wives: would this bother you?

Question

He bought me a dozen roses for valentines day. Then I find out he also gave his mother a dozen roses. To me, I felt that this took away the romantic and personal aspect of the gift. He swears that I am wrong and that there is nothing wrong with this. How would you feel?

And before you tell me I should feel "honored" that he loves me as much as his mother, please save it. I am married to a wonderful Italian man who loves Mama a little less than God....a tiny bit less.

Monica,
I have four sons. The older ones are 17, 18 adn 22. I have thought about this and YES it would be wierd if they bought me the same gift that they gave thier girlfriends on V-day. I appreciate your response though. THANKS

Answer 1

I feel the same way you do. And since Valentine's Day was over a month ago & you're just now asking this I see that its really bothering you.
It was nice of him to give his mom something for V-Day, but it is a romantic holiday for lovers. You should remind him of that. And the fact that he gave his mom the same thing he gave his wife, well that's just not right.

Answer 2

First of all, Congrats on having one of the most romantic men of that country! I hear very good things about italian men, let alone their food and wines! Personally I don't think this should bother you at all, he respects and adores women, giving them their rightful place.
I'd feel lucky, trust me you might even know, there are A LOT of men now a days that don't do that anymore, the romance, the gentleman gesture dissapeared some time ago.
If you had a son would you as the mother get bothered that he gave you roses?
Take Care,
Monica

Answer 3

He has 2 special woman in his life his Mother AND YOU .why should he not show each one of you that he loves you both dearly. like it or not his Mother was first in his life. and with some guy's mama is all ways going to be his first love. and i don't mean anything perverted in saying this but it's true. ask yourself this question are you sure your not just a little bit jealous of his feelings for his Mother. that would be normal i think . but you could talk to him and let him know that you want V-DAY reserved only for you with rose's . personally it would not bother me in the least if hubby wants to give his mom rose's for V-day . It would only confirm what i all ready know that my motherinlaw did a great job raising her son . anyway try to not be to hard on him after all he did think about you and you got a dozen rose's as well .

Answer 4

It sounds like he lacks creativity. Flowers on Valentines day are pretty predictable, and honestly not very romantic in my opinion. He gave them to you both because he loves you both....I wouldn't be upset about that part. I'd be a little disappointed he didn't put much effort into the thought. I was also married to an Italian.....and know all about the "mama's". Just be glad he didn't buy you lingerie....and her too!!

Answer 5

I have been married for 30 years and what he buys me as a gift doesn't mean much to me. The fact that he buys one is the most meaningful thing. Life is so short, why get up set about gifts? A couple of years from now you won't even remember what he gave you. Don't sweat the small stuff. Relax and be happy.

Answer 6

I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. To me, your husband sounds like a VERY sweet man. I actually find it very attractive and sweet that he bought his mother a dozen red roses too. How sweet is that!? I don't think it's a matter of him loving you the same or more or less than his mother, that is just silly. I think he just loves you both and what more can you ask for than that?! This just means he's a good man. He is just a very loving person. Please don't be upset with him, he could of not gotten either of you anything... :)

Answer 7

Darn! Jen

You blew it! Up until now I always thought that the italian guys ran the marathon when it came to romance. Even my pathetic excuse after forgetting to buy her a gift was classier than his. "I told her that I didn't buy her anything on purpose, because I wanted to show her how much I loved her on any ol' regular day. It ended up costing me $320 the following four days for cards, flowers, candy etc. I start planning for V-day right after christmas, now.

I know you asked for opinions from wives, but you wives were right when you said us men do the dumbest things!

Answer 8

OMG I thought it was just MY (Italian) husband that loved his mama just a little less than God! Ohhhh he loves his mama! And my husband loves me and treats me like a princess.

And yeah you shoulda been hurt by that. You are his WIFE and you should be honored as such. He could have done ANYTHING else for his mama, but to do the same DOES take the specialness out of the sentiment. Candy, card, ANYthing!

So yeah you should have been hurt. Doesnt mean he doesnt love you to pieces, he just should have done something different for his mom. Take care!

Answer 9

Valentine's Day is a romantic holiday. Nothing more than that. He should have at least made the gifts different. Awful way to bring you down, but I don't think something like this would bother someone that much, there has to be something else that is bothering you! Sounds like you have a valid reason to be jealous of his mother. He needs to cut the umbilical cord!

Answer 10

Interesting ...Italians and Sicilians have huge hearts and a lovers by nature ( of course a bit of temper in there as well)
So he gave his mom a doz flowers as well as with you, then what you need to do is this, when it comes to his birthday buy him a gift and then get his Dad or your dad or brother the same thing , ask him if it bothers him that you both got the same thing. I know naughty me but sometimes ya gotta do things for them to see and understand.