2007-03-24 18:20:57 · 19 answers · asked by sven 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What are they doing that is driving you nuts? Why does your wife want to keep them? Do you love, or care about these chlildren at all? Okay, I am asking you to please walk a mile in their shoes. These kids (whatever ages) have been removed from their mom (and dad?), put in your home, first, or another home for them? Regardless, they need stability. Being moved from one place to another is hard on kids. Have you ever seen the movie, "Free Willey"? About the boy? It's not quite the same, but close. Why did you become foster parents? You love children, and want to provide a stable home environment for them? How long have they been in your home? Is this their first "home away from home" or more? You don't want them to "gt lost" in the system, do you? You must care about them some, or you wouldn't be foster parents. Plese, listen to your wife, unless the only reason you want to be foster parents is for "the money" what small amount you get,. Please, put yourself in their place, and think about what it would have been like for you to go thru what they are going thru. I'ts called empathy. Also, both sides need to respect each other. You them, and them you (and your wife.). If they are not in counseling, why aren't they? Please ask the CPS worker to get good counseling for them, and for your wife and you. At least for the kids. Then you can also have talks with the counselor(s) about the concerns you have about the children. Okay? Ok. Sounds like a plan to me. Take care.
2007-03-24 18:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women are mostly meant to be mentors and caring - no matter what! You've got a problem. She's not gonna give! So be it! I sympathize, what can I say. You're a 'dead duck'. You gotta respect being 'foster parents', but they have to go back to where they belong sooner or later!
I do not speak from just being a caring person. My first wife 'kissed off' my daughter twice just to hold onto a dolt of a man and a free meal ticket(we were divorced when this happened-of course)!
My daughter 'survived' because of me and my instincts. My present wife of many , many years has been of great support. Fortunately, we have had the opportunity to have a good source of income which just modifies our contribution to her life.'Nuff said! EXCEPT MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. NO DOUBT YOUR WIFE HAS THE BEST OF INTENTIONS!
2007-03-24 18:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You called them 'MY FOSTER CHILDREN'. Who does MY include? This is insane the way some of you come here with a couple words and expect to get answers, when in truth, if you have been on YA long enough, all you are gonna get is the runaround, which apparently you are already getting. LOL! Get rid of your wife AND the kids. Go out and get stoned. LIFE IS GOOOOOD!
2007-03-24 18:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can pick to answers to this, if you love her enough you will stick around and try to help her with the children.. And if you dont think you can take it anymore then you could leave her.. I am guessing you are the one that works so she is the one that bonds with them.. Making her chose between them is not good. That is going to hurt her alot.. And honestly they need you just as much as she does.. They are looking up to you know as there Daddy that is not there for them.. I would give it more time to see if you can grow attached to them too..I am not being a B word with this next sentence just wanted to add it... Them children are not like dogs you can not just throw them out.. I think you should might want to get closer to them so they have a better childhood... and talk to her about this a little bit more too
2007-03-24 18:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your wife need to have a very serious conversation. Foster kids need a nurturing environment, and if they drive you nuts, maybe you should not have them.
2007-03-24 18:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by Nanneke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy your wife likes kids, and love them yourself. Identify what it is that drives you nuts and then deal with yourself. The children need you and her.
2007-03-24 18:26:11 · answer #6 · answered by baldy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
think about the children...you're a foster father now, so put the kids first in all of your decisions. how would that make them feel for you to abandon them like that, when they've already been abandoned by their maternal parents? if your kids are really acting up, there's always counseling for them and for you.
2007-03-24 18:23:41 · answer #7 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, a better explanation would be, better are they having unprotected sex and breaking the law, or just annoying, to have foster kids u would have to of signed up for it, maybe u should just suck it up and deal with the consequences, and do ur civic duty.
2007-03-24 18:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by trust_me74 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WELL WITH ALL DO RESPECT - YOU SHOULD OF CONSIDERED THAT FOSTER CHILDREN ACT OUT B/C THEY ALREADY FEEL LIKE NO-1 WANTED OR LOVES THEM 9XOUTTA 10. TO GIVE THEM AWAY IS SAD . JUST INTERACT W/ THEM MORE -LET THEM KNOW SOMEONE CARES ABOUT THEM .
2007-03-24 18:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by miabear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and have a talk w/ her. This responsibility does not only pertains to her, you are the other half and why they are there w/ you guys. I think she should listen to how you feel and then you two conclude into an agreement....good luck :)
2007-03-24 18:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by Edith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋