i broke up with my bf who was emotional abusive?

Question

i did it tonight but when i broke it off i can tell in his eyes that he thinks im kidding. bc i did take him back 5 times and he didnt change. why do i still want to call him and waiting for him to call me when he says he does. i was scared to tell him but i knew it was the right thing to do my heart was tired. will it get better as the days go on. last time i broke it off i was doing good then he did the whole notes on the car and leaving voicemails saying im sorry etc. do u think he will do that again. so write back hayley

Answer 1

Great. It's a great sign of courage and responsibility to do that. The next phase of your life would be very very difficult. Emotional abuse is a scary thing. No scar is there physical enough to tell you something is wrong. Trust your instincts, if he did anything humiliating to you, assert yourself.

I guess for the time being he would do anything to get you back. It would be tempting to go back to him and end your misery and confusion once and for all. But the end result would be the same - that he would not change. You have already said it. 5 times and he didn't. So is it likely to be different this time round? Communicate clear thoughts to him and say if he wants you back he'd have to take a period off (probably a year) to change, and it is without you around him. If he refuses it shows that he is not respecting your wishes after all and it is very likely he would not, too, in any near future.

For your own healing you must believe in yourself that you would succeed. You would achieve greater happiness without him. Let yourself heal slowly from the pain. Feel all the emotions overwhelming you. When you feel like you want to give in, write it down somewhere, write how you miss him, how you want to get back to him, how you want him to call you, etc. But do not let him know. You can also alternatively write a Con next to a Pro of how good it is being with him. I strongly believe the Cons would outweigh the Pros. Look at the piece of paper and think again why you want him back. Good luck.

Answer 2

Good for you! Breaking up with your emotionally abusive bf is a vote for yourself and your value. Use your extra time (now that he's out) to do things you need/want to do for yourself. It may take so time to recharge your self respect to the point that you won't even think of staying with someone who is abusive. Notice, as you respect yourself enough to set limits on unacceptable behavior others start respecting you more too. Then you will attract the kind of man who will honor you and know he is lucky to have someone so special that he will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
Know that the relationship you have had with your former bf is unhealthy for both of you. From what you've written about taking him back 5 times you have given it every chance. It is not a relationship at this point,but a bad habit that is not serving either one of you. So if your former bf starts begging, AGAIN, why not just give him the gift of letting him grow on his own.
I was in a relationship just like the one you describe, for five years. It would get better for short periods then deteriorate again to a lower level each time. Things did not really start getting better until I left and broke off all forms of contact.
My heart goes out to you. Know that it does get better, and you can do it.

Answer 3

You’re asserting he grew to become into emotional abusive – precise? He in no way have been given actual with you? If he in no way has been bodily abusive with you in 4 years, he probable won’t now. Emotional abuse is regularly a manufactured from the guy feeling no longer so good because of fact the only being abused. besides, to be on the secure area – decrease all ties and communications with him and don’t enable him into your life in any respect. For the main area, till you do something stupid, it is going to likely be over. he will probable tell human beings what a ***** you're, etc. yet no longer something will come of it in case you carry your head up and flow on including your life. He might attempt to text fabric you and in some days he is going to be feeling undesirable desirous to get decrease back mutually, yet like I stated - save walking

Answer 4

I know what you are going through. I had a boyfried who would break up with me and then would start the note thing and the im sorry thing. Trust me they never change. They change for maybe a month or so but after that it is just the same stuff. It gets so much better and so much easier. But to get some closure stay away from him for at least 3 months. Stay completely away no talking or emailing. I know it is hard but just think their is someone who is going to treat you like you diserve!!!!!

Answer 5

he will probably do it again but be strong, ignor his calls, start hanging out with new people and old friends, and avoid him and hopefully eventually he will go away....my ex was the same i finally got enough courage to leave him and i was scared that i would end up going back to him and i was scared that he was gonna come after me and hurt me, he would call my house, my cell, my job, my friends, but i did my own thing and pretended like he didn't exist, it finally ended when he went to jail, now i met the love of my life and he treats me like a princess so go move on and find someone new and be happy for once

Answer 6

You deserve better so dont call him because he is not willing to change and you are a queen and deserve to feel like one and as soon as someone is giving you less than what you deserve kick them to the curb. It is understandable that you still want to call him but remember why you broke up with him and do everything you have to to keep him out of your life.

Answer 7

You need to stick with your decision b/c it's what's best for YOU! He will try to get you back(he has before), but you have to make YOU happy!
It WILL get better as days go on, you just have to be firm.
People don't change much. He has done it several times before, unless he gets help and someone not close to him tells him he is doing wrong, he won't listen.
Take care of YOU, you deserve to be happy and not waste your life on someone who cannot make you happy!
Stick it out Girl! There is someone out there who will cherish you, be strong enough to wait it out, it will be worth it!

Answer 8

break this unhealthy cycle of abuse and move on. don't just jump into another relationship either because it will be for the wrong reasons. you need to figure out why you gravitate toward abuse before you get serious again or it will never end no matter who you are with.

Answer 9

Just stay strong. if you've broken up and gone back to him 5 times somethings wrong. But you need to follow you're heart and do what you want.

Answer 10

You wait for him to call out of habbit. This will take a while for you to get out of. But ultimatly you should do what is logically correct instead of your emotions. The biggest struggle we all have is ballancing out our emotion and locical sence.