My mom is having a hard time accepting me for who I am?

Question

My mother does not approve of the music I listen to(rock) the clothes I wear (mostly from hot topic) or my friends (punk rockers like myself). I believe she wants so hard for me to be like everyone else (stereotypical black person) no offense intended. I do reject the urban culture and steer away from anything that has to do with it. I am the only one in my family that is "different" but my dad and siblings just accepted it but not my mother. But it hurts me to see how my mom looks at me as though I'm strange, I mean I get those looks and often remarks from strangers (quite often) but I never expected it from my mom. I just don't know what to do I'm not going to change who I am to impress anyone, I just wish she was more accepting of me.

I have noticed since I got accepted to college she has been more understanding. That took me by surprise a bit because it came out of the blue maybe, I believe its because I am the first of her children to actually make it that far. I'm not sure.

To-atolagbed
I absolutely do not dress indecently and I am not doing this to impress anyone. I am not a delinquent I’ve never been arrested, I make great grades and I am respectful to all my elders. The fact that I would rather go join a mosh pit or shop at hot topic is that qualified as a wrong thing?

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with dressing different but since you are the same person that wrote about hating her own race, I think you have issues way beyond people accepting the way you dress or the music you listen to. Also,what exactly is a stereotypical black person? I don't think you should have to change for anyone because I too know what it's like to be different from others as far as the music I listen to and the clothing I wear. I dress in clothes that are different sometimes and listen to rock music and other types of music that some of my family or friend would tease me about and say I listen to "white people's music". I pay them no mind and tell them to worry about themselves.
Did you ever stop to think the reason why your mom isn't or wasn't more open to you could be the fact that you feel hate for your own race? She and I'm very sure any other person, would take that as you hating her (who happens to be a part of that race) as well.
Don't ever change who you are to suit anyone, but don't ever forget who you are either.

Answer 2

Dear Summer,

You and your Mom are from two different generations. This is nothing new. When I was a teenager, I dealt with parents from a World War II generation. Listening to rock and doing your "own thing" was a foreign concept to them, and in many ways, it still is. And there was friction between us many times. I thought that I knew what was best for me, and of course, they thought they knew best.

You know, your Mom is still your mother. And nothing will ever change that. No fashions or fads will ever make any difference. Blood is blood.

You know, sometimes you need to meet others in the middle, somewhere on common ground, in order to get respect and get along. Just as you ask for acceptance and respect, so does your Mom. So maybe you can make a little extra effort to meet her in the middle, and you might be suprised as to how far she will be willing to go to meet with you.

Fads and fashions come and go, as do friendships. But you only get one mother, and she will be the one who will be there for you in thick or thin. Whenever times are good, or when times are bad. When you come to realize this, you will have truly reached maturity, and you will be a much better person for it.

Answer 3

My mom was like that with me when I hit 15. I was not at all the daughter she pictured herself to have, and that bothered me internally for years because I felt like I loved my mom as she was and its a mothers duty to love her child unconditionally, but she seemed disgusted by me. It wasnt until I hit about my 20s that she started to relax a little. She is starting to see that Im different from the people she is used to, but that doesnt mean Im a bad person. I just had to prove myself to her, and the only way I knew how to do that was just to be comfortable in my own skin.

Answer 4

I think your mum those not want to accept you because you are not what you think you are,you are brought up in a decent way but you want to impress other people outside by dressing indecently which your mum is not please with. Your mum is trying to protect your future life that's why she is aginst most of the wrong things you does but you think they are right. Listen to your mum and you will reasson with her.

Answer 5

to each their own
you and i are living proof that boundries are ment to be steped over, especially racial stereotype boundries
not all blacks listen to just rap, hiphop, etc.
not all white listen to just country, that's the only one that i can think of as being sterotyped white music.
lol any who you're mom may not agree with your taste in music, but being your mother, i know she loves you all the same

Answer 6

I'm black listen to country, rock, pop, alternative, etc. my mother doesn't understand it, but she doesn't care either. Why should you care? This is your life not hers. Either she accepts you, or she doesn't. Just move on. You agree to disagree.

Answer 7

My mother taught me to tell the truth no matter how bad it hurts.
I did tell the truth against her husband. (my step-dad)
She dis-owned me over it.
She refuses to speak with me, unless I say I lied.
It hurts....I told the truth.

Be the best YOU can be....that's all I can say.

EDIT:
I'm the "different" one......the trouble-maker

Answer 8

I really think you should talk to your mother about how you are feeling,she may not even realize this is bothering you.