Do you think something would hurt more if you expected it or if you didn't expect it?

Question

Let's say if you didn't expect to fall or get hit for example. Would it hurt more if you were to expect it or if you didn't expect it?

How about for relationships? Would it hurt more if you knew they were going to leave or if you continued to be with them and they will eventually leave?

So do you think it would hurt more if anything was expected, or not expected?

Examples and serious answers please

Answer 1

expectation always makes things worse in the end, because you build up feelings and expectations about the pain that are almost worse than the actual event. A good example of this is very simple...tell a small child you are going to give them a shot..and they start to cry. they know what a shot is and that it hurts. they build it up as a horrible painful think in their mind. However...distract the child..don't warn them..and they are less likely to pitch a fit because the event is over so quickly they barely have time to register the pain. Pain hurts..its unavoidable..but to expect it..brings worse..fear and worry. Why suffer nedlessly?

Answer 2

That's why you're not supposed to have high expectations. Better yet, don't have any. Why try to predict what will happen, what people will do, how things will end up in life? I try to live one day at a time. Life's more fun when you don't know what to expect anyway. Seriously, I think it is very stupid to expect anything. I make plans, but don't plan the outcome. The only thing I truly expect in life is for my god to take care of me. Any other expectations have always let me down. So, it is better to have none. Then you don't get hurt, because there is no reason for you to get hurt. Why have expectations???? Makes no sense. I have hopes, but try not to have expectations. I am not god, I do not know what will happen, and I can't make things happen the way I want them to. Life does not work that way. Some people think it does, but it really doesn't. And that is why we get "hurt" when things don't go "the way they should." I believe everything happens for a reason. So, if something doesn't meet my expectations, I believe there is a reason. it is supposed to go a different way than what I thought. And that is interesting to me. If everything met your expectations, wouldn't you get quite bored?? I try not to have expectations of people. They are human, like me, and will always fail me. Likewise, I am sure I fail other's expectations also. With people, I just try to understand rather than be understood, and if I can't understand, I do my best to let it go, keeping in mind it's for a reason, even if I don't know what that reason is. Change is inevitable. Things will always change. Change is inevitable, the hurt is sometimes inevitable. I will tell you one thing I do expect, honestly. Whenever I feel something I didn't "expect" has happened, and it is hard, I honestly do expect something wonderful to be on the other side of that painful experience, whatever it may be. Because there always is. Life is awesome.
Relationships. I have one where they left and I didn't expect it, and one where I knew they would eventually leave and it seemed to not "hurt" as much. But the reason it seemed that way was because I had made myself not care. I will never do that again. It does hurt, both ways. There is no easy way out. It's just life. Enjoy it while you can. I am rambling now, so I will go. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 3

Well, in the physical sense it always hurts more if you're expecting it. Get ready to shoot a rubber band at someone. If they're looking at you they try to to do everything possible to avoid getting hit. When they do get hit, it hurts! Not so if they're looking the other way. On the other hand, in relationships, it hurts more, I think, if you don't see it coming. My brother's wife up and left him out of the blue, he didn't know they even had a problem. He didn't eat for a week, and though it's been about a year, he's still not over it.

Answer 4

It hurts more when you don't expect it. Sure pain isn't a picnic either way, but if you at least expect it then you're prepared. Here's a real-life example:

I dated a goof (ok it's something I did in my 20's, don't worry I outgrew the habit) who had done something unpleasant to hurt me. He suggested that I punch him in the stomach if it would make me feel better. I politely declined. I figured he was just trying to show how macho he was anyway & hitting him really wouldn't help. Plus I knew that when he was expecting the punch that he'd have his muscles clenched & it wouldn't hurt anyway. So I hugged him & said it was ok. Then when he was relaxed, I hit him in the gut, full force. Knocked the wind out of him. Suckerpunch. He didn't see it coming, so it hurt more. Then I smiled. "Ok, now we're even." I said. Because when he'd hurt me, I hadn't seen it coming either.

Ok I also outgrew the violent streak...I'm a pacifist now. Honest. Just don't get me angry. Tee hee

Being prepared is always easier. Yeah, it still sucks but it's better than the shock when life suckerpunches you from out of nowhere & you didn't see it coming. Nothing is worse than that.

Answer 5

Hi, I think it would hurt more if you did not expect it. When in a relationship you expect a person is going to leave for whatever reason, You've already lost your trust and blind faith in that person to be with you no matter what. so it would hurt less. In either case, pain will take same time to heal though.

Answer 6

that is a question of the minds will. If you will the actions to have power over you then it will hurt, depending on how much you react it may be more hurtful. If you pour salt in a wound or divorce the same person twice, then it will hurt you more and more. If your paralyzed or emotionally unresponsive, due to drugs, brain damage, etc. then you are not capable of willing that action any power over you. Are you familiar witht some of the stories about Buhddist monks. They can hold their hand in a fire and not feal pain. They may feel extreme heat but whos to say that is neccesarily painful. It's all relative.

Answer 7

If you pitch your expectations too high, your disappointment is bound to be as great. Of course, the level of expectation will be different with relationships from that with events. The thumb rule should be: Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. That is how I have conditioned my life and have generally managed to deal with disappointments.

Answer 8

Physically, yes. It has been proven that infants are usually the only survivors of plane crashes. The debate is that they don't tense up like the ones who see it coming. In a relationship, I think that if you can see it coming, you have a hurt that can be healed easier that a surprise because you have time to guard yourself. You can rationalize it with useless thoughts.

Answer 9

with relationships -if u din anticipate the break up and it happened all of a sudden--man!! thats gonna hurt--but if u expected it--the hurt will b less- same science applies to physical falls--gonna hurt if u din anticipate it--but if u did -u wud have been more guarded -so i guess if u expect it--the hurt is less- but this is my personal opinion

Answer 10

physically, it would hurt more if it was unexpected

emotionally - I would be hurt more if i did expect it only because not only would i be hurt by the expectation, the impending inevitability but also by the fact that I wasnt respected enough to hear it from my partner first