed and that if he were to get sick again you would stand by his side to the end.
But first of all, make sure that all of this is actually true. What would you do if he took you back and then the cancer comes back? If you think that there is any chance at all that you'll run out on him again - leave the poor man alone. Let him find a partner that will love him enough to see him thru the bad times as well as the good times.
2007-03-24 20:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some folks live by the line, "In sickness and in health." You were there as a fair weather friend, collecting on the cream. When the going got tough... you got gone. Forcing him to face his illness alone at the same time he was being forced to deal with the rejection you heaped upon him had to do more than hurt. It would either kill him or make him stronger. From what you've said, he found a way to become stronger. That doesn't mean that he's strong enough to open himself up to your fare-weather crap.
Consider this an opportunity for you to grow and become stronger as an individual. Its a growth thing and growth usually hurts. That's just the way it is.
2007-03-24 21:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Olde Spy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having had cancer myself, I wonder why I would want someone like you back after you left when I would have needed my wife the most. My wife was the one thing I had in my life that made me get through the 6 months of weekly chemotherapy sessions.
It's been almost 7 years, and I treasure her more than I can say. I've found out since that the anguish she was under and successfully hid from me, was what caused her breakdown. And I was there to get her through her ordeal.
Marriage is a commitment to put the other person's needs and wishes ahead of your own.
Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer, in sickness and in health, Until Death do you part.
2007-03-31 10:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by philcya 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real or is this some kind of experiment or stupid joke? If you're for real, you are disgusting AND stupid. You certainly have a high opinion of yourself to think that he would ever take you back.
Leave the man alone to find someone who will treasure him for better or for worse in sickness and in health. He deserves it.
You on the other hand deserve the biggest jerk there ever was, one who will cheat on you or put you down every chance he gets--one of those totally chauvinistic guys who will treat you like you deserve to be treated and then leave you for a younger woman. Mm, I'm thinking someone like Donald Trump without the millions.
There really is something that most of us call karma. You've made some very bad karma. Now partially redeem yourself by leaving your poor ex-husband alone.
2007-03-24 21:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How horrible of you to do such a thing.....Sickness and health?? Obviously you didn't care enough about your vows or your beloved husband...Now that he is well, I hope he finds a love who deserves to be treated like a queen. Too bad for you.....Don't think he'll take you back after that mistake....and your on your own here. What you did was the worst thing one can do to another...leave him especially in his time of need. What would you do if he did take you back? Leave him again at the chance of something else re-occurring? He is better off. You did worse than cheat on him.....Shame on you poor lady.
2007-03-31 03:55:27 · answer #6 · answered by Your Asking Me? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forgive yourself and learn to live with your decision. He had to learn to not want or need you when you left him and you need to do the same if he does not want a relationship with you. Try sending flowers (men do like that kind of stuff!) and not pressuring the get back together stuff- ask for forgiveness and try to stay friends if a reunion is not possible. If you are still married, perhaps counseling may be a good option. It has been two years though and maybe some counseling for yourself may help too.
2007-03-24 20:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mamma Mia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion obviously you lefted for a reason and so you say it is because you couldn't handle going through the cancer with hI'm. how do you think he felt when you lefted him? would you take him back if you were in his place? if he lefted you i know it would be hard for you to want him back. you did make a mistake and just because someone is ill or sick does not give you any reason to run. marriage is for "better or for worst" he saw (in his eyes) you just didn't care enough to stick with him through his worst. so why should he take you back, he will only wonder and have doubt about you. im sorry but i don't think there is anything you can do but tell him your sorry and let him go. would you'd of still came back and wanted him back if he was still sick? i doubt it. you just found out he's recovering and this is the last thing he needs right now.
2007-03-24 20:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by ♥!BabyDoLL!♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
imagine being so ill that you expect to die, you have no hope and the disease is ravaging your body, making your life hell and you are so ill you almost wish you could die. but you know you have something to live for, your beloved is there with you and all of a sudden that one person that stood beside you and vowed til death do you part, that one peson you thought you could count on for anything, walks out the door and leaves you alone - no other family - and you are alone on your death bed wondering why your spouse didn't love you enough to hold you and whisper words of encouragement and love. pushing you to survive, to fight this horrible disease. imagine knowing that the one person you thought of as your rock, your soulmate, leaves you flat on your back suffering.
imagine how that must feel, how lost and alone you would feel.
now think about this, karma my friend, will always even things out and one day it will be your turn. you want to hope whoever your rock is at that time doesn't treat you as badly and shabbily as you deserve to be treated.
"what do you do?" even now your concern is about you, not him, 'he treated me like a queen'. well sugar pie, honey bun, lets hope the man leaves you standing in the gutter like the nasty little wench you are.
if you are looking for sympathy girl, you're looking in the wrong place.
just reading answers after mine.....so is this query true?
IF NOT - i wish you exactly what you have described here, except longer, slower, more painful and deadly.
you are one sick mother.........
2007-03-24 20:43:37 · answer #9 · answered by the quiet one 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Forget it "chick"!!!!!!!! You don't deserve him! You screwed up beyond forgiveness! You are too selfish.
I had an ex-husband do the same thing to me!
You do not even WANT to know what I think of him!!!!!!!!
You discust me.
Can't wait for you to get sick! - That may be an evil thought but
the day WILL come! And I hope you are all alone when it does!!!!!!!!
You are the one that will have to live with this all your life.
I wish nothing but happiness for your husband. There are lots of women out their that would love to be treated like a queen!
Send me his number!!!
2007-03-24 20:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by susie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he takes you back that would be surprising. what you had before is gone guys dont forget, especially when they need theyre wife the most. iv been there she did the same thing now shes gone on because the question was, will she split if it comes back? who wants to be left twice? if you and him can work that out you have a chance. cancer is unpredictable it might come back then what? good luck dont leave a second time
2007-03-24 20:42:56 · answer #11 · answered by dan221racing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋