My parents just seperated...How do I deal with it?

Answer 1

You deal with this with maturity. You see your parents as not just your mother and your father, but people who have drifted apart. Make no mistake, the marriage split up becuase of their problems and has nothing to do with you. They are leaving each other, they are not leaving you....You are not the reason they have separated. I know its hard to disassociate yourself from the separation, but really, you have nothing to do with it. Whatever has happened between the two of them is totally personal.

If you love your parents, love them enough to want them to be happy. Do not take sides, just love them as you did previously. We have one shot at this life, and it doesnt matter why people stay married, if they are not happy, then it will always end in misery. Just be happy your parents realised there are problems before they got too old.

It will take time for you to adjust and as hard as it will be for you, you cannot take sides no matter what. You love both your mother and your father and if either one of them wants you to take sides with them, then you have to be strong and just tell them that you love them both and the problems they are experincing are between them and not you and you would prefer to stay out of it.

Time is the only thing that will make it better for you. Time is the only healer. Parents who stay together for the sole purpose of the kids end up hurting their kids. Would you like to see your parents stay together because they think its better for you? Would you prefer to be around parents who dont love each other? Do you love your parents enough to want to see them happy? Think outside the square you are living in. This is not about you....this is about them falling out of love with each other for whatever reason. Try to rise above your own personal hurt and realise that having children doesnt automatically mean a relationship will last forever.....the love your parents have for you though WILL last forever and that is what you need to hang onto right now.

Answer 2

lot's n lot's of ice cream. My parents separated when I was six. I was devastated. Later on I moved into my dad's house perminantly because it turned out my mother was a loon.

Tell them to be very open about the divorce.

Also tell them that you would like it very much if they could be civil with eachother even though they won't be husband and wife anymore.

Do NOT get put in the middle.

Ask questions. Ask WHY they're getting a divorce. Ask WHEN the paperwork will be done, and WHERE you're custody will land you.

Have a friend that will listen to you on speed dial(That's something I wish I had when I was younger. Since I was just six, not many kids on the playground knew what 'divorce' meant. :)

I'm really sorry your parents are splitting. It's a really tough situation for everyone because it affects EVERYONE. I mean, your grandparents and Aunts and Uncles and EVERYONE will have an opinion about the situation. But please just remember that it wasn't your fault and that they're still your parents and they still love you and want the best for you. Right now, I guess they think that THIS is the best for you.

Good things do come out of divorce. Just give it time. If my dad was still married to my mum, we'd probably be going absolutely insane right now.

Answer 3

It isn't your fault, it is never a childs fault. Also it isn't your responsibility to keep them happy, it is visa versa. Keep being yourself and maybe find a support group, friends or counselors or a club.

I have seperated parents, a step-mom, and an ex-step-dad. Hopefully you aren't being put in the middle, that was hard on me. You should find someone to talk to if you can. It helps anybody sort out there feelings if they have an ear. I did talk to the counselor, and that helped. I also became a very into my grades. Good grades always got good attention I guess. In the long run the good grades really helped out. I also did school activities, what are you interested in? Find a club or hobby or something you like and get really good at it, like a sport or a subject. Depending on your area and age look for volunteer oportunities where you can help others. I volunteered too, and got lots of free stuff and met lots of friends who volunteered.

All these things helped me out later in life.

Answer 4

i feel sorry for u dear friend and usually the kids suffer the most when parents separate however its a gr8 idea to get mom and dad together one day as soon as possible and to sit them down and tell them exactly how u feel...that will definately take the load off ur back and u will feel better...other than that just focus on ur school ...studies and create a goal to do something great with ur life...for urself ...work towards an extra ordinary career like being a doc/lawyer etc.

Answer 5

I know it sucks big time. My parents are seperated too, but you're going to have to acussed it that not all couples are going to stay together. I know you want them to be back together, but maybe it was for the best. You should set your parents down one at a time and talk about it and tell them how you feel about it. I wish you good luck. :'

Answer 6

Well...just don't let their separation get to you or affect you in any bad way...You are a separate individual and you have your separate life, so even if you feel bad about it, don't make their separation a cause to make you feel down or depressed...and always remember that even though your parents are already separated, you're still one family, so don't have a grudge on any of your parents...because some people do... good luck!

Answer 7

I would like to know how old you are? When I was 26 my parents got a divorce, it was hard but I looked at it this way "if their not happy and are just together for the sake of the kids, it is not healthy". My younger sister was stressed out but because their is seven of us we helped her get through it because she is the youngest. We are okay about it, I guess the hardest part is seeing them with other people.

YOU WILL BE FINE!!! Just be happy and take care of yourself. =) Everything will work out, just be patient and take it one day at a time.

Answer 8

I hope you re doing okay, this is a difficult thing to go through....First of all, DO'NT take sides, and try to maintain contact with both of them, if they had reasons to separate, you should respect their decisions, also it depends on who you re staying with, just make sure they seperated for the right reasons (abusive relationship..so on..), if not you can try to put them back together...and don't give up!

Answer 9

Ok, these r the two most common options
-You can blame them, and hate them both in secret becuz they did not consider you in the consequences that could happen to u, emotionally, socially or metally.
-You can blame urself and seclude urself from society that will probably end up with ends resluts of depression and unhappiness
--The top 2 options can lead to u having this kind of life as well eith you n ur spouse, this is called a vicious cycle.
-Or do what u have to do(like me), comprhend that thses kind of things happen and tough it out, and make sure it doesnt happen to ur could(promise urself i guess)......this kinda of $h!t happens, sparks end, there is no love...whatever the reason....it just happens.....so comprehension is ur best option.

Answer 10

You just have to realize that your life is going to change. It well be different but you are still loved by both your parents. Good luck.