How do I know if I have lost my virginity?

Question

It was a forced insertion against resisting and it has been 5 years since the incident. I feel it was partial insertion only against my resistance. How do I know if my hymen is intact before I enter into legal marriage?

Answer 1

As others have said, the state of the hymen has nothing to do with virginity. Girls are born with hymens of varying sizes and thicknesses, and some are born with none at all. They can be broken through all sorts of ordinary activities like horseback riding, gymnastics, etc. before she even reaches puberty, or by a tampon or a gynecological exam. Some are so sturdy that vaginal intercourse doesn't break them the first time.

Regardless, you were sexually assaulted *at least* (and given your description, I would say raped), and you need to deal with that more than you need to worry about the state of your hymen (I'm hoping. If you live in a country where your virginity is actually an issue, I don't know what to tell you). You should seek counseling, and then talk to your fiancé when you feel ready. Unfortunately since it has been five years you may not be able to press charges - in some states in the US, the statute of limitations on a rape case would have already run out. I would check up on the laws that apply where you live and see if there is any legal action you can take.

Answer 2

First of all, I just want to say that I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

The hymen, however, is not neccesarily an indicator of virginity. It can be broken through activities such as gymnastics, cycling, or horseback riding, as well as masturbation. In some cases, it appears that tampon use has partially ruptured the hymen. There have even been cases in which the female was apparently not born with one.

So, the definition of virginity is not quite so simple. I think you need to take some time out to examine your own, personal perspective on this. Do you feel you are a virgin? I'm not going to tell you how you should feel on that one, as I do not know you and have never been in your position.

If you still want to go on the hymen theory, though, you could probably get a gynocologist to "check" for you. It's not particularly difficult.

Answer 3

I would say... "paulieandlupe" summed it up pretty well. No... you may not technically be 'virgin' and I know that would mean a lot to me if I lost that, and I'm sure it does to you too, but the fact that you were assaulted... hymen or not, penetration or not... it doesn't matter, that in itself won't make you "dirty" or "bad" or anything like that. I wouldn't worry about whether your hymen is intact, in fact... if I were a girl getting ready for sex, I'd probably be glad if it wasn't there, but aside... just make sure you're dealing with what happened and that your life is intact, and the rest will matter less.

Answer 4

Having an intact hymen has nothing to do with the legalities of marriage, at least not in the United States.

Women in some cultures have plastic surgery so they will have an intact hymen for their wedding night. Other women have it for a "second honeymoon".

It sounds like you have some other issues here, like talking to your fiance about having been raped.

Answer 5

I never had sex until I was nineteen. It has always been said the when you break your hymen through sexual intercourse you will bleed. I didn't bleed so can only assume it was broken before I had lost my virginity. I was brought up as a tom boy chased cows, carried bricks, rode bikes, jumped on and off trucks, tractors, bull dozers etc, rumbled and tumbled with my two brothers. So very easy to tear or rip your hymen.

If you have had sex even partial sexual intercourse then it is gone. Depending on your culture this can be a problem. If you have money you can have surgery to tighten things up but why bother as life happens.

Answer 6

Have you been to the police, this is attempted rape hon.

If you felt pain then it could be possible that your hymen did break under these horrid conditions. Whether you resisted, the action is still the same.

Virginity is defined under so many ways. If you love this man and he loves you back then try to tell him. If you are entering an arranged marriage. Best not tell him. You need to see a doctor.

Good Luck and I sincerely hope you told someone.

Answer 7

Technically, if anyone penetrated, your vagina for sex, even partially, you are not a virgin.

I am sorry to hear of your sexual assault, it can have long-after emotional effects.

To know if you hymen is intact, go to a Dr. and have a vaginal exam.

I have read that some girls' hymens are quite thick and for purposes of pain, choose to have the Dr. cut it before the wedding.

Answer 8

Some girls are born without hymens. Some hymens are lost by rigorous activities like bike riding or horse back riding. I am not downplaying what happened to you. It's horrible that it happened...however...you can't determine a woman's virginity by whether or not their hymen is intact. Good luck.

Answer 9

You have not lost you virginity yet if you forced to have sex. If you still feel wierd about it, if you are religious, pray to god and he will give you a thing called seconary virginity because god will refill you with your cleanliness of virginity for your marrige. Your fiance could help you with this if he really loves you. Also consult a OBGYN to check if you caught anything from your previos experiance, also to check if you lost your hymen yet.

Answer 10

If a penis penetrated your vagina you have lost your virginity. Your hymen has nothing to do with virginity since it is often broken by playing sports or horsback riding etc.