Okay my soon to be husband is a really great guy. But he has a problem with drinking. Its like chips...Once he pops he cant stop. He takes care of our family and pays bills and so loving you couldn't even imagine.
I have told him many of times that he needs to slow down or stop and he tells me he will then goes off and drinks again. I need a way to tell him nicely that he needs help and needs to stop. Not only for his family at home, but for him. He is slowly killing himself.
2007-03-24 17:28:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
stop drinking or im not walking down the aisle? dont marry someone whos going to putting drinking above his family
2007-03-24 17:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by Vickie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is takes care of the family, pays the bills, and loves you all more than anything, let the man drink, at least that's what I would want, after all, I am drunk right now.
I see no harm in drinking if he is doing his "duty," or is able to pull his own weight.
If he is able to fulfill all of these things you state, I can't see it as a problem, other than he is slowly destroying his liver/health, which ultimately is the worst one can do.
If he is addicted, like myself, tell him you want him to stop, and that you will help him through the process of becoming sober.
Honestly I have the same problem it seems, so I may not be much help, but first you need to make him see that he has a problem, and it NEEDS to be fixed. Once he does see that, support him the best you can.
2007-03-25 00:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by brandonedbishop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to put the wedding on hold and give him an ultimatum - "either stop drinking, or the wedding is off". When there is an alcohol problem, it only gets worse with age. He could be the greatest guy in the world, but as he gets older, there will be health probs, sexual probs, money probs, etc. As the drinking picks up momentum, so will the amount of money he spends on it. Oh yeah, crunch some numbers and see how much it will cost to keep him out of jail when he gets pulled over for an OVI. The minimum amount will be $2,500 - that buys a lot of food and necessities for the family.
This is really the last chance you have to get him to take you seriously over this. If you marry him, it will take something else to straighten him out i.e. drunk driving conviction, killing someone driving drunk, cirhossis of the liver, etc.
2007-03-25 00:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that Youll go out with him once or twice a month and he can do some drinking with you there to look after him or share in his fun. Tell him your love for him is more important than drinking all the time and if he agrees then in time hopefully he wont even want to drink at all or very rarely. Its hard for men to stop anything but slow him down first might be your answer.
2007-03-25 00:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by excalibur44 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can make someone quit drinking. They have to admit they have a problem and want help themselves. My husband (I didn't know him then) was an alcoholic. He has been sober 25 years this October. He decided one day to stop, went to AA and kept going and he got thru it. I am so proud of him. But he wouldn't quit for his first wife, his kids or anyone. He had a long talk with God one day and took it from there. You can't change him. But I would tell him you won't marry him till he gets help. Living with an alcoholic is no life.
2007-03-25 00:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to put off the engagement until he takes action. Be strong and confident about it and hand back that ring. And this time, be sure of his intentions and actions. Looks like you need to be apart for a while so you can really ponder if you want the kind of life this man is offering to you right now. He should be treating you like gold. Think about it, buttercup.
2007-03-25 00:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by manbear07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About all you can do is offer to go with him to get some help. Tell him that you love him and want the best for him. Try to encourage him in the best way that you can. Maybe seek some counseling for yourself first. That may be helpful to you when learning how to handle the situation.
2007-03-25 00:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really worse than "Stop smoking" He may get Violent (Worst case scenario) or he may need some mental help Personally I don't recommend AA It is no more than a cult If your husband gets some good counselling he should make it.
2007-03-25 00:37:11 · answer #8 · answered by hobo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often?
Does he DO anything when he drinks? Become violent? Yelling? Staying out too late ? Doing stupid stuff?
If he isn't doing any of that then it should be fine - unless he's doing it CONSTANTLY like more than 3 times a week.
You DEFINATELY should go to counseling
And if it is more than 3 times a week , or he gets violent - you need to send him to AA or REHAB
2007-03-25 00:33:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
confide your feelings with your fiance. tell him that you're bothered with his drinking and make a compromise. meet him halfway, and address his needs as long as you both stick to your ends of the deal. I'm sure he also wants to stop, but his alcoholism is really difficult to overcome. being the closest person to him right now, you will be able to help him overcome this "burden" and ease it off your back as well.
help each other. I'm praying that you soon overcome this obstacle. hope this helps.
2007-03-25 00:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Kwinsi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your local AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) Chapter they should be in the phone book and ask them if you can get your husband to agree to it would they send a couple of people out to talk to him. Set up the meeting, and let them talk about what alcoholism is. He may or may not be willing to attend their meeting for a while. It is worth a try.
2007-03-25 00:41:50 · answer #11 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋