My husband doesnt pay as much attention to me as I would like but I am greatful for when he does. We have three children so I dont expect him to be with me all the time. We have been together for three years. I know relationships get old and have herd that I should spice things up but I want to know how to do that in all other areas other than our sex life. I guess what I am saying is I think we lost our connection and I want to know how to get it back. I love him so much but I feel like my heart breaks a little more each day. I crave his touch so bad not only in a sexual way. I dont understand why I feel this way. If anyone knows how I feel let me know what you do to feel better.
2007-03-24 19:32:11 · 13 answers · asked by QTforlife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well like I admitted in my question "Is my Fiancee worth keeping" My man makes me stay at my parents with our new baby, so i know how you feel! Look atleast you know the area of your problem, talk to your husband and tell him how you feel! It's only been 3 yrs so it should not be old yet! Sure you can go to sex shops and get the toys and lingerie, but that will only last so long! Be yourself, when your in bed touch him in a way that will show him what you want! When you're not in bed and in everyday activities find ways to kiss him in sensitive areas, act flirty like you we're dating again instead of married! Show him he is still and always will be the only one!
I hope this helps sweetie!
2007-03-24 19:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by julia_gayle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something for you, get a new hairdo, get a manicure, join a gym. Do something that makes you pamper you. I feel the exact same way for a year now, and I told my husband after several attempts of discussing this topic that I can now fully understand what drives people to cheat, the longing for affection(NOT SEX), feeling attractive and appreciated, and just to have a convesation with real meaning with another adult. It is an awful delimina and like you stated you are married but lonely and lonely is not good especially when you look around and there is someone within reach who could with a slight effort take that ache away. My father told me "You act like a puppy and for a little attention you do wonderful things" I did not like the comparison but I guess it made sense, I do all that I can for a hug or kiss here and there, or maybe just a few kind words and I have allowed him to think this is acceptable. Now I decided I do not need or want his attention (this way I stop dewelling on what I do not get from him) and I make myself feel good and it shows and it is now getting his attention because once again I shine with happiness and not because of him, I love me and it shows.
2007-03-25 08:28:54 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling this way because you are alone, what you decibel is the meaning of the word, being cut off from others, lack of communication.. First have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you tried to get a sitter and have alone time? I know with 3 kids it is hard ( 3 here too ).. But you do really need to figure something out before he or you drifts to far out and there is no way to make it back.. Marriage to some get old, that happens alot.. You need to try getting a together hobby.. Do you show him alot of attention? just wondered.. make the first step for it, if you want to save your marriage. We can all sit here and type all night long but in the end it is all up to you and him.. So good luck
2007-03-25 03:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a guys perspective:
it's cuz he's SOOO used to you.
Spend some time apart, get into shape, or do somethign different with your hair, get high-lights, wear somewhat revealing clothes, do something DIFFERENT.
Personal-wise: You should set time aside when you both have time and go for a walk, go to the movies, have a "date" do things u guys did when you were dating.
Wake him up with sex, pull him in the shower with you, do something he'd NEVER expect. Doesn't have to be sexual, go to a concert with him to one of his favorite bands or something.
BY the way, doing the sharing feelings thing isn't always gonna work, cuz it'll flow along the lines of "nagging" and it'll just agitate him. Unlike women, guys dont' get a lot from talking and it gets VERY boring, but we get more from actions, show him how feel, do something about it.
Try wearing some new perfume, and if your an older woman, don't go by your taste, cuz that smell doesn't attract anything other than other old women that ramble on about nonsense, ask the clerk what's popular with younger ladies or something. I'll bet you ANYTHING he'll notice it, he might not say anything, but when you walk past him watch his reaction.
2007-03-25 02:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've got lots of great, easy answers, but they only work when you are rich, and don't need to worry about bills and work. But, you've only had three years, so you have hope. TALK TO HIM. and he has to hear you. and NO, ya can't use a baseball bat. Teach him. After all, he's gonna reap the inevitable benefits of more attention, so a small amount of unpleasantness during the training period should be expected. You need to make him aware. He'll do it. Of course, he'll need reminding- 30-40 thousand times. But, you've got fifty years. Even us guys can be taught, with affection, patience, and positive reinforcement. But probably not as quickly as a decent dog. LOL
2007-03-25 03:47:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him how you feel? He may be missing you as much as you're missing him. Be completely honest, and don't be afraid to tell him everything. That way you will know you did your best to remedy the situation. He can't help you fix it if he doesn't know something's wrong. Relationships take the work of both parties, not just one.
I also recommend the book "Conscious Loving," by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks--a remarkable resource that worked wonders for my hubby and myself.
Blessings and good luck!
2007-03-25 02:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start by having family time. Play games with the kids, fix dinner together, sit and talk. all the little things mean a lot.
2007-03-25 02:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband does exactly the same i crave his touch but he comes near me only for sex..i get depress each day seeing him your best bet is tell him how you feel or cheat on a low and hope he does not find out
2007-03-25 02:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by shycat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
without spicing up your sex life????????? DAM THAT'S A HARD ONE!!! But I'm of the opinion that a great sex life cures all ills,especially the lack of attention by your mate. but if I think of anything else, I'll get back to you.
2007-03-25 12:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by wiseone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. You have to stop wait on your husband to make you feel better and start making yourself feel better. You have to get out and do things on your own and stop waiting on him. If you feel better about yourself you won't feel so bad about him and he will either take the new you are not. Good luck to you.
2007-03-25 03:34:32 · answer #10 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋