My question, is being a Mother a full time job or just life?

Question

My question comes from my husband telling me that being a mother 24/7 and no paid vacation, sick days or weekends off is just away of life! ok your benifits are your children but it is not easy. HELP am i crazy in thinking this is like a job and i work as hard as he does?

Answer 1

I think its very natural to think like this. If you were to think any other way I would say you are a very weak person. You have good self-worth. Yes, it is a part of life, but it is a choice you make also. You can choose to go out and work, you can get a babysitter, trusted friend or family to look after your children.....lots of people do it. I did it, and my children have suffered no ill effects. I have a great relationship with my kids and they all feel loved. Like I said, its all in the choices we make. Maybe your husband is of the belief that to be a good mother you have to be there 24/7....thats his belief, but hes not right. If you feel the need to go out and work, then he needs to respect that fact. He also has to realise that children do not necessarily have to be disadvantaged by it. There are also some very positive studies done with children who attend child care, etc, who are not cared for by their mother 24/7. These children learn to socialize earlier....learn to become independent earlier and in a lot of cases they become very independent, self-assured people simply because their parents allow them to socialize with other children in a setting other than a home one.

There are negatives and positives, but I can only speak from my own experiences. My kids are together, independent and very social creatures. I dont think me going out to work has done any damage whatsoever. Kids know when they are loved....you dont have to be there 24/7 for them to know that.

You work harder than your husband. You are on call 24/7. I wonder how he would feel working for an employer 24/7 with no pay. I bet he wouldnt do it. I think your husband has been lost in the dark ages...probably been influenced by what his parents beliefs were....his mother probably stayed at home 24/7......and thats why he says it is just life.....its his life, its his expectations...but that doesnt mean he is right. Maybe you need to get some printouts about the mental health of children whos mothers have gone out to work. Maybe he needs to let go of his age-old beliefs and realise that his children will not be disadvantaged if you are not a 24/7 mother.

Answer 2

Being a full-time mom is the most difficult and most rewarding job. I have done both - ousted job and full time mom and it was so much easier to go every morning to work! Being a stay home mom does not give you a 15 min break or a 1 hour lunch. You also don't get a paid vacation, or any vacation for that matter. Honey, you are not going crazy I think most of us moms have gotten that "but you don't work" line. But remember- an outside job will never give you the benefits that raising your children will give you. Count it a blessing to be able to stay home and watch your children grow.
*Mother of 3 boys: 15, 10, 8*

Answer 3

You are definitely not crazy, and my hat goes off to you! Where I live we get a year of mat leave and I knew after that year that I couldn't handle being a full time mom. It's just too hard and too tiring! Yes, we made the decision to have children, but everyone needs a break every now and then. I think women who stay at home with their children deserve the same benefits as women who work full time. You still get stressed, sick, overworked, overtired, I think sometimes it's harder than working full time! Tell your husband to take a week long "vacation" while you go away for a week, and leave him the kids. I'm guessing after just one week his mind will be forever changed!

Answer 4

I am a father and you need to tell him sweetly that being a father is 24/7 too.Parenting is a full time job for both parents.
If you are tired and need a break you have to take it otherwise at some point you and he are going to face health bills.
If the kids are little you need some help if they are over 5 make sure they help.Whatever you do avoid arguing but make sure you get a break sometime.Dad should be able to mind the kids sometimes so you can have a lunch with the girls.
Babies are hard work.

Answer 5

Being a mother is a full time job. BUT your husband should be more supportive and helpful with this and not take you for granted so much. He is the dad and that is a full time job as well. He needs to help you with this and with the children at times. You do work as hard as he does and he needs to realize this. There is a saying that goes a man works from sun to sun but a womans work is never done. So i would say that you work harder and more then what he does.

Answer 6

Well I can tell you...and this is from a man who's wife left and I got full custody of two children....its a job....and a dam hard one at that! Any man....and I mean ANY who thinks that taking care of kids is a cake walk and not a FULL time job....best try it for a while.....and I don't mean for a day or two......or a long weekend......take over for a year or two....then if you can say its not a stress filled....draining...both mentally and physically FULL time JOB....with NO pay...NO sick days....then you are a better man than I was. Oh yeah....its a way of life alright and your benefits are your kids.......but DAM its Work! And the pay REALLY sucks! LOL Not really....your pay is raising good honest respectful responsible kids but I still find it easier to go work a full day at my shop....about 10 hours.....go home work on farm for about another 4 hours than take care of the "little darlins" full time.

Answer 7

Being a mother of young children (and a wife) is a full-time job. As the kids start to get a little older, like maybe school age, they simply don't need and demand as much attention or time. Kids are still a huge responsiblity, though.

If there is any doubt, ask any daycare provider how much they charge to take care of a child on a weekly basis.

Answer 8

I don't think I understand. Is he putting you down? Of course it is a hell of alot of work. The kind of work that I think only a woman can do. Woman have stamina when it comes to being a mother. Nothing gets in the way when there stuff to do for the babies or kiddos. You may not think of it as a job because you love doing it. An hell no, it's not easy. I couldn't keep the baby from crying. My wife always had the magic touch. You're damn straight you work as hard as he does. It is a full time job for life. When you retire, you die (My mom is 79 and she still worries about me; still being a momma).

Answer 9

It is the hardest JOB anyone has mother or father. I am a single mother with 3 kids and it is a rough and tough job. But it has to be the greatest ever and would not change a thing. Except the arguing between them.It is a part of life. It is unconditional love!

Answer 10

Your husband is right, plus being a mother is a big responsibility and it comes with the marriage package. It is not easy to raise children, but being a mother to them is sure worth it.

You are not crazy, it is a full-time job. Your husband and children should be grateful to have you in their lives! Just love them, love them, and love them!