2007-03-24 16:54:14 · 10 answers · asked by Miss 2007 Diva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no set time. Just be sure you know what you're doing before you ask. You want to be sure you know the person very, very well so there are no surprises later on. I don't mean things like are they grumpy in the morning. I'm talking serious stuff like birth control, when and if to have children, can religious differences, if any, be resolved. Know the other person's family. I can guarantee from experience and my advanced years that the girl will be like her mother and the guy like his father. Not necessarily in looks, but that does happen, of course, but in temperment and views.
Very Important: be sure the person feels the same way you do or when you ask you may not get the answer you like.
My husband told me on our first date he loved me, proposed on our third date, and we married 15 months later. Thirty years later we admitted we really didn't love each other on our wedding day, but we went ahead with the wedding anyway and chalked up the "uneasiness" we felt to nerves and the stress of the day. We care about each other in our own way, but what a waste--we could have spent time with someone we really cared about passionately. At times I feel we cheated ourselves and can't help but wonder what if. Still, it's been a good life, but if I had to do it over again, I'd be very sure.
2007-03-24 17:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by goldie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the whole situation. For example, I am a high school senior that has been with my bf for 5 years, and even though we really would like to be married, there are obviously several obstacles. But for more "normal" situations... I would wait at least 4 to 6 months before the proposal and then about 6 more months until the wedding. You really want to know what makes the other person tick... how to make them happy when they're sad, etc. Obviously there will be things you won't know about the other person but that will come with time. You also have to do a bit of soulsearching to make sure that it is truly love and not lust (as in if they were maimed by a car accident, for example, would you still love them and do everything you could to take care of them, or would your feelings begin to fade?) And then I say 6 months engagement because in order to feel fully prepared for the wedding, that is how much time you'd need, assuming you both work.
2007-03-24 17:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by sjfivhm07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really not time limit persay BUT i would wait at least 6 months before asking and being engaged and at least a year or more before marrying the person. This is my recommendation and thoughts on this. Follow your heart and ask when you feel the time is right:) Totally up to you. Good luck and I hope they say yes.
2007-03-24 16:58:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't limit yourself to limits of time. All you need is to know it is the right thing for you to do - you need to ask yourself if this is the relationship I will fight to keep, because it isn't easy to bring two people together into one unit - it takes work and both need to make compromises along the way.
I proposed six days after I met my wife, and we are in our 33rd year on marriage. Don't ask me why, I really don't know, but it felt "right" at the time, and that has not changed.
2007-03-24 17:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by Tim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't believe there is a limit. My husband and I married after dating for only two months. August 14, 2007 we will be celebrating our 17th anniversary. I say it all depends on the couple.
2007-03-24 17:06:58 · answer #5 · answered by red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard stories about people who get engaged after a week, and others who've waited for years. I would do neither. If the feelings are mutual, and you know they are, then maybe its time to sit and talk about the future. If your plans look to have one another long term, then its probably time you begin to think about engagement. If not, then you might not be on the same page. Good luck.
2007-03-24 17:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by stormc2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After age 18, do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship
without marriage....Do NOT have kids out of wedlock...
Get a good Pre-Nup...
Never marry anyone whom you know to have any personality
or character problems, they will only get worse after marriage.
2007-03-24 17:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that two people should at least date for one or two years, and if they feel that, this is the right thing to do then go for it.
2007-03-24 17:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never proposed to anyone, so...38 years and counting, evidently.
2007-03-24 16:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No set time, just want to make sure it is what you want
2007-03-24 17:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋