I mean he's already cheated on me twice, and i'm scared to lose him, i do love him!! We're to be married on april 22nd 2008. he tells me he loves me but i don't feel like he feels the spark between us anymore, am i wrong or is it possibe? This sucks because i have already went through crap with him, a lot of it, i even had a miscarrige with his baby!!! Am i wrong for always being to jealous? A girl always txt him and calls him late at night, but if i answer she hangs up. he says its b/c she doesn't like me but she doesn't know me!! Then i tell her to stop and she gets all offensive and says i'm the one acting weird!!! is she right or is she banging my future hubby? i need help, i don't want to marry a cheater, and have 60 step-kids. please help, i'm worried and confused and i guess i just don't want to see it, even if it might be there in front of me!!!
2007-03-24 18:52:53 · 21 answers · asked by ~It's A Boy *Kaiden Avery*~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He tells me she is just a friend from an old job, but she doesn't call during the day like a normal person, it's like 1-4. he says she has a new job and works at night. sometimes he treats me great but at times i wonder if its just an act. why do girls have to go through this stuff! we got in a huge fight last night and he broke his guitar, cuz he was mad at me for starting a "stupid" fight. i cut his strings and he freak is what i think! We live together in a apartment with his friend who refuses to pay the bills b/c he's never here (which he isn't) but he still uses everything, and now he won't pay this months rent b/c he can't afford it and he won't look for a better job even though he says he will, but we can't afford to take him under our wing, but he does and i get mad, can i? is it wrong? its not my money, yet? but i take care of them cooking and cleaning and they are ungrateful! he says the guys like a bro, but he is taking advantage of us and when i point it out he flips, Why?
2007-03-24 19:21:15 · update #1
I don't consider it jealousy when he's talking to another woman and he's cheated on you before, but maybe he does. Please, for your futures sake and you DO NOT MARRY HIM! If he cheated on you once and you gave him a chance that's can be understandable but he cheated on you twice and you have a strong feeling that he's doing again then he probably is. He didn't deserve that third chance. Plus the girl is calling and texting him. Of course she won't like you, your with him and she's not but that doesn't excuse her calling or even him talking to her. You should be the only female he talks to besides at work. If he can't decide that on his own then he's not good enough for you. I believe that if you marry him you will regret it. You don't want to stress your whole marriage and let this control it and your life. Wouldn't you'd rather be with someone that you don't even have to think about him cheating? Plus, if you marry him and then find out he's cheating then it will be harder for you to leave him. I have experience in this situation. I know it's hard and you and him went through alot together but it's not worth it. Think about the struggles you went through and is it worth you marrying him over. I now you have connections with him but they are not worth it. You deserve better, much better. Just think about it. I care and don't want to see another hurt woman. You know ahead of time that he cheats, that's a red flag right there. That over powers ALL the good things. No matter what sweet talk he tries on you. He might beg and cry but it's probably fake.
2007-03-24 19:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by Ellen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it all at the end of your question. You don't want to see it, even though its all right in front of you. You really need to break away from this guy but that's not all. You need to take some time off with out having a guy so that you can really think about the qualities in a guy you are looking for. For instance, lets get away from guys that have all these issues that make you feel like you have to see them thru them all. Instead, try and find someone that doesn't have serious issues to begin with. Oh and how about this one...lets try and find a guy that is so into you, that cheating is the last thing on his mind. Are these guys out there? Sure are, but you need to take the first step and not go out with every guy that shows some interest in you. Be alittel picky with who you go out with, and hopefully by doing that you will start to have a few more princes than frogs. Good Luck!
2007-03-25 02:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Girl you already know the answer!! If a girl is calling and texting him all the time, and it isn't his sister, then what is she doing with him?! Don't marry this guy. In fact, dump this loser. He isn't being good to you, and he has already cheated on you twice! And you are wondering if the signs are there?!
No it is not wrong for you to be jealous because you have every right to be! He is out there screwing around on you and you are just letting it happen. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you!
He is going to keep treating you like crap as long as you let him. He is walking all over you and lying to your face. Why else would a girl call and hang up if you answer? And if she isn't with him, then what reason does she have not to like you?
You already know what you SHOULD do. The question is are you ready to go through with it? Don't marry someone that doesn't treat you like the queen you are; why do you want to give yourself to someone that isn't your king?!
Good luck girl!
2007-03-25 02:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kristy C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its clear by reading additional information you have provided here that he may loves you but sure he is not in love with you neither he respect his lady.
There is an old say "Once is cheater is always a cheater. A relationship should be based on love and trust and I am not able to see neither. This also have to come from both side.
Why do you want o marry him I think just living with him next couple of years will be nightmares for you. Spartan
2007-03-25 03:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by Spartan Total Warrior 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel it is good to forgive cheating once, but if they do it again and you stay then you are a fool. Why? Because nothing will ever be the same again and he no longer deserves one of the most things important in a relationship, trust. I trust my husband he has no female friends, he hangs out w/ guys about once every other month. If he all the sudden started hanging out w/ a woman I would befriend her to see if I can trust her alone w/ him. But if he cheated on me then he would never be allowed female friends again until our marriage was repaired. If he were friends w/ anyone, male or female that did not like me he would not be friends w/ them. (I asked him what he thought) We both agree that if the woman does not like you, then she probably trash talks about you and your boyfriend allows it by remaining her friend. And why would he do that? Because he gets something from her other than friendship. You are being played the fool. My husband says; "WAKE UP AND LOOSE THE LOOSER!!! L
2007-03-25 02:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by LUCY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should've left him after he cheated on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You shouldn't give him the benefit of doubt because he obviously doesn't deserve it. You deserver someone who wont f**k around on you and be completely honest with you. Girls calling in the middle of the night is not at all under any circumstances OK. I'm sorry hunny but you need to think more about what's healthy and best for you and your future before you marry someone of his kind.
2007-03-25 01:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's wrong getting jeslous of ur b/f or g/f talkimg with someone else, it' s something natural which happens with everyone whethere he is a boy or girl. When u r emotionally attached with anyone, u become automatically too much concerned towards him/her, and that's ur concern wich makes u feel overprtective towards him/her though u know that he/she is as matured as u r and he/she too know that whats good and whats bad for him/her.
There is nothing special or new abt what i said, evey one knows it and insteed of knowing this we all feel jealous towards it, I think the best way to come out of it is that just feel or imagine that u have got such an amazing or intresting partner that evey one is getting attratcetd towards him/her and that feeling should make u feel happy or feel proud of that how lucky u r that u r with a such a precious partner.
2007-03-25 08:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by Gaurav S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it but don't marry him. If your already second guessing him then you deserve and can do a lot better! My ex use to cheat on me, then tell me he wants to marry me and all that crap! I am now happily married and not to him. Let him know how it feels. Have one of your guy friends call and then hang up on him! Then maybe he'll change his ways!
Sorry I hope things get better!
2007-03-25 02:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by Elmo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes dear, Your boy friend should have the liberty to be boyfriend of others too. This gives a price of his goodwill. If you love him, your attraction and will should be so strong that he will be just meeting with other girls, You will be his ideal.
Jealousy in you will reduce your price value before your boyfriend.
2007-03-25 02:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Dabs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c'mon how are u bearing that man yaar..... u r great........
look, don't make him feel he's getting into a commitment and he has no where out......... check if this idea works out..... ask any of yoUr friend to give u a call during the night.... after 12..... and if ur b/f picks tell her not to speak....... see how he reacts and before the situation goes out of hand tell him u r intention..... and it was the same thing u feel when a girl calls him at nite.......
u have gone beyond limits before marriage.......sooo... i hesitate to suggest you to leave him....... coz i think ur relationship was so secure and trustworthy for u to take that step...... make him understand.........
and if still nothing seems to be all rite make up ur mind....... be strong...... leave him.....move ahead.........
don't be under his clucthes and don't allow him to overpower u.... be strong.....
2007-03-25 07:03:37 · answer #10 · answered by ISSSSHHHHHHHHH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋