What would you type............?

Question

what would you type to get points?
~~~~funniest gets the best answer~~~~

Answer 1

Here's a joke:

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!"

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?"

The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!"

Answer 2

some jokes
Two cows in a field one turns to the other and says "moo" they other turns and says "you fcuker I was gonna say that"

two ghosts at the dinner table one asks the other"can you pass the salt please"
the other replys "who the fcuk said that"

how do you make a hormone?
Wipe yer d1ck on her curtains

what do you tell yer wife when she has two black eyes?
Nothing you've told her twice allready

George Bush throw a press conference to announce his disgust at three brazilian journalists killed in iraq he pledges Americas intent on "bloody revenge" when the conference ends his aid says to him "that was a bit strong Mr President" george bush replys "I know but excactly how many is a brazillian"

Supermarket

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere!!!

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!
The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'


A man walks in the kitchen with a chicken under his arm and his wife is standing there. So, the man says "How do you like the pig I been f**kin'?" His wife looks at him and says, "That's a chicken dumb ***!" The man says, "I was talking to the chicken!"



A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your
head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.

Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

A man takes his father to the doctor.

At the office, the doctor tells the old man, "I'm sorry, sir, but you have lung cancer. You'll be dead in a year."

On the way home, the old man turns to his grief-stricken son and says, "Quit all that cryin'! I'm not depressed. I've lived 75 great years. How 'bout you and me go to my favorite bar and have a couple beers with my friends?"

So while the guys are having their beers, the old man breaks the news to his friends. "Fellas," he says, "I'll be dead in a year 'cause I got AIDS."

On the way home, his son asks, "Dad, why did you lie to your friends?"

His dad replies, "'Cause when I die, I don't want them trying to **** your mother!"

Answer 3

While sitting at your desk, lift your r.foot and make clockwise circles with it. While doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!!! And there's nothing you can do about it. HA! Try it

Answer 4

this isnt funny.. but i just want to state that the british soldiers that the iranian army has captured will be the start of something BIG. this is not good. right now they've been captured for like 2 days now.. i think.so.. b4 it happens.. it will. when britain tries to get its soldiers back... man i dont even want to fathem the war that will persue.

Answer 5

Mangina

Answer 6

Gutted rabbit!!!!!!!